Unfortunately I don't have time to make a full post, but to keep it short:
-There's nothing controversial about saying that people will watch series entirely for the violence (or, "top tier suffering").
-Abyss does establish its world before the violence, so its initial popularity cannot be solely credited to it.
-Whether the Abyss's darker elements are the primary draw later in the series is another issue. I will admit they were for me.
-I think it's interesting to wonder how the series comes across when people describe it based on a few key points, but that is more complicated than a blanket image of how anime is viewed.
-No need to be insulting. Really.
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Who's Rem?