DiD I give my buddy bad advice?

[Stelio Kontos]

I've never let a woman give me an ultimatum. The once or twice it's happened I walked. I don't play that game.

[Halyon]

Have they actually talked about why she's started eating more? Because if they can't communicate, that's a bigger problem than her putting on weight, and him just assuming why it is/isn't so... .__.

[Deleted]

I think you should stay out of it, there may be things going on he hasn't told you about, that has caused her to get like that. On the other hand it might be that she doesn't get what she needs from him so she turns to food.

[AeneasBK]

Plot Twist: Bigzo is aiming for some chubby fallout when the relationship breaks down.


... I don't actually think you're that sort of person.

[scoobysnacks]

I was once dumped because I was overweight. She asked me to lose weight but I didn't. At the time I was angry and upset, but now I appreciate why she did it. If you're not attracted to your partner anymore then why stay with them? That's a friendship, not a relationship. As harsh as it sounds, it was good advice.

[khalltusk]

Plot Twist: Bigzo is aiming for some chubby fallout when the relationship breaks down.


... I don't actually think you're that sort of person.

I know I should not laugh but this did make me chuckle. Still, ultimatums can sometimes work but I would not rely on it. If you're unhappy in a relationship talking to your partner is always the way forward. If then things still dont click after a lot of work then its up to them to decide what to do.

[shadowmouse]

You gave him bad advice. Ultimatums are kind of the opposite of good communications and they're not a good tool for conflict resolution.

[Deleted]

Ultimatums - as had been said - are never good for relationships. They completely remove the opportunity to actually work things out and compromise. If this isn't a serious relationship, then I can understand how dumping someone, if you no longer found them sexually attractive could be acceptable, providing the guy isn't a dick about it. But in a serious, committed relationship, it really isn't on to dump someone because they gained a bit of weight. If your friend is the type of person to do that then she's probably better off without him (and she can always give me a call :P ). But seriously, jokes aside even if he's worried about her weight it's better to actually talk it through with her.

[Deleted]

Ultimatums are a bad thing always for relationships, as people have said.

That said, I don't think there's such a thing as bad advice unless it comes from a stranger.

Like, if your friend who consitently fucks up every relationship and they give you relationship advice, yeah it's not "good advice" as such but you know the person it's comi9ng from so like...

You can be like "okay, well, for staying together it's gonna be bad advice because it's from them, but it's useful to know what to avoid"

if he knows you, he'll know that it's not the best thing for his relationship I guess and not do it.

[THE Bigzoman]

I knew this thread was created by you before even clicking >.>

Anyway your friend should know by now to ignore any advice from you, especially relationship wise

You know you love my threads Adam.

I love that you demonstrate your tolerance in them by participating.

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Ultimatums - as had been said - are never good for relationships. They completely remove the opportunity to actually work things out and compromise. If this isn't a serious relationship, then I can understand how dumping someone, if you no longer found them sexually attractive could be acceptable, providing the guy isn't a dick about it. But in a serious, committed relationship, it really isn't on to dump someone because they gained a bit of weight. If your friend is the type of person to do that then she's probably better off without him (and she can always give me a call :P ). But seriously, jokes aside even if he's worried about her weight it's better to actually talk it through with her.

I see the ultimanium part, but don't understand why people think the mindset in question is wrong in a serious relationship.

You can argue that he should be looking on the inside, but I can emphatically argue that, unless her eating habits are being caused by something else, that she falsely advertised her inner beauty as much as her outer beauty.

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Plot Twist: Bigzo is aiming for some chubby fallout when the relationship breaks down.


... I don't actually think you're that sort of person.

THEY'RE ON TO ME!

[Deleted]

If he asked for your opinion then you are safe, if he didn't but you gave it anyway you could be in for a shitstorm if he blames you later. Your better off putting it like "if it were me" instead of "you should do this".

[Deleted]

If he's not happy with her, breaking up is ok. I don't know if an ultimatum makes sense and I wouldn't want to be the one to force someone to lose weight, so I would probably just end it if it bothered me.

[Cosmic Janitor]

I see the ultimanium part, but don't understand why people think the mindset in question is wrong in a serious relationship.

You can argue that he should be looking on the inside, but I can emphatically argue that, unless her eating habits are being caused by something else, that she falsely advertised her inner beauty as much as her outer beauty.

As someone who constantly has to endure the bitching of all kind of men about their lazy ass wives that already have smal things orbiting them, yeah. They need to talk about it, just the ultimatum is bad. Labling it false advertising though? Eh, it's more about what is wrong with her/their relationship and what they expect of one another in the future.

[Torgent]

Hope you all enjoyed the game. (I'm sure Xskarma is happy and Felya is still starring at the screen in disbeleif about them passing on the 2 yard line)

I went and saw the game with a close friend that I hadn't seen in a year. Before he moved out with his close girlfriend, she had a decent body size but her face wasn't very easy on the eyes. When I saw them today, I couldn't help but notice that his girlfriend had plumped up quite a bit since I last saw them the year before. It got even more noticeable when i noticed her choice in servings of the food and beer we purchased.

When I had my buddy alone, I asked if his girlfriend was doing okay; maybe she was going through depression and turning to food. He told me that this wasn't the case. When discussing the matter further, he told me that she started chowing down and had refused to hit the gym with him. He didn't know what to do, as he didn't want to hurt her feelings but at the same time, this wasn't what he signed up for.

I told him to give her an ultimanum: Either get back to pre relationship size or get dumped. I felt that if it was bothering my buddy so much, that he shouldn't subject himself to false advertising. However, looking back at it, doing this seems too jerkish.

You gave him terrible advice. The fact that you were giving him unrequested relationship advice at all is bad. Don't get involved in other people's relationships unless they ask for it. Most often this will lead to one of two things. Either you will mess up their relationship, or you will mess up your friendship. Rarely does a scenario like the one you said end well.

[Deleted]

I see the ultimanium part, but don't understand why people think the mindset in question is wrong in a serious relationship.

You can argue that he should be looking on the inside, but I can emphatically argue that, unless her eating habits are being caused by something else, that she falsely advertised her inner beauty as much as her outer beauty.

In a serious relationship you should really be past the point where it matters to you if your partner gains some weight or gets less attractive - at least from a shallow, attraction perspective. You can still be concerned for her health if she gains a lot of weight but that's a different issue. Put it this way: In a serious relationship, there's a possibility that this could become a life long relationship. After over a year of being partners it would not be unusual to think about getting married and settling down. And in that case, you're eventually going to see your partner getting old. In a lifelong relationship it's inevitable that you will see your partner getting less attractive from an objective standpoint. But if you actually love them, it shouldn't matter. You should be able to find them beautiful even when they're old and wrinkled. The same should really apply to weight imo.

Also, how does gaining weight mean you don't have "inner beauty"?

[THE Bigzoman]

Haven't you said that you are over-weight, but think you carry it well?

I don't carry this inconsistently.

[Deleted]

Haven't you said that you are over-weight, but think you carry it well?

A lot of people on MMOC are overweight

[TheTaurenOrc]

So shes not your girlfriend and your friend didn't even ask for your opinion on the matter, but you had to stick your nose in and comment. How about mind your own business.

[Shaderas]

A lot of people on MMOC are overweight

WHAT?!?!?? No way, hasn't it been proven that all MMO-Champ posters are 10/10 looks, rich, 140+ IQ, sex everyday, super great careers that they all enjoy, charitable and humble?

[Jester Joe]

Ultimatums are literally a last ditch effort. I think it's wrong to pull them off right off the bat, but if you're left with absolutely no choice it is the ultimate test of a relationship. You literally are leaving the fate of the relationship to fate at that point, or at least the other person's choice.

That being said, I wouldn't say it was awful advice completely Bigzo, maybe could of been a bit less ultimatum-ish but still, it's your friend's job to decide what he really wants. Advice should always be weighted by the person for the final verdict.