Anyone else just can't enjoy "going out" most of the time?

[KungFuFanta]

You know when a bunch of people ask you to go somewhere, doesn't matter if it's work colleagues, friends, people you may just have met somewhere, and you go there and you just kind of not want to be there for most of the time?

Say at a restaurant, and you kind of sit there and listen to people talk and make jokes about innuendos and whatever and stuff that is kind of funny but isn't that funny and they talk about life problems but it's just the same old thing you've heard before and that everyone who has ever lived before had.

And you want to sort of chime in but it feels like everything you're about to say has been said before and it's just so goddamn obvious it's not even worth saying out loud?

I don't know, whenever I go out with people I just can't seem to find any enjoyment to it, compared to reading a good book, watching a good movie, playing a good game.

Like if it's a group activity like paintball, or theme park, or go carting, that can actually be fun as hell, but most of the time people just seem to want to meet and stand around talking, or stand down talking, and talking...and talking...and talking. Like you go to a party and people hold beers, and talking...no one's busting moves, no one's having an intellectual conversation about anything, just talking about random tidbits of random things.

I don't know, I've been like this ever since I was a kid, I just can't enjoy being somewhere and just standing there doing nothing but listening to inane things. Maybe I'm just being a pretentious asshole, but is there anyone else who experiences the same thing?

[Spraxle]

I understand what you're saying. Though you can always say no to going out. Myself I find conversations break out and they split the group into the people who work together and the people who don't. Meaning if you don't work with them you won't get any of their conversation. It's like a way of saying go away in a group setting. But I don't leave the house for anything but school and work now. I removed all of my 'facebook friends' and am like a step away from removing all contacts from my phone. So I really do get it OP.

Going out always sounds like it'll be fun. A chance to get away. But it's always more of a bullshit hassle then anything else. Just reminds you how alone you are.

[Nihilan]

Be the guy who starts busting a move. Be the guy who starts the intellectual conversation.

But yes, i also find social gatherings to be very tedious most of the time. I have a small group of 30-40 year old manchildren friends who are all as immature as i am and they are really the only people i can stand to be around in a social setting. Most 'normal' people are just so very boring.

[Gamdwelf]

ITT: " Am I the only introvert out there? Feels like it because I have no social interaction with anybody because I'm introverted."

[belfpala]

Why are you so important that other people's things are "inane" things?

[Deleted]

It's never an issue because I got a huge list of things I don't do or don't do with others.. sports/exercise (only do it on my own, wear headphones and "tune out", I've always hated group physical activities), eating (I only drink alcohol while out and don't want to eat anything because it makes it difficult to count the calories and nutrients in the food not to mention it has to be vegetarian), tanning (not going to ruin my skin with that)..

So there aren't that many things left and when I go out, I do enjoy it..

[Televators]

It seems more like you're uninterested in the people you're with rather than the situation. I don't like "going out" either and after years of pretending, I just don't go. I don't know how old you are, but I'm 38 and well past the age where I give a shit about pleasing other people before myself. But what I will say is that I still love social interaction, but with very select friends with whom I can have great conversation and/or comfortable silence. Maybe look into narrowing the field of friends you allow to get very close to you.

[Kujako]

"out" is were the spiders are, why go there?

[Gamdwelf]

"out" is were the spiders are, why go there?

In is also where spiders are, spiders are everywhere.

[Reeve]

Talking is fun when you're talking with the right people. Otherwise it's god awful and boring as hell.

[Tziva]

I'm introverted so I'm a bit picky about the people and circumstances during which I enjoy going out, but honestly this sounds more like a problem with the people you spend time with than the activities. Find people who want to talk about the things you like to talk about, or do activities you think are fun. Social time doesn't have to be standing around making small talk endlessly.

Honestly, if you think the people you're spending time with are boring and their interests are inane, they probably aren't enjoying hanging out with you anymore than you like hanging out with them. It's better off for the both of you if you just stop.

[Sledfang]

Do you see people as big phony bastards?

[Devboy]

OP, I'm 100% of what you described.

There's often drinks a few times a week after work, or random meet ups or some other stuff, but generally, unless its something I will personally enjoy, I'm not going to bother. I very much enjoy my space and personal time, and can spend hours on my own without even thinking twice.

I think perhaps your looking at it as if somethings wrong with you, and that you shouldn't feel that way, but this is something you have to decide for yourself. I accept that this is who I am as a person, and I'm perfectly happy being so introverted.

[kamikaze148]

Dude I can guarantee the majority of people deep down are actually like this. Even the ones you tout as the supposed average, and having the inane conversations are probably, at least to some degree are thinking the same thing on some level deep down.

Alot of people talk about inane shit, because its accessible, and easy to talk about in a large group of people without the pressure of being judged, you feel accepted within a group of people if what you are talking about is a topic that everyone can relate to. Intellectual topics of discussion usually CAN come about after the inital ice-breaking conversations have died down. Also, it entirely depends on the setting of where these people are.

I cant really imagine a group of people being all that willing to discuss the nature of the universe, or quantum mechanics after a round of paintball for example, but might be open to discussions at a small party etc.

Even people who seem so socially active and extroverted, are alot of the time insecure and have to really try to be extroverted and "out there", its not just you. I'm the same, i prefer spending my nights at home with my small social circle than out and about, i cbf people 90 percent of the time, but find the happy balance in those people I do enjoy spending time with, namely my best friends who also like the same things i like, and my girlfriend.

Also last minute final note, this is an MMORPG forum for World of Warcraft, im pretttttyyyy sure the majority of us are quite introverted anyway. :P

[-Gr-]

You sir, are an introvert! Like most introverts, we don't understand how the majority of people, friends, and family can go out and it not be boring or tiring to the soul. It's perfectly fine. You're not weird or too awkward of a human being, you just like to keep to yourself and do different, more meaningful things to you. It's your time on this earth and why not spend it reading and playing games if it's what makes you happy? Some people like to sky dive, and I like to dive in my bed and read. I happen to think that I'm actually having more fun, because I could go sky diving in my own bedroom or hop on Dishonored and throw some bodies to the rats. We aren't weird, we're just a little misunderstood. My girlfriend is the same way. She and I both need our space and we give it almost exactly when we need it.

[KungFuFanta]

I think your just an introvert, and have issues with small talk. Join the club, I think this forum has a majority of introverts in the same situation.

Accept it, and move on.

I cannot small talk at all. I come off awkward. Especially with people I do not know well. However if it's the right topic, and something meaningful, I am fully engaged, and actually enjoy it.

Yep, that's pretty much me in a nutshell.

Thanks for all the replies though everyone, I read them all. It makes a lot of sense what you're all saying, except the person who pointed out that spiders also live on the inside of homes, I don't know why you would say something so upsetting.

[Zenotetsuken]

I am the same way for the most part. The only person I actually hang out with or do anything with is my friend of 20 years. Even at that I won't really go anywhere other than just hanging out over at his house. He knows better than to ask me if I want to go out and do something, because the answer is the same as it has been for 20 years, no. Once in awhile he tries to get me to go out to the movies, but he only wants to go on like the day the movie comes out for some stupid reason. I tell him "If you wait a month I will go with you. That way there will be no one in the theater to piss me off, and I can relax.", but he never waits, so I never watch movies in the theater lol. The last movie I saw in the theater was the first Thor, and before that was 28 Days Later.

So I feel you OP, I can't stand being around people either. Whenever people at my work try to start a conversation I just tell them "Sorry, I am running late, I have to go." when what I really want to say is "Sorry, you really aren't interesting to me. I'm going to leave now." IDK, it is just kind of this disconnect with people. I generally see people more as insects; always buzzing around and in my face annoying me.

[Tziva]

Guys. Guys. Guys. Wait. Guys. Spiders are cute.

Especially those fat, fuzzy jumping ones.

[kamikaze148]

I generally see people more as insects; always buzzing around and in my face annoying me.

This quote both horrifies me, and makes me agree whole heartedly. hahaha.

Well said. Yeah Im currently studying and have a part time hospitality job to pay the bills, so 90 percent of the time im in the kitchen doing my thing not being bothered, but the 10 percent of the time that i have to deal with customers and other people i generally tend to steadily overflow with impatience and rage at the banality and idiocy of most people.

[icausewipes]

I wonder how much of this "alone time" can be tied to the internet? If Al Gore never hit his head on the bathroom sink and invented the internet, then maybe we all could not get our social fix from the web.