would the movie "the Bible" by Michael Bay be any good?

[tibben]

There's an error in the title. It should be: Would a movie by Michael Bay be any good?

^

And the answer would, of course, be no.

[Gheld]

How many explosions are in the Bible?

Quite a few actually.

Random explosions, awkward dialogue, inappropriate sex scenes, veiled racism.

The founders of Abrahamic tradition knew of the coming of Michael Bay.

[Kaleredar]

The new testament seems to have a noticeable dearth of explosions.

Also, it would provide a challenge for him to fit an american flag in every other shot for something that generally takes place in the middle east 4,000-2,000 years before the US existed.


Also Also... no.

[Gheld]

Do you seriously think it could be worse than that Jesus Christ Superstar movie where the roman centurions were walking around with guns? Because it has set the bar pretty high.

Hey.... Hey... whoa... That was a great musical. It had this artistic counter-cultural twist on the story of Jesus. It wasn't about Jesus, it was about Judas. And I'm not one for all that religious stuff, but Andrew Fucking Lloyd Webber. that is all.

[zorkuus]

Also, it would provide a challenge for him to fit an american flag in every other shot for something that generally takes place in the middle east 4,000-2,000 years before the US existed.

Don't worry about that. There's already quite a big potential market in the US who think Jesus is an american.

[Wildtree]

Sure, if it's as historically inaccurate as possible. Not hard given the source material though, Michael bay or not.

mhmmm

I see you guys understand me..

[Daedius]

Leaked clip of the movie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkZ4Ui8izKk

[zealo]

The new testament seems to have a noticeable dearth of explosions.

Also, it would provide a challenge for him to fit an american flag in every other shot for something that generally takes place in the middle east 4,000-2,000 years before the US existed.


Also Also... no.

It wouldn't take place in the middle east. Just move Jesus into a western looking modern town and fill it with guns, explosions and bombs.

[Wildtree]

Don't worry about that. There's already quite a big potential market in the US who think Jesus is an american.

Anything, and everything mythical and mystical always leads to the US.. or North America at least..

Currently watching the second season of "The Curse of Oak Island". That's in Canada (New Scotia).
At the moment, the newest lead are Knights Templar carried a treasure that could include the Holy Grail, and or Arch of the Covenant,
from Salomon's temple to the island in the 1300s.... Means before Columbus set foot on the Americas.
Means, once again... something of importance would be on American soil.. lol

[Kaleredar]

Leaked clip of the movie:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkZ4Ui8izKk

I prefer the Tarantino Version:

[cubby]

How many explosions are in the Bible?

He would have somehow found a way for many things to explode - even if explosive things hadn't been invented then. God would find a way.

Honestly though, the Bible is a great book of stories. If done right, it could be a very nice epic story - but it would take more than one movie. Sort of like Band of Brothers.

[Kaleredar]

Anything, and everything mythical and mystical always leads to the US.. or North America at least..

Currently watching the second season of "The Curse of Oak Island". That's in Canada (New Scotia).
At the moment, the newest lead are Knights Templar carried a treasure that could include the Holy Grail, and or Arch of the Covenant,
from Salomon's temple to the island in the 1300s.... Means before Columbus set foot on the Americas.
Means, once again... something of importance would be on American soil.. lol

We'll get the Assassins right on that.

[Rukentuts]

He would have somehow found a way for many things to explode - even if explosive things hadn't been invented then. God would find a way.

Honestly though, the Bible is a great book of stories. If done right, it could be a very nice epic story - but it would take more than one movie. Sort of like Band of Brothers.

In terms of Bible stories, I still like the old original testament mini series that I'm totally blanking on the title to be the best.

[zealo]

He would have somehow found a way for many things to explode - even if explosive things hadn't been invented then. God would find a way.

Honestly though, the Bible is a great book of stories. If done right, it could be a very nice epic story - but it would take more than one movie. Sort of like Band of Brothers.

Seriously though, it could turn out decent if some company like HBO gave the green light for such a project for a TV series about it with an actual budget behind it, that is without Michael Bay.

[Wildtree]

If Ridley Scott can do it... Bay can do it in his sleep.

[Kaleredar]

In terms of Bible stories, I still like the old original testament mini series that I'm totally blanking on the title to be the best.

Was that the one where Satan looked like Obama?

[Feel The Power]

only if jesus got to bone mary magdalene

and then she blew up, and then the explosion blew up.

[Rukentuts]

Was that the one where Satan looked like Obama?

Nah, I'm talking the one from the 70s or something.

Edit: And in terms of movies, this one was the best I've seen.

[Independent voter]

He did the transformers movies. What could go wrong?

[Wildtree]

Seriously though, it could turn out decent if some company like HBO gave the green light for such a project for a TV series about it with an actual budget behind it, that is without Michael Bay.

HBO helming the Bible? That would be hilarious to watch....
So many tits and dicks to be weaved into the story... Juicy.