Why do we teach children it's okay to lose?

[Crissi]

Oh absolutely. Over ten years ago I played tennis in high school. Had a state ranking, got 3rd place in doubles at state my junior and senior year. I was still pissed. And I still wanted to strangle all those dudes that would beat me up and down the court. I worked my ass off from the time I was about seven years old all the way up to 18.

The problem I see is that more people don't have my attitude. I want people on my teams that actually care about what they're doing. I don't want it to be some scrub that's just trying to blow off steam. I want to play with winners and determined people. Apparently these days it's okay if you're a loser. It's what the kids are taught.

Then use the anger to get better, instead of whine and bitch about others like a man child. No one actually likes losing, but people that never learn to lose with grace tend to not do so well when real life this them in the face and they start losing on meaningful stuff.

[THE Bigzoman]

Pretty sure maturity is a rare drop, so not many people will have it.

Yeah,

Competition and stereotypical nerds don't mix that well in WoW or LARPING. That's why I got back into playing basketball.

[Feral Camel]

I want to play with winners and determined people.

Can't you play with groups that have a similar mind set?

[THE Bigzoman]

Oh absolutely. Over ten years ago I played tennis in high school. Had a state ranking, got 3rd place in doubles at state my junior and senior year. I was still pissed. And I still wanted to strangle all those dudes that would beat me up and down the court. I worked my ass off from the time I was about seven years old all the way up to 18.

The problem I see is that more people don't have my attitude. I want people on my teams that actually care about what they're doing. I don't want it to be some scrub that's just trying to blow off steam. I want to play with winners and determined people. Apparently these days it's okay if you're a loser. It's what the kids are taught.

Find people that do. It's really not as hard as you think.

[Garnier Fructis]

Oh absolutely. Over ten years ago I played tennis in high school. Had a state ranking, got 3rd place in doubles at state my junior and senior year. I was still pissed. And I still wanted to strangle all those dudes that would beat me up and down the court. I worked my ass off from the time I was about seven years old all the way up to 18.

The problem I see is that more people don't have my attitude. I want people on my teams that actually care about what they're doing. I don't want it to be some scrub that's just trying to blow off steam. I want to play with winners and determined people. Apparently these days it's okay if you're a loser. It's what the kids are taught.

You're making the mistake of assuming that they don't care about what they're doing just because they don't act the way you do, apparently.

Caring about your sport is improving yourself after you lose and not giving up. Caring about your sport isn't throwing a tantrum when you lose.

[nyc81991]

Not being able to accept failure limits you as a person. Failure is not only inevitable but it is also something to learn from.

[Crissi]

I wouldn't want to shake hands when the other team is actively mocking me with "no means no" shit.

and I thought that was pretty awful of the Oregon people chanting that, and they rightly got their ass handed to them when it mattered in the finals. However, I did end up respecting Winston more because he knew how to handle that and shook hands anyways.

[Fencers]

Because most people will "lose", so to speak, at any given thing they attempt to compete in. Most endeavors are failures. Success in competition & general life endeavors are actually quite rare, statistically speaking.

This doesn't mean one can not "get on" with life despite inevitable shortcomings and failures. Ironically, most humans do get on just fine. Therein lies the logic of teaching children early that despite "losing", one can get over & along just fine.

Human beings are generally, and overwhelmingly, average. This is pretty okay.

[Sanguiris]

I've never understood why children are taught that it's okay to lose as long as you tried your best.

Not sure if trolling....

You can't always be #1 and there's always something to learn from your mistakes.

[Sam the Wiser]

It's one thing to fail and learn a lesson in life, it's whole other thing when people enjoy being losers. I've seen this a whole lot in Dota2. People encourage bad playing and the desire to lose.

[Issalice]

Failure happens, you need to prepare children for it otherwise they grow up and aren't functioning adults. You can't avoid failure 100% of the time, you need to know how to deal with it.

There is nothing wrong with trying your best and being pissed when you come short, but you shouldn't act like an asshole about it. Learning to lose with dignity says a lot about a person's character.

[Barnabas]

Oh wow this thread is about solo que in league? Maybe if the OP wasn't some rager then he could find friends to play with around his skill level? Then you avoid the pubs and the people in solo que that don't take their mistakes that seriously.

[Zervek]

That's why you teach them that if they lose, it is always someone else's fault.

[Deleted]

The problem I see is that more people don't have my attitude. I want people on my teams that actually care about what they're doing. I don't want it to be some scrub that's just trying to blow off steam. I want to play with winners and determined people. Apparently these days it's okay if you're a loser. It's what the kids are taught.

If you want to play with people like that, go out and find them, dont suggest that the rest of the world should be like you, just because you think you are awesome yourself, specialy not when your way of being awesome is by shitting on other people.
If you cba to find team mates, thats your problem, dont blame it on the random people you come across doing the day.

[bmjclark]

So they don't grow up and rage in league games like you?

[DEATHETERNAL]

Parents don't want their children to feel bad about anything and so would rather their children not care if they succeed or fail instead of yearn to succeed and feel bad when they fail.

[Auxora]

Playing devil's advocate...

Why do people think they should be able to decide how other people raise their kids? ... and

Do you think kids should be told they are failures and they should be emotionally distraught anytime they lose at anything, including relatively meaningless things like videogames that they are bound to lose at by design quite frequently? That's a great way to setup a kid for a lifetime of needing therapy.

Don't confuse teaching kids how to be adjusted enough to accept and overcome loss when it happens with being apathetic to winning.

[Sicarius87]

No it's not ok to lose. Kids shouldnt be taught at an early age that its not whether you win or lose its whether or not you have fun playing the game. Thats bullshit. Sure have fun, but also win. No one likes losers.

[Karlz0rz]

I read a study a while back(can't find source), that said it is more likely for a team to lose, if you are angry/aggressive towards each other.
So you raging like a little bitch is actually a detriment towards you ranking higher/performing better.

Also, we are taught to accept defeat because it WILL happen(it has happened to you, and you act like a bitch when it happens), and that you should learn from it.

Once you grow a little older, like, above 16 or so, you'll come to understand it .

[madmanx]

I've never understood why children are taught that it's okay to lose as long as you tried your best. It is not okay to lose. If you tried your best and came up short, you're a loser. That's literally the definition.

I'll play games of league and freaking rage on my team when we're losing. At that point I would literally rather be doing anything else but playing that game because there is no part of losing that I enjoy, or appreciate, or want to be part of. So why exactly do we teach people that it's okay to be a loser? And what's the point of having a good attitude about it? What exactly do you gain from not caring about the outcome of something you're supposedly trying to win at?

Because there are things we say to lube up life a little. No one is saying that it is nicer to lose but it certainly is OK. If you are going to "rage" every time you lose you will soon have no team to rage at.

oh ... and grow up!