Sex on the first date

[Agartha]

that way I aren't disappointed.

People actually want to sleep with you after hearing you talk?

[Deleted]

It would truly suck to get married only to discover you aren't sexually compatible with your wife/husband.

Definite "compatible", as in my opinion every male is compatible with every female.

[Cover25]

That's why I feel communication is the most important thing in any relationship. It usually clears up any problem, especially something as simple as sexual compatibility. You learn what your lover wants by listening.


There's no set time-frame, just when it feels right to me. When I trust in my heart they are committed to me and only me.

I give, and you take. You give, and I take. We both get intimate memories and private moments that are uniquely ours.

I personally can't immediately trust someone. I might feel an attraction to someone immediately if we get along but I feel trust is something that should be earn, and that can only happen in time.

I can tell you are very inexperienced in sex.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Are you lacking the necessary equipment?

No, just don't think I know someone on the first date. Sorry ladies...in this thread.

[Reeve]

That's why I feel communication is the most important thing in any relationship. It usually clears up any problem, especially something as simple as sexual compatibility. You learn what your lover wants by listening.

Sexual incompatibility isn't an issue of mechanics. It's not a situation where you can just tell someone how to do it better.

[Deleted]

Right. Ever been on a 1st date and she is 'riding the red river'?

And yet still went down?

I call it a 'Vampire Oral'.

Had a manperiod once. Was proper going for it, hit my head on the headboard, nosebleed exploded. I think it made me at least a level 6 sex practicioner.

[Deleted]

I wouldn't have sex on a first date, no.

I've always waited until I was in a exclusive monogamous relationship with someone to have sex with them. I've always felt like when you give yourself to someone sexually, you lose just a bit of yourself to them every time it happens. I honestly wish I waited until marriage because I want all those intimate pieces of myself to belong to my husband and no one else. But I'm old fashioned like that.

Sex is just sex, why do people view it this way? The act itself is nothing special, you don't "lose little bits and pieces" of yourself when you have it.

Having said that, it's much more enjoyable when you love the one you do it with.

- - - Updated - - -

That's why I feel communication is the most important thing in any relationship. It usually clears up any problem, especially something as simple as sexual compatibility. You learn what your lover wants by listening.

"So honey I've been thinking about our sexual compatibility, I am wondering if you would enjoy it if I were to ejaculate onto your face?"

Some things are repulsive when said/asked but you find out you enjoy them in the heat of the moment.

[Mermaid]

Sexual incompatibility isn't an issue of mechanics. It's not a situation where you can just tell someone how to do it better.

Can you explain what you mean by being sexually compatible?

[Rukentuts]

Can you explain what you mean by being sexually compatible?

It's like porn. You can't describe it but when you got it, you know it.

[Lefrog]

I wouldn't have sex on a first date, no.

I've always waited until I was in a exclusive monogamous relationship with someone to have sex with them. I've always felt like when you give yourself to someone sexually, you lose just a bit of yourself to them every time it happens. I honestly wish I waited until marriage because I want all those intimate pieces of myself to belong to my husband and no one else. But I'm old fashioned like that.

Haven't waited, nor would I ever wait, but I actually can somewhat agree about the losing yourself bit. Kinda sucks when there is nothing new to experience together. Yes everything is still amazing and feels good, but how "special" is any of the kinky stuff when you've both already done it with multiple different partners.

Not to mention the difficulty of living up to your past sexual history. Try telling your boyfriend you were super into heavy bondage, but that's no longer you and you don't really want to do that with him and see how that goes in the long run.

"So honey I've been thinking about our sexual compatibility, I am wondering if you would enjoy it if I were to ejaculate onto your face?"

"I always hated when guys would do that."

Now what? Are you suppose to say its fine that every guy you've been with have done it, but since you don't enjoy it I won't do it lol

[Thandorr]

I hear all the time, "It would suck if you waited until marriage and found out you and your spouse are 'sexually incompatible.'"

I totally reject the idea that two people can be inherently incompatible. My wife and I are the only ones we have ever had sex with. I'm 23 and she's 20 and we got married in September 2013. The difference between having sex with only one person your entire life versus having sex with multiple partners is the connection between partners. My wife and I know each other in the most intimate way, but with one night stands and no exclusivity in partners, you don't get to that point.

Sex is a learned thing, not necessarily something that we are masters in at the first go. And when two people learn together and remain together, the sex is incredible far beyond meaningless and selfish sexual gratification found outside of marriage.

Two people can only be sexually incompatible when they negatively compare their partner with someone they have previously had sex with, which is counter-productive at best.

[Kalis]

I hear all the time, "It would suck if you waited until marriage and found out you and your spouse are 'sexually incompatible.'"

I totally reject the idea that two people can be inherently incompatible. My wife and I are the only ones we have ever had sex with. I'm 23 and she's 20 and we got married in September 2013. The different between having sex with only one person your entirely life versus having sex with multiple partners is the connection between partners. My wife and I know each other in the most intimate way, but with one night stands and no exclusivity in partners, you don't get to that point.

Sex is a learned thing, not necessarily something that we are masters in at the first go. And when two people learn together and remain together, the sex is incredible far beyond meaningless and selfish sexual gratification found outside of marriage.

Two people can only be sexually incompatible when they negatively compare their partner with someone they have previously had sex with, which is counter-productive at best.

How do you know all that if you and your wife have only ever had sex with each other? You might both be completely crap and only getting a small portion of the enjoyment out of it that more experienced people do.

[Deleted]

People actually want to sleep with you after hearing you talk?

Question: What warranted a personal attack?

[Reeve]

Can you explain what you mean by being sexually compatible?

Some people just fit together - Emotionally, physically, chemically. I've kissed girls who literally left me weak in the knees, and it didn't even have much to do with the mechanics of how they kissed. It was passion, chemistry, the whole package. Good communication can help with some of that, but it can't help with all of it, and you really don't know until you hop in bed with someone and try it out.

Some people, for example, might like something their partner simply can't stand, and because their partner doesn't enjoy it, even if they're willing to do it, it saps the pleasure from the experience. I have a friend who's completely incapable of puckering his lips, which might be OK with his wife, but I couldn't date a girl who couldn't work magic with her lips. There are lots of people who are completely incapable of displaying their passion. The passion is there, but it doesn't come out, and even though you might communicate to them that you want to SEE their passion, when they make that attempt, it rings hollow.

Sexual compatibility is about a whole range of things - things you don't necessarily even know that you want or need. Marrying someone sight-unseen is a recipe for finding yourself in a situation where you might care for the other person, but neither of you are ever fully satisfied, and may even be deeply unsatisfied. I'm sure that's been the impetus for a lot of illicit love affairs.

[Keyboard Champion]

Question: What warranted a personal attack?

It's the Internet.

[Eleytwun]

I wouldn't have sex on a first date, no.

I've always waited until I was in a exclusive monogamous relationship with someone to have sex with them. I've always felt like when you give yourself to someone sexually, you lose just a bit of yourself to them every time it happens. I honestly wish I waited until marriage because I want all those intimate pieces of myself to belong to my husband and no one else. But I'm old fashioned like that.

My answer to the main question: I don't know, if I weren't married I don't know how I would handle that situation. But if I did or didn't, it's no one else's business, you know? People care too much about how other people have sex.

That said, I really want to address this. I understand your views, I've lived them in fact. However, looking back on my teenage years and being told exactly what you've said, "you lose a bit of yourself"... it took a while for me to realize how damaging that was for me. I'm not something that can be broken into pieces or used up. I'm a human being. And so are you. If you want to wait until marriage, that's 100% your choice and I (and everyone else should) respect it because it's your body. However, I completely disagree that you lose anything when you have sex (sure, even virginity since there's no consensus on the definition of it anyway). Sex shouldn't make you feel guilty or less worthy of love or whatever. A person's value isn't based on how or when or with whom or why they have sex.

[Deleted]

I hear all the time, "It would suck if you waited until marriage and found out you and your spouse are 'sexually incompatible.'"

I totally reject the idea that two people can be inherently incompatible. My wife and I are the only ones we have ever had sex with. I'm 23 and she's 20 and we got married in September 2013. The difference between having sex with only one person your entire life versus having sex with multiple partners is the connection between partners. My wife and I know each other in the most intimate way, but with one night stands and no exclusivity in partners, you don't get to that point.

Sex is a learned thing, not necessarily something that we are masters in at the first go. And when two people learn together and remain together, the sex is incredible far beyond meaningless and selfish sexual gratification found outside of marriage.

Two people can only be sexually incompatible when they negatively compare their partner with someone they have previously had sex with, which is counter-productive at best.

No offence but how do you know that when you yourself admit you never experienced it

[Deleted]

It's like porn. You can't describe it but when you got it, you know it.

Oh yeah... I've been there once. I didn't fall in love with that girl (she's sort of a booty call now but whatever) but something just went "click". A quote form Tyler Durden sums up what happend next pretty well "This is sport-fucking"

[Reeve]

"I always hated when guys would do that."

Now what? Are you suppose to say its fine that every guy you've been with have done it, but since you don't enjoy it I won't do it lol

My last girlfriend told me she used to do anal occasionally, but prefers vaginal sex. That perked up my ears for curiosity's sake, but I never did get her to let me try it.

[Sugarpuff]

That would drive me nuts. Honestly, if the girl doesn't feel connected with me enough by the 4th or 5th date, my thoughts are that it's probably not going to be much fun anyway.

It's not that I wasn't connected, I liked him and we had mutual interests. It's hard to explain, but the bottom line is if you're a guy and things are going good, why not wait and see what'll happen? Lol, he even told me (jokingly, but I'm sure he was serious), that if something didn't happen soon that he would ask if I even liked him that way. I'm glad he was patient because I can't stand impatience. Imo it kept him coming back for more instead of getting everything over and done with. How boring.