Well, this has been quite the mess. Logs at the bottom to understand what I'm referencing. I'm Laradrin, by the way.
I took a hiatus from WoW for 3 months until friends convinced me to come back and heal. That was 7 weeks ago. The raid group consisted of 6 IRL Friends and a few internet people they managed to keep in the guild. In March, they were 5/7 Normal Highmaul and 1/7 H highmaul. These were raiders who had defeated progression content before. They have AotC and some CE achievements!
The guy who replaced me as tank and raid leader did nothing to inspire his players. He didn't adjust strategies between pulls. I came in the first week and we wiped on butcher over and over again and each wipe was "Well we got it this time guys!" and that's it. I out-healed our resto druid, another friend, despite being 35 ilvls below him. I don't say this to brag - the next week, he kicked my ass by like 12k HPs - but to point out that no one cared. We had 1 DPS above 20k. We had a healer who was doing 7k HPs. When we wiped again, I told our healers that I'd like to organize healing CDs to help with his potential burst. We killed him next attempt.
Things progressed about how you'd think. Slowly, I took over raid leading responsibilities until 2 weeks ago he officially stepped down and I took over. We are now 9/10 normal BRF and 4/10 heroic BRF. We've managed to recruit - and keep - a lot of DPS and healers who are performing amazingly. I'm happy overall. Players have seriously progressed. They're happy and they strive to improve themselves rather than stagnating.
...But, I'm raiding with IRL friends, and I don't know what to do about two of them.
One is - a resto druid who just moved to boomkin. She is my best friend's girlfriend. She is incapable of taking instruction or constructive criticism. Anything is met by "uh-huh" or, if pressed, she gets super quiet until the topic is over and then leaves and is bitchy for two days. She stands in every type of fire imaginable. She got hit by 9 darmac spears one night. She does ~12-15k DPS at ilvl 673. She did 17k HPs on our H Flamebender progression night.
The second is , the former Raid leader, a casual friend of mine and a very good friend of another friend. He makes severe mistakes and blames others. On Flamebender, he died to Charring Breath very often. After looking through logs, we found attempts where he would Shield Wall, Last stand, and ask for Vigilance...on the first breath. The first breath. The one a weak shield barrier would keep him up on. And then he'd have nothing for the 2nd or, if he survived the 2nd, 3rd breath. We wiped all night purely due to tank deaths. Although it was a peaceful transition, and he doesn't seem upset (I've raid led him for 6 years), any time I try to talk about something it gets tense. It's awkward for sure.
Does MMO-champion have any advice? Anyone been in a similar situation - and how did you fix it? It won't be long until I ask a DPS who is not an IRL friend to fix something in his rotation and he will respond with "yeah, that might give me 2k DPS, but what the fuck are you doing about who is 20k DPS below me?" HALP!