Ticked off at sister. Now what?

[Tyrillia]

Earlier this week on the dreaded Facebook (which I primarily use to keep up with gamer friends and family) I mentioned that my son was asleep but he was making noises. One of my gamer friends said that I was a bad mother for "putting him down". I laughed and responded with "Yea, put him down like a dog...or a monkey! Bwahahaha!" My son is mixed. I found the joke hilarious. My sister on the other hand typed "Self hate much?" I told her that just because a racist joke is racist doesn't make it unfunny.

Fast forward a few days.

My sister's wedding is coming up and like all bridezillas, she's losing a grip on her mind. She posts "I hate black people sometimes". I responded with "Self hate much?"

Now anyone else would see the funny/irony in this. No. Not my sister. This is what she typed:

"Uh..One I'm not ghetto..Two you constantly degrade black people in front of your honky friends making it seem that it's cool or something..In reality it makes you look dumb and makes them think its ok for them peckerwoods to make KKK jokes regarding niggers monkeys every goddamn racist thing else you think is funny..no matter how many mixed kids you have or how white you talk..they will always see you as a nigger boo boo.... ANYWAYS..As I was saying ghetto blacks with instant attitude especially when running a business..fuck you I'll take my business elsewhere til you learn fucking manners."

My boyfriend and I were completely dumbstruck by this. Then all that anger management went right out the window when I typed:

"Wow. You have such a horrible attitude. Sorry you have such a sad outlook on people and life. Have fun in your misery. And don't bother responding as I will not be looking at anything you write."

I have not looked at any other posts from her.

She looks at me as some sort of racist because I don't hang around other black people and I don't find black men attractive. What she isnt taking into consideration is that I don't like people in general and I have nothing in common with most black females. Why would I hang out with people I have nothing to bond with? And I just find white guys to be more attractive. Sue me. And I'm a gamer. I make racist jokes of all races and sexist jokes all the time. Its why I was with my bf. He has the same mentality when we met playing WoW.

My bf doesn't even want to go now and doesn't want her to see our son. This would be the first time since he was born that he would see the brown part of his family. (Yes, I bet she would get upset with me saying that.)

Now the situation is that in less than a week I'm supposed to be going up to KC for her wedding. I don't want to go now. I'd go just to visit family and friends. She bought the ticket so it would seem like a dick move to actually do that. And I was supposed to be staying at her house with my bf and son. I'm still a bit upset (obviously as I'm posting this) but should I suck it up and text her and see if I still have tickets and a place to stay or should I just stay at a friends house? (Calling her has never been a real option. She barely picks up the phone and doesn't listen to any messages. You have a 70% chance of getting a response from texting her but a 98% chance if you do it through Facebook.)

[durrtygoodz]

I don't like monkeys much either

[Deleted]

in the words of Jesus himself:

"My son, I'm not going near this one with a 40ft barge pole"

[moremana]

I thought it was funny. I would go, she's probably having breakdown issues with the wedding and all.

Remember this, friends, BF, lovers will come and go, family is for life. Get past it and be there for her wedding, you can't go back in time and change what has transpired, missing her wedding and not being there for her will be a big regret later.

[Reeve]

Bridezillas gonna bridezilla. My sister was nuts when she had her baby. When people are under stress they act nuts. Leave it alone, be happy for your sister, and if she can't get past it in a few months, then maybe you have a legitimate issue.

[Crissi]

Some realitives just arent worth the time. Probably best to avoid her until she gets through the stress.

Also, stress really isnt a good reason to bridezilla. Its just an excuse to be a bitch.

[Deleted]

You're definitely not in the wrong here, i have a rather morbid and offensive sense of humor; So much so other family members find it atrocious i can laugh at little Timmy drooling in his wheelchair.

My advice is to just tip-toe around her, she might genuinely dislike that you "Abandoned" black men and sees your humor as a slap in the face (Even when its contrary to her perceived insults), i've heard of similar things where families much prefer to date within their own race but have never encountered irl.

As for the wedding, i'd definitely stay around a friends and attend, that's just me going full blown damage limitation in case things do occur that would make her stomp around and act like godzilla.

Tl;Dr You're right, your humor rocks, your family member(s) are slightly racist and pretty ready to explode at any perceived insult.

[Deleted]

Stop being a cunt on social networks? Sure your retort was somewhat witty, do you however think it was what your sister needed at that time?

[Tyrillia]

Stop being a cunt on social networks? Sure your retort was somewhat witty, do you however think it was what your sister needed at that time?

Normally I don't respond to her posts because they are 90 percent negative. I just posted because I thought she would get that I repeated what I said. I was wrong. Then I let her push my buttons and responded when I should've kept my mouth shut. Believe me, what I typed to her was far less profane than what I was originally going to send.

Then again, I know my sister is a drama llama so I should kept my mouth closed.

- - - Updated - - -

You're definitely not in the wrong here, i have a rather morbid and offensive sense of humor; So much so other family members find it atrocious i can laugh at little Timmy drooling in his wheelchair.

My advice is to just tip-toe around her, she might genuinely dislike that you "Abandoned" black men and sees your humor as a slap in the face (Even when its contrary to her perceived insults), i've heard of similar things where families much prefer to date within their own race but have never encountered irl.

As for the wedding, i'd definitely stay around a friends and attend, that's just me going full blown damage limitation in case things do occur that would make her stomp around and act like godzilla.

Tl;Dr You're right, your humor rocks, your family member(s) are slightly racist and pretty ready to explode at any perceived insult.

Tip toe sounds like a good idea. Get there and get it over with.

Funny thing about black men...she has a mixed kid of her own and is marrying a white guy. And she used to go to racist joke websites all the time and laugh. Not sure what changed. She's always been a little off and self medicating I believe isn't working. When I call her a bridezilla I mean she actually snapped at me. She's always had a piss poor attitude about life and people. This is just the first time shes turned her guns to me. I just assume shes stressed from the wedding (that no one believes she should have. But thats another story.) But knowing that doesnt make her words any less offensive and hurtful.

[Independent voter]

This is why women keep men around. You guy should say something like 'Tyrillia, you're making too big a deal over this.'

[Tyrillia]

This is why women keep men around. You guy should say something like 'Tyrillia, you're making too big a deal over this.'

From two male perspectives, the bf got mad. My brother is all about zen and harmony so he was like just let it go. But with what I said to her, even if i let it go, will she? And how would I approach her to know if she cancelled the tickets or if she's picking me up and all that jazz. She can hold a grudge and has already told a third of the people going to her wedding to not even show.

[Soisoisoi]

This is why women keep men around. You guy should say something like 'Tyrillia, you're making too big a deal over this.'

So men are the sacrifice? 'cos they might as well be dead after getting their balls chopped off for disagreeing with the SO.

[Auxis]

I'm anti-social, so if it were up to me, I wouldn't go to huge family events like weddings unless I'm forced to (I know, I'm a dick).

Can you call your parent's or someone who would know how your sister is and ask how she's feeling about the whole situation?

[Tyrillia]

I'm anti-social, so if it were up to me, I wouldn't go to huge family events like weddings unless I'm forced to (I know, I'm like a dick).

Can you call your parent's or someone who would know how your sister is and ask how she's feeling about the whole situation?

When I called my mother later that day she was completely shocked by my sisters statement because that morning when they were running errands she had been complaining about all white people. Our family isn't super close and contacting my sister via phone is pretty much impossible. Found out my sister has to smoke weed before speaking to our mom. Said she makes her anxious. My mom as she has gotten older does not stop talking at 50mph but nothing as bad as she is making it out to be. So when she needs to inform mom about anything, she goes through our other sister. That in turn is irritating that sister because she doesn't like being the middle man for everything.

[Stop Pretending]

Why are you guys bringing your personal business/dirty laundry to a social network?

Grow up and talk to each other like mature adults.

I never quite understood the fascination with airing out dirty laundry over facebook. Granted it's hilarious looking in from the outside, but god damn people.

[Tyrillia]

Why are you guys bringing your personal business/dirty laundry to a social network?

Grow up and talk to each other like mature adults.

For Facebook? Yea, I know better as I used to sit back and watch the disaster unfold. She just happened to push the right buttons at the right time. On this site? I usually sit back and read other people and most seem to have pretty level heads. They are far from the situation so I figure they are better apt at giving an unbias (or close to it) opinion. Most of my friends are gamers and when I moved it was just my bf and his family here. Family is too close to this as they all have the opinion that she isn't all there in the head, so asking them for advice is not very constructive.

[Deleted]

I sort of hate my brother for similar reasons. Hes basically a beach bum, 30, no job.. still in college (lol), yet hes racist, judges everyone and lives off our parents. You cant really reason with people like that, just ignore her.

[Tyrillia]

I'd suggest, that next time you have an issue with your sister, you discuss said issues in person or over the phone. Mature adults discuss things in a civilized manner. Even if your sister is "not right in the head" or immature, it doesn't mean you have to be on the same level and engage in a "tit for tat" fight over Facebook.

Again, grow up and speak to her like an adult - even if she can't and(or) won't.

She almost never picks up the phone. She will answer texts and FB messages but not the phone. Even regarding a plane ticket it took forever to get her on the phone.

I will try to get her on the phone as typing things to her seems to have been taken out of context. Even texting her to call me is pretty iffy. I guess trying won't hurt. Saying be the better person and doing it can be difficult sometimes.

But like all stories, there are three sides to it.

[Slant]

My sister's wedding is coming up and like all bridezillas, she's losing a grip on her mind. She posts "I hate black people sometimes". I responded with "Self hate much?"

That alone tells me there's a bit of a history, as usual between siblings. It's a dick move to hate on her on some anonymous internet forum. Talk to her or grow up.

And don't expect anything constructive from a thread like this.

[Pengalor]

in the words of Jesus himself:

"My son, I'm not going near this one with a 40ft barge pole"

"And the Lord looked at it and it was a good idea."