Blaming only the Rapist is pointless

[Deleted]

No. But it does rise some questions about the risk taking.
The odd thing about this is that it's somehow completely okay to blame someone for "walking there at that time of the day... you fucked up".

Kind of reminds me of

Again though, most rapes don't occur when a woman is walking alone down a dark alley dressed in booty shorts and a bikini top and clearly very drunk. Most of the time it's friends and people you are close to. Why are you focusing on the small number of cases, the people getting raped for being drunk wearing booty shorts or whatever, when "Being around your male friends alone" is much more risky behaviour? Why are people advising women to not wear this or drink that or go here or whatever, when a better risk reducing strategy would be to advise them "Stay clear of all your male friends"?

Because it's easy to tell women what to do when it's safe and doesn't effect you, even if it's not the best advice you could be giving.

[chaotus]

The OP victim blaming is stupidly written. The victim of any crime is not at fault for the crime.

BIG FKIN BUT though... there is the element of common sense that is ignored in pursuit of the colorful fictional world of utopia. There will always be crime, always be "evil" people. There will always be immoral people that hold no regard for your life, quality of life or future of said life. To pretend that being defensive is somehow horrible and dehumanizing is wrong. I lock my fkin door, I lock my car, i keep my wallet close, i make sure I don't go into dark corners with anybody I don't know, man or women, child or elderly. I meet people in social settings when I don't know them because I like to have the herd protection, I want people to see me and know who I am what I am doing and where the hell I was. I worry when someone I've just met is too nice, too mean or too angry. I look for social cues. I examine my surroundings. I don't wear a thong, get drunk and visit a prison because I can, (Mind you I fkin should be able to, but I don't). Common sense. You should have awareness of your surroundings, treat each interaction with attentiveness. Humans are dangerous. You all fixate on the person sexual assaulting the other person, I fixate on humans being human and uncivil to each other because we are removed from being animals by a cosmic blink of an eye.

Telling someone to be attentive, responsible in their actions and knowledgeable of their surroundings is just sound knowledge when dealing with 9 billion people that have no care for you beyond "look another human". you can flip that however many times you want as "telling people what to do", "victim blaming", "I do what i want, you don't know me!". It's not victim blaming and the intent is not that, if the words piss you off and you want to construct the intent to feel that way do whatever you want. I am telling you the exact intent right now. If you wish to see or feel else wise, that is your problem. I'm not here to create your fantasy world for you.

You should step outside with the belief that other humans are exactly what they are, human. They do not care about you, they do not love you, they do not think you are a special snowflake. You just barely register on people's radar. Everyone has their hands full living their own life. If they are your friend or acquaintance sure they will pay more attention to you. You pass hundreds of people every day, they all live full rich lives doing what they do and you will NEVER know what they do because you are busy with your own life. It is responsible to take care of your bodily security. It is responsible to keep awareness of your surroundings. You will fail undoubtedly sometimes, those failures are NOT invitations. But understanding that a failure in defense makes attack easier is just common sense.

All the common sense in the world is not going to stop another human from attacking you if they truly want to attack you. But that common sense might mitigate the damage, situation and timing. It might make a one sided attack a fair fight. It might make your position defensible. These are all things that regardless of your hatred for the action are redeemable and valid.

[CptEgo]

I love all you people calling for the thread to be locked. Is that the American way? If there's a subject we're uncomfortable discussing, we just look the other way, ignore it? Why don't we just censor everything, and just talk about things that are nice? Like puppies and strawberries.

[procne]

Rape always makes for an interesting discussion, you either want the rapist to be set on fire, their corpse disembowled and the ashes to be thrown into a dump or you're er... Wrong - Good old modern day feminism.

I don't disagree that the rapist is 100% in control of their actions (okay we'll exclude extreme mental issues) and it's their fault. The problem lies in the "precautions".

You shouldn't have to take precautions to avoid being mugged or beat up, but in the world we live in - it's probably a good idea. You shouldn't have to take precautions to avoid being raped, but in the world we live in... It's unfortunately a good idea.

I don't think any sane person can say dressing in revealing clothing is asking to be raped, that's not the argument at all. But rather, we're aware rape is a thing and we can't miraculously stop it over night as much as I'd love to say we could. We live in a world with some sick fucking people, paedophiles, rapists and murderers... None of these things are right or the victims fault but... It's just very difficult to say " please be careful " without sounding like you're victim blaming.

In an ideal world you can walk home alone at 3am in whatever the hell you want to wear and not bat an eyelid (sorry, English expression) much to the general misfortune to the male population, you can't always do this. Of course 'wear more clothes' and 'don't be a slut' aren't the solutions, the solution is "don't fucking rape someone" and I think 75% of the way of achieving this is to educate that it's wrong and 25% is to take precaution until you no longer need to and at some god-given miracle day when rape doesn't exist - you no longer need precautions.



Just my 2 cents, fully expecting to be called god knows what.

You god knows what, you.

But yeah, I fully agree. People are too quick to take "be more careful" as blaming the victim

[Mayhem]

No. But it does rise some questions about the risk taking.
The odd thing about this is that it's somehow completely okay to blame someone for "walking there at that time of the day... you fucked up".

There´s a difference in being mugged and raped. I hope you´re aware of that. Regardless of the crime, it´s not ok to blame the victim, because they aren´t at fault. If they were they could be charged as well.

[Kalis]

Well, the price of not having a cock in your ass, especially for a woman, is carrying. Pistols, like I said, favor women immensely, they're small, light, the smaller ones don't have killer recoil, and they can pop a cap in someone's ass. I personally think of all the people whom the Second Amendment grants benefit to, women should probably make proportionately more use of it than men, precisely because physical power is already generally not in a woman's favor.

Can you prove it leads to fewer rapes? The US doesn't have a particularly low sexual crimes rate in comparison to its peers, yet it does have a spectacularly high murder rate.

Your argument doesn't seem to be defended by reality.

[chaotus]

Again though, most rapes don't occur when a woman is walking alone down a dark alley dressed in booty shorts and a bikini top and clearly very drunk. Most of the time it's friends and people you are close to. Why are you focusing on the small number of cases, the people getting raped for being drunk wearing booty shorts or whatever, when "Being around your male friends alone" is much more risky behaviour? Why are people advising women to not wear this or drink that or go here or whatever, when a better risk reducing strategy would be to advise them "Stay clear of all your male friends"?

Because it's easy to tell women what to do when it's safe and doesn't effect you, even if it's not the best advice you could be giving.

As a male I find this generalization abhorrent. I don't assume all women are gold diggers looking for a pay day just because I made a bad judgement call and know one who is like that. Because some women became friends with trolls in guy form that decided they were going to attack them, suddenly men are rapist. That is BS and extremely rude.

Maybe the true risk reducing strategy would be to choose your friends carefully and always evaluate your surroundings and the social cues of the people around you, that way if you are placed into a horrible situation and you might realize the true intent of the opposing party before it is too late. Instead of just assuming all penis want to rape you and branding every man a rapist in hiding like the hamburgular.

[Deleted]

Rape always makes for an interesting discussion, you either want the rapist to be set on fire, their corpse disembowled and the ashes to be thrown into a dump or you're er... Wrong - Good old modern day feminism.

I don't disagree that the rapist is 100% in control of their actions (okay we'll exclude extreme mental issues) and it's their fault. The problem lies in the "precautions".

You shouldn't have to take precautions to avoid being mugged or beat up, but in the world we live in - it's probably a good idea. You shouldn't have to take precautions to avoid being raped, but in the world we live in... It's unfortunately a good idea.

I don't think any sane person can say dressing in revealing clothing is asking to be raped, that's not the argument at all. But rather, we're aware rape is a thing and we can't miraculously stop it over night as much as I'd love to say we could. We live in a world with some sick fucking people, paedophiles, rapists and murderers... None of these things are right or the victims fault but... It's just very difficult to say " please be careful " without sounding like you're victim blaming.

In an ideal world you can walk home alone at 3am in whatever the hell you want to wear and not bat an eyelid (sorry, English expression) much to the general misfortune to the male population, you can't always do this. Of course 'wear more clothes' and 'don't be a slut' aren't the solutions, the solution is "don't fucking rape someone" and I think 75% of the way of achieving this is to educate that it's wrong and 25% is to take precaution until you no longer need to and at some god-given miracle day when rape doesn't exist - you no longer need precautions.



Just my 2 cents, fully expecting to be called god knows what.

I do not think it is hard to say it without blaming the victim. The thing that is hard is saying that without a whole lot of keyboard warriors claiming it to be victim blaming.

[Nadiru]

Can you prove it leads to fewer rapes? The US doesn't have a particularly low sexual crimes rate in comparison to its peers, yet it does have a spectacularly high murder rate.

Your argument doesn't seem to be defended by reality.

The argument logically holds, though I recognize that it is difficult to prove that the existence of something led to the absence of something else. Unfortunately, the reversal of my argument, the one you use with murder rate, doesn't hold either; gun controlled areas of the US are the places with the highest murder rate: Chicago, St. Louis, and Detroit all have killer gun control laws. Hasn't prevented gun crime or gun murders much, if at all.

[Revi]

I love the mods on this site...

The stupidest, silliest posts get reported/removed/banned but this bullshit crap is allowed to stay.

OP, if you were raped in the ass would you still sing the same tune?

Let me elaborate on what I was saying, and give some background.

I was in the Royal guard for my 1-year "mandatory" service, a part of that was guard duty. One of those posts were close by a park surrounding the royal castle.

During that summer, we had an all-time record of sexual assault, many of which took place in that park as it was large, unlit, lots of terrain/vegetation and most importantly a shortcut home for many people going out to the surrounding clubs and bars. We, the police and the media all issued warnings to avoid taking that shortcut alone because of the very increased risk of sexual assault.

Despite these warnings being known to everyone (huge media coverage and public conversation about it), many drunk girls STILL decided the risk was worth the 10 minutes they saved getting getting home, and some of them got raped. They chose to walk drunk and alone through an area that was specifically warned against due to extraordinary risk of assault.

I would never say any of these girls were responsible for the act of rape itself, but they were absolutely responsible for making horrible decisions that led to it occurring, and I think it's not just ridiculous, but dangerous, if we as a society can't say that without people crying for censorship due to "victim blaming".

[Deleted]

This is immensely stupid. Here's just the first 10 reasons out of 100's as to why its immensely stupid:

1. Not all or even most rape crimes are committed to women drunk or wearing something "sexy". i mentioned clothing in general and a skirt+heels vs jeans+sneakers in a scenario about agility and practicallity
2. What people find "sexy" is different. truth
3. You're an idiot. thank you for beein honest
4. Rapists are not usually motivated by sex. truth
5. Should a guy get raped if he has his shirt off and is drunk? no
6. Your scenario is stupid, A or B getting raped depends on the motivation of the actual rapist, not the victim. ok, gl girls don't be number 3 is your only option
7. Does all crime work like this too? If you have an expensive car and it gets stolen, is it your fault? a expensive car is more lucrative to get stolen If you're driving at night and get hit by a drunk driver, is it your fault cause you were driving at night? I mean, after all preventing drunk driving accidents > blaming drunk drivers, amirite? it helps me more if i drive more carefully at night, then saying drunk drivers are a risk
8. Your stance is predicated on some stupid misogynistic pretense, where women are merely sex objects whose only concern in life is to vary their levels of attractiveness to men for desired results. would be nice if you could quote between the lines, since i assume you found it there
9. How the fuck are you qualified to even have an opinion on this? i think everyone is qualified to an opinion What research have you done? looking at the world without closed eyes, some documentarys Have you ever spoken to a rape victim? not as far as i know, but i would never tell her "You are not able to prevent this from happening again, just be lucky in the future", because that is subconciously what the media tells her
10. What the hell is going on in your life that you not only spent so much time thinking about this, but just boiled over with need that you felt like you had to share this? media, rapeculture and feminism telling me i am a potential rapist and women should be afraid of me because i have a penis Who do you know that's been busted for raping someone? none

please read the text again and try not to imagine me as a fat white male raping a 6 year old while writing it. maybe you understand where i am going with this.
a rapist gets punished by society and the legal system when he is caught, i am perfectly fine with that.
a rape victim is damaged for a lifetime, i would rather help to prevent that, then to accept it as a 1/3 numbers game.
giving the victim part of the guilt is not the same as 100% blaming the victim, please do not twist my words thats childish.

[Deleted]

Are you by any chance one of these guys?

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-31698154

Because I have never read such wanton drivel in my entire existence as the diatribe the interviewees in that article spouted.


From the article

""Along with three of the other attackers, Singh is now appealing against his death sentence. In 16 hours of interviews, Singh showed no remorse and kept expressing bewilderment that such a fuss was being made about this rape, when everyone was at it.

"A decent girl won't roam around at nine o'clock at night. A girl is far more responsible for rape than a boy," he said.

"Housework and housekeeping is for girls, not roaming in discos and bars at night doing wrong things, wearing wrong clothes. About 20% of girls are good."

People "had a right to teach them a lesson" he suggested - and he said the woman should have put up with it""


Good thinking guys...

I read that about 20 minutes ago, oh man that is some grade a fucking horse shit right there.

[Kalis]

The argument logically holds, though I recognize that it is difficult to prove that the existence of something led to the absence of something else. Unfortunately, the reversal of my argument, the one you use with murder rate, doesn't hold either; gun controlled areas of the US are the places with the highest murder rate: Chicago, St. Louis, and Detroit all have killer gun control laws. Hasn't prevented gun crime or gun murders much, if at all.

Regional gun control in a nation that doesn't have border controls is like pissing in the wind, only you get more blood than piss on you.

This isn't a gun control thread though, however carrying more guns is generally not a very good argument to rape prevention unless you can prove it works.

[Dug]

OP you can have all the opinions you want but opinions can be wrong and hoo boy are yours wrong.

Should we just kill ourselves to prevent anything ever happening to us?

[Adam Jensen]

Even if the woman puts herself at risk, it is 100% not her fault. Because the rapist has no excuse, no matter how vulnerable the woman is, to commit rape.

[Darsithis]

This is not an acceptable thread here.

Closing.