Do you feel bad to spend your time gaming while in a relationship?

[Captain N]

I'm really confused as to why people have to give up a part of themselves when they're with another human being. Are you so full of self-loathing that you're willing to compromise yourself just to avoid being alone? Do you think that other person doesn't have their own hobbies and the desire to engage in their own leisure activities? Someone earlier posted that you have to be honest with a potential relationship, but I think it goes beyond that and you have to be honest with yourself.

No person wants to spend every waking minute with their partner. I love my wife dearly and I enjoy the time we spend together but I also enjoy the time I have to myself. I'm not going to give up the hobby I've had since I was 6 (I'm 36 now) just because she isn't a gamer. She'll use the time I'm doing my gaming to look up recipes on Pinterest, watch Supernatural on Netflix, or read. I wouldn't ask her to stop doing those things because that's what she did before we were together, and to even suggest it would be morally wrong.

Just be honest to yourself and to your partner. Never compromise who you are for anyone else.

[Stonecloak]

I'm really confused as to why people have to give up a part of themselves when they're with another human being. Are you so full of self-loathing that you're willing to compromise yourself just to avoid being alone? Do you think that other person doesn't have their own hobbies and the desire to engage in their own leisure activities? Someone earlier posted that you have to be honest with a potential relationship, but I think it goes beyond that and you have to be honest with yourself.

No person wants to spend every waking minute with their partner. I love my wife dearly and I enjoy the time we spend together but I also enjoy the time I have to myself. I'm not going to give up the hobby I've had since I was 6 (I'm 36 now) just because she isn't a gamer. She'll use the time I'm doing my gaming to look up recipes on Pinterest, watch Supernatural on Netflix, or read. I wouldn't ask her to stop doing those things because that's what she did before we were together, and to even suggest it would be morally wrong.

Just be honest to yourself and to your partner. Never compromise who you are for anyone else.

It's different for people like you and I who are married, and sometimes well off. For a younger couple I can see concerns for the future. Of course you don't want to take somebody's hobby away, but for example if they play 12 hours a day and don't pay attention to responsibilities. Then that may be a concern.

[lacorpse]

I met my husband playing WoW. We met when I was 19 in 2009 while in Naxx. I was the healer and he was the tank, it was love at first pull.

I love that he is a gamer. I don't give him shit for playing games, specially when hes spending time with the boys. I think all women who over react about gaming are insecure and think that their men love gaming MORE than them, which is not true. Gaming is a pass time like watching TV or playing candy crush on your phone lol.

I wouldn't wan't to date some one who didn't game because then they wouldn't get me and why I spend the time I do on the computer.

As a female gamer, when I dated guys/girls (yes, girls) who didn't game I got accused of all sorts of things like cheating on them with the friends I play online with, and how I had to choose "The game or them". I'm so glad I have a husband who knows what gaming is like and when I say "I'm going to fuck you in the ass" while pvping, it does not mean I'm going to run over to some one's house and have real life sex. *face palm*

[Jordaen]

I met my boyfriend on WoW. We've been living together for almost 5 years now. There are some nights where we'll play together all night and other times where he's playing CS:GO and I'm playing Sims. Our relationship revolves around games. Obviously we do go out to a movie occasionally or we'll watch a tv series together (Game of Thrones, Trueblood, blah blah). The same goes for almost all of our friends irl. We play with most of them in games and even when one comes over of if we go over to their house, it's expected for us to take turns on the wii or to let someone who didn't have the beta for hearthstone play it for a few hours.

I couldn't imagine being in a relationship where I wasn't "allowed" to play a game when I wanted. I would never tell my boyfriend to quit playing games and come spend time with me, except when our baby arrives in January. We both plan to take time off of hardcore gaming (no raiding, probably no timed things like greater rifts in d3 or hearthstone games) to focus on the new addition to our family. However, once we've got a routine established we'll both get game time in while the other is on baby duty, assuming we're not too tired

[Deleted]

When I was in my raiding guild years ago, there was this guy who was working as a nurse at a hospital and had a gf and kid with her, they weren't married. He was very arrogant, never liked him.

He was always complaining his gf wants to go places and he wants to play wow. Some time later he announced he was with this new girl that was invited into the guild at his request and she was also playing wow. He became ever more arrogant with her in the raid, like he was acting like an alpha male and soon his presence was no longer welcome and he left the guild with his gf anyway saying we're noobs.

Dunno what happened after.

[Eurydemus]

Not really. Granted, I've given up on WoW (and MMOs in general) these days, so there's no, "Honey, I'm going to be killing dragons from six to 10 p.m. four nights a week" anymore, but I've never once felt bad for enjoying my hobby. She understands and is happy to have time to herself, too. We share a home office with our desks facing each other. I'll play whatever and she usually keeps me company and surfs the web or streams movies and shows when the kids are in bed or the little monsters are off playing quietly.

But, in all honesty, there's a fair bit of planning involved and keeping priorities straight. We're both career and family-oriented and worked (and continue to work) hard to create/maintain a comfortable lifestyle for ourselves and our children. There's no reason to feel bad about indulging in gaming - or any hobby for that matter - as long as you know other things have to come first.

[Tommy T]

never even kissed a girl before

- - - Updated - - -

or talked to one, I'm 30 btw.

You're a wizard!

[Kezotar]

wat?
i play
i have a girlfriend
i dont feel bad

why would i?

- - - Updated - - -

people that date via wow
kek

honestly, wow out of all places.
"Oh, can anyone confirm if grils that play vg or girls that date via vg are usually chubbier than normal grils?"

[Independent voter]

Here's an idea, take your wife on a WoW date. Get her in game, show her the sights, get her a virtual present.

Even if she hates it, she'll have a story to tell her friends.

[Icathian]

Nope, my wife is a gamer and she plays most games with me :P

If you're a hardcore gamer and don't want to change your lifestyle, just find someone who share the same interests than you.
I've heard horrible stories from guildies and other friends about girls that just do not support them gaming and give them a lot of nasty problems because of it, it can easily tear through your relationship.

This idea that the only girls that play games are fat nerds is bs. Games, smartphones, technology in general is becoming more and more part of everyone's lives, the stereotype of the girl being the dumb person who don't know the difference between a tv and a microwave is fading away. Specially if you look at popular games like LoL, I've lost count at how many 18-22yo girls I've seen in that game alone.

[Beej]

...................

[Kezotar]

For me everything is about time management. If I am going to play on my computer its because I scheduled time to do so, my girl knows it helps me unwind. I work full time and go to school full time so my entire life is a game of time management.

How whippd are most of you guys that you need a reason to play?

[Deleted]

Nope. I have my hobbies, she has hers. We have a couple of hobbies in common which we do together and then some we do apart. My gaming has only been an issue with girlfriends who don't have anything to do on their own, in which case that says more about them than it does me.

[Captain N]

How whipped are most of you guys that you need a reason to play?

Fixed your spelling error and that word doesn't mean what you think it means.

[Icathian]

How whippd are most of you guys that you need a reason to play?

Uh, some people play games as a way to relax and take their minds away from rl stuff.

[Kezotar]

Fixed your spelling error and that word doesn't mean what you think it means.

Still seems that you got it just right

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whipped
Oh and slang bro

Uh, some people play games as a way to relax and take their minds away from rl stuff.

I never said anything against that, just seems like you actually need a "reason" from your girls to play.

BWHAHAH

[Deletedaccount1]

You're 30 now though?

Not yet, I'm 29.

[Radio]

Any healthy relationship requires that both parties have time to pursue their interests regardless of whether they are fully aligned with one another or not. It may be gaming, it may be a tennis club, it may be volunteer work on the weekends, reading, amateur acting, etc. What's important is that these interests are established from the outset, and that a balance is kept. You want to be able to commit to your relationship, your career and/or study, your interests, financials, kids, or whatever with appropriate levels of balance and priority. Sure, hobbies/interests in general are fairly low priority but it's important that you try and work something out because there's nothing worse than having no time for your interests at all.

Fuck, anyone who has been a gamer in a single-parent household (or any household that expects their kids to participate) has probably had a trial run of this kind of arrangement with their parents. Over the years before I moved out I had to slowly establish boundaries and rules with my mother to make sure that I could enjoy what I enjoyed outside of study/work while still helping out to a satisfactory level. Things like internet gaming, raiding and such took a bit of a teething process but she eventually understood and we learnt how to work around it.

Mutual compromise and balance is key. That person you enter a relationship with has a particular perspective, interests, etc that make up who they are, and the same goes for you.

[Garkanh]

well, i've been with my girlfriend for 2½ years now. played when i met her, and i still play. ofcourse she have been pissed a few times when i just sat there playing while she was laying in the bed (i almost always light a cigaret and play for a few minutes after sex, it's almost a ritual for me), but other than that, i feel like i'm okay at giving her time, instead of the computer.

now ofcourse, she just moved to spain for a year (and i live in Denmark), so i will have a lot of time to play...

ofcourse it's her birthday the same day as WoD launches, so i won't be able to play that for the first few days since i'm flying down to visit her there... so it can't be that bad if i am able to stop gaming at the best part of the year for her.

[Samurai]

I raid with my GF, works out well tbh