When someone you care about has a problem...

[Theinquisition]

yeah, i'd say so. something derped up real good.

How does one become such a derped kitteh?

[derpkitteh]

How does one become such a derped kitteh?

idk... one day i was non-derped, the next i was watching an episode of naruto and BAM, instant, terrifying derping. guess it was just my time to derp.

[Wildtree]

I let them be... since they know they can come to me anytime. I don't have to mention that.

[Deleted]

Let them be, of course. If they want to talk to me about it they will, because they know that I will be there.

[Deleted]

if someone I care about is reluctant to open up and I think there is a real problem due to other people having mentioned it or other indicators I have always left it open with the "you know you can tell me anything in confidence at any time, right?" if I think I can help. When people are in the shit they will often clam up and prodding them just makes them spasm into a tighter ball. People in distress often have moments of clarity or absolute desperation when they might initiate a conversation with you if they know you aren't going to be judgemental or betray a confidence. Don't extend that hand to someone if you can't follow through with backing up what you offer though.

[Auberdeen]

Let them be, of course. If they want to talk to me about it they will, because they know that I will be there.

love that. mutual feels

[GrumpyJester]

I'm a very curious person, but if a person obviously doesn't want to talk about it I'll quickly change the subject (to something distracting).

[Auberdeen]

I'm a very curious person, but if a person obviously doesn't want to talk about it I'll quickly change the subject (to something distracting).

quickly change the subject because the other is clearly uncomfortable and doesn't want to talk about it. love that

[Doctor Amadeus]

Well, I never pry, because nothing says, I don't give a shit about your or your boundaries than being an over barring ass, however, I do think it's alright to communicate with someone if you have established the kind of relationship, that you can tell each other your problems.

So the first thing, I would do, is ask if anything is wrong, and did they want to talk about it, if they say no, I'll just let them know if they change their mind, I can be an ear to LISTEN! (LISTEN) is the key word.

I refrain from advice, even if asked generally, especially if I don't think it will do any good, I might let them know what I would do, or maybe what I have done, but I would make it crystal clear, that I am not suggesting what they should do.

Mostly just listen, and try not to be the Mr SOLVE IT MAN, but if they need help or something I can do to help them, if they are a friend I do, it's just that simple, but always leave it up to them to solve their own problem for the most part.

[Independent voter]

Not enough details in the OPs post to make a decision. If it was my best friend Dan, I would punch him in the shoulder until he told me what was wrong. Or get him drunk so he would tell me what was wrong or punch him and get him drunk.

If it was my girl, that's a lot more delicate situation. I would ask what's wrong and if she says nothing I would leave her alone. Girls are very difficult.

[Lynarii]

With my partner and I, if we don't want to talk about it, then it's left alone. In no small part because of the fact that we are respectful of each other's boundaries and feelings, it always ends up coming out once the person in question finds the right time and manner in which they feel comfortable discussing it. Until that time, prying would only damage the trust and respect that we've built up between each other.

The one exception where I feel prying is acceptable is if there is a legitimate risk of harm to themselves or others. But that's emergency intervention level stuff, not "I'm in a bad mood and don't want to talk about it" day to day life.

[Kerath]

I'll make it clear that I'm there for them if/when they want to talk, but I don't pry.

[Lotus Victoria]

Usually I respect their space. Only if it involves me, then, I'll pry