If a significant other said they might cheat on you

[palladish]

I'm assuming you're talking about a closed relationship. In which case no one should ever stay after hearing that the other is untrustworthy and if they do they're most likely weak/desperate

[PizzaSHARK]

Proper boyfriend and girlfriend is closed, correct.

Well... no. That's a closed relationship, but an open relationship doesn't mean that they aren't girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife or whatever.

Again: do you understand what an open relationship is? What it means?

[Evil Inside]

Depends on context, however I'd be forced to take a good look at our relationship to decide whether I still wanna be with this person. Getting cheated on doesn't feel good and I wouldn't wanna go through that crap.

[PACOX]

If its a real relationship then its a deal breaker for me because obviously you don't feel the same way that I feel about you if the possibly of cheating is even a thing. I'm not one for being unfaithful, at all. If you want to see other people then let me know, its not cheating if you're in an open relationship - don't waste my time if we're supposed to be steady.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Duu_8Ic18EY

[MatadorMedia]

I had a girl that I hooked up with, and she was cheating on her boyfriend. Later down the road her & I were both single and got together in a relationship, but she was always texting other dudes and I'm like bitch I can't trust you I already know you cheat because it was with me. Bye.

[PizzaSHARK]

I had a girl that I hooked up with, and she was cheating on her boyfriend. Later down the road her & I were both single and got together in a relationship, but she was always texting other dudes and I'm like bitch I can't trust you I already know you cheat because it was with me. Bye.

Wait, you knew she had a boyfriend and was using you to cheat on him, and you slept with her anyway? :-/

[Deleted]

Well... no. That's a closed relationship, but an open relationship doesn't mean that they aren't girlfriend/boyfriend or husband/wife or whatever.

Again: do you understand what an open relationship is? What it means?

Well they can tell themselves whatever they want.

[PizzaSHARK]

Well they can tell themselves whatever they want.

lol

It's possible to love someone and be committed to them emotionally and still have sex with others.

[Deleted]

lol

It's possible to love someone and be committed to them emotionally and still have sex with others.

Correct. GG

[Kafkaesque]

Run as fast as you can.

[Thelxi]

Absolutely a dealbreaker for me. Why be with me if you have other plans. Nope.

[PizzaSHARK]

Correct. GG

Then what're you getting all squirrelly about open relationships for?

[Jester Joe]

Absolutely a dealbreaker for me. Why be with me if you have other plans. Nope.

I have to agree. I'd rather not be with someone who doesn't consider me good enough for them.

Not saying I'm amazing, but I'm definitely not going to be treated like a toy.

[Stonecloak]

Well they can tell themselves whatever they want.

Open relationships do exists. It's not a delusional thing. Just for people who don't like getting tied down I guess. Definitely not for me, but it's not wrong I suppose.

[Thychiz]

Imo sex is just a happy bonus in relationships. I never get into one purely for it, because that only ever leads to these sorts of thoughts. Yes it would be a deal breaker, If it was a fairly lengthy relationship worth salvaging / or feelings were rather strong i'd have a go at talking it out - but most cases I'd just end it there and then. You don't need somebody like that, even if you think you love them.
Though in a way you have to respect the honesty of them actually coming to you and telling you, rather than just doing it, but still.

[Yvaelle]

I actually did have this situation once - I went to lunch with a friend from highschool and we ended up flirting - so at the end of the meal we were chatting about what a relationship between us might look like, and she suggested she wanted the right to sleep with others (specifically one guy she had a crush on but who had a girlfriend of his own at the time), but she seemed convinced our relationship should otherwise be mono-amourous.

I ended up turning down her offer just because of how bizarre a double standard that was, and because I wasn't comfortable with her plan to try convince her friend to cheat with her. We had always had a weird relationship - we had great conversations but had never been attracted to one another in highschool (even though everyone thought we must be sleeping together), we cheated on a test together (I did her math final, she did my french final), and we had previously (shortly after highschool) tried to write a movie script together.

The movie script ended when she came back with ~20 pages of work to our next meeting and it seemed fishy to me - so I googled some of her lines, and found she had stolen the entire 20 pages verbatim from an old movie - but had tried to pass off the work as her own: even when I confronted her about it ("Oh I had no idea, I've never seen that movie!" )

So, despite us being very close platonic friends in highschool, and despite us finding a new shared attraction years later - I haven't spoken to her in a few years now. If she had wanted an open relationship I likely would have agreed without considering it further - but that overt double standard made me question her past behaviour and realize that's not the sort of person I want to pursue a serious relation with: brilliant, interesting, attractive, untrustworthy.

There's that old adage "Smart, Sexy, Sane: Pick Two" (and yes, I agree it's both a cruel and inaccurate generalization), and I always used to think I preferred Smart+Sexy+Insane - but I can deal with mental illness, it turns out the one thing I can't abide in a partner is untrustworthiness. So, I recognized that about myself from her - it may seem obvious - but I thought it a lesson worth passing on

[Osoroshii]

Would be a definite dealbreaker for me, yeah.

depends if it's a open relationship.

I kinda think an "open relationship" only benefits one half of the couple; one gets the stability of someone who will obviously put up with absolutely anything, and the other one is so weak/pathetic/whipped that he/she agrees to it simply to avoid being single. Could be wrong about some instances but after observing an old friend get involved in an "open relationship," this certainly seems to be the case for him.

[hellosaltygoodness]

behind my back, it would be a deal breaker. but consensually its fine. me and my boyfriend have partnered up with other couples a few times before so i've actually watched my boyfriend have sex with other people, and he's seen me do the same. i guess if either of us had any attraction to a specific person and felt the urge to "cheat", we could always just suggest to each other to do it all of us together legitimately. its kind of a solution to cheating, when you think of it.

[Deleted]

Trust is the most important thing in a relationship to me. If my partner was openly telling me he couldn't be trusted then yes, it would be a dealbreaker.

[DEATHETERNAL]

If it is stated as a worry for the future with no desire to do so, plan to do so, or preconceived acceptance of the notion of doing so like I would take from what was in the OP, it would not be a deal breaker. I'm celibate and will remain so until I'm married. I can’t fathom that I would throw away chastity after marrying to do something like that, but even so, I do worry about it. It would be the worst thing I have ever done to the most important person in my life if I did so. I don't worry because I believe I have a meaningful chance of doing so, but because of the magnitude of the consequences.

If she worries for the same reasoning, I cannot fault her for that. If she instead worried because she thought that there was a meaningful chance of her falling to disloyalty despite no intention of doing so and no acceptance of the notion of doing so, I still don’t think it would be a deal breaker. I’ve done horrific things, and I would be remise if I failed to give her a chance and my support despite her worry if she truly wanted to attempt to be loyal when she is willing to give someone like me a chance despite the kind of person I am.