Recovery After Assault

[Kardiac]

Hello all,

I was recently assaulted (four guys on two, hate-crime based) while out for a walk with my partner a few nights ago, which left me pretty banged up (broken nose/facial bones, significant facial and head bruising/swelling/pain, concussion). I've been trying to "get back on the horse" and go back into public, but every time I do, I get extremely anxious around other males (all the perpetrators were males in their mid-20s).

I was just wondering if anyone had similar experiences, if it was typical to feel this way (and for how long) and what helped achieve normalcy afterwards.

Thanks in advance!

[Deleted]

You definitely need therapy, this can't be solved on your own; It will only stew and stew until it blows up.

[Deleted]

Definitely therapy is a good idea. I had a thing happen to me, a guy did it, and similarly I get ultra anxious around guys if I'm on my own. If I'm on my own at work, I tend to lock the door so we can't get candidates walking in, just because they are dudes, because I know I'd freak out now, even though we're meant to be open for people to walk in etc... Even people I've known for years etc if I'm alone with them I get really uncomfortable. Won't see male friends unless there are other people there and so on... Pretty sure therapy would help but I figured I'd get over it. 2 years later and I'm still freaking out, so definitely get therpay.

[Deleted]

Definitely therapy is a good idea. I had a thing happen to me, a guy did it, and similarly I get ultra anxious around guys if I'm on my own. If I'm on my own at work, I tend to lock the door so we can't get candidates walking in, just because they are dudes, because I know I'd freak out now, even though we're meant to be open for people to walk in etc... Even people I've known for years etc if I'm alone with them I get really uncomfortable. Won't see male friends unless there are other people there and so on... Pretty sure therapy would help but I figured I'd get over it. 2 years later and I'm still freaking out, so definitely get therapy.

There's also this.

Whilst therapy will solve the vast majority of issues, there may still be lingering remnants of apprehension; Just as people who've been cheated on by their partners find it harder to trust again, a person who's been assaulted by x demographic may find it harder to be at ease around them.

I can't tell how you'll respond to therapy OP, but it can only do good for you.

[drwelfare]

Just go, who cares if you look messed up. Lots of times I have went places after injuries, this time when you go be ready for the next bastard that tries it.

[Deleted]

Definitely therapy is a good idea. I had a thing happen to me, a guy did it, and similarly I get ultra anxious around guys if I'm on my own. If I'm on my own at work, I tend to lock the door so we can't get candidates walking in, just because they are dudes, because I know I'd freak out now, even though we're meant to be open for people to walk in etc... Even people I've known for years etc if I'm alone with them I get really uncomfortable. Won't see male friends unless there are other people there and so on... Pretty sure therapy would help but I figured I'd get over it. 2 years later and I'm still freaking out, so definitely get therpay.

I've never been assaulted or anything but I get anxious too when I'm alone or walking past dangerous looking younger men and there are no other people in sight. I think it's normal though, after all if they have ill intentions, it's better to be ready to run. They might be completely decent and nice people but if you've seen horror movies, it's always the trusting and helpful people who get killed first.

[Deleted]

Should definitely try therapy before it kind of just sticks.

[Baracuda]

I've never been assaulted or anything but I get anxious too when I'm alone or walking past dangerous looking younger men and there are no other people in sight. I think it's normal though, after all if they have ill intentions, it's better to be ready to run. They might be completely decent and nice people but if you've seen horror movies, it's always the trusting and helpful people who get killed first.

No, it's the black guy *hides*.

[Deleted]

No, it's the black guy *hides*.

Why do people like you always have to bring race into it?

- - - Updated - - -

I know I take all my life lessons from horror movies...

The point is that if it's a woman or older man who isn't physically fit, you can probably run away from them or defend yourself. Meeting a younger, physically fit male with no one else in sight can end really badly if they tried anything. So I don't see anything wrong with being anxious and alert. It's kinda like driving with your seat belt on. You won't most likely have an accident but if it does happen, it's better to be safe than sorry.

[Gheld]

If you received a concussion, a broken nose, and broken "facial bones" you would still be in the ICU recovering.

[Deleted]

Why do people like you always have to bring race into it?

It's a fucking joke man. Black guys always(read: often) die first in horror flicks.

[Deleted]

I'm assuming its a homophobic attack, if so seek your local LGBT help centre

[Mermaid]

When I was sexually assaulted I went to counseling for years. I'm still filled with anxiety but it does get better. Talk to someone.

[Kardiac]

If you received a concussion, a broken nose, and broken "facial bones" you would still be in the ICU recovering.

I don't know what to tell you; I was sent home with a referral to a surgeon to eventually correct my broken nose (which was confirmed via x-ray), I received a "What to do after a concussion" pamphlet from the doc before discharge, and the dentist who I went to to try and correct my teeth (my front upper left tooth was extremely loose and thought to be dislodged/broken) told me the x-ray showed a broken maxilla (and not the tooth).

Call me a liar all you want, I really couldn't give a shit. If you have no input into the topic at hand other than that, kindly leave the thread.

EDIT: And thank you to those who responded appropriately to the thread; I was hoping that it would be something I could just bounce back from on my own, but judging from responses from those who have been through an assault, counselling seems to be the best choice.

[Templar 331]

Once bitten, twice shy. I think you'll always be a little jumpy now. But go to a psychiatrist for your mental state. You might also want to go to the gym and start taking martial arts classes too. They will help your confidence.

[oxymoronic]

If you received a concussion, a broken nose, and broken "facial bones" you would still be in the ICU recovering.

nah, been through this shit before aint nothing

keep ya head up homie and dont let them get you down - and are you really sure it had to with your sexuality? how did it all go down? i want the details!

[Deleted]

Once bitten, twice shy. I think you'll always be a little jumpy now. But go to a psychiatrist for your mental state. You might also want to go to the gym and start taking martial arts classes too. They will help your confidence.

It's difficult to gauge how people react to such incidents, some engage in extremely risk averse behavior as a means of empowerment and confidence gaining, others are timid and develop social phobias, all of them need therapy; We humans sure are a tricky bunch though.

The comment on self-defense training is valid though, even if it's never used it will build confidence and physical health.

[Velaniz]

I get so pissed when I hear about hate attacks like these..

[dextersmith]

Hello all,

I was recently assaulted (four guys on two, hate-crime based) while out for a walk with my partner a few nights ago, which left me pretty banged up (broken nose/facial bones, significant facial and head bruising/swelling/pain, concussion). I've been trying to "get back on the horse" and go back into public, but every time I do, I get extremely anxious around other males (all the perpetrators were males in their mid-20s).

I was just wondering if anyone had similar experiences, if it was typical to feel this way (and for how long) and what helped achieve normalcy afterwards.

Thanks in advance!

I'm no specialist but, can you go out with a large group then decrease by 1 each time? Take self defense classes, and get therapy. Best wishes.

[Darkrulerxxx]

get a license to carry a concealed weapon, pepper-spray will work too. Next time anybody is about to attack you, you have your self-defense.

Take therapy too.