should my daughter visit her mother in jail? is there a benefit to visiting?

[1924]

since there was an off topic section on this site I thought I would ask for opinions

My wife, who is also mother of my fourteen year old is in jail for six months for a financial crime. I am willing to stick by her and not leave her because I feel She made some stupid mistakes but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions, She also never did anything bad at all before this And I am not defending her or saying she should not serve her punishment. I told my daughter we should be glad her mother is serving time for her actions. Doing the right thing for her mistakes. Also, her mother is showing regret and no defense at what she did . I am thinking of letting my daughter visit her and have her still be involved with her child because she was never an absent or abusive parent or anything. Some might say sticking by her is being enabling but I just cannot agree
I think it is good to prepare in advance for her absence for the next six months. I wonder what are some good ways to do so, we still have time one of the things we must figure out is how to prepare for this upcoming incarceration. What are some good ways especially for each person to prepare for this?
My daughter seems to be taking it fine , she also said it is kind of funny that her mother is locked up and is now the one being ordered around by others. This is weird because she never had a bad relationship with her mother. I asked what she meant and she said she was just joking. I think that is OK to try to crack a joke to make the situation feel less bad and that a better way of handing the situation instead of being hysterical about it

should I take her to visit her mother when she is in jail, or is it a bad idea? My wife says she can come if she wants to. But even if she wants to it could be a bad environment. Also, seeing her mother in jail (which I hear is very de humanizing) could be a bad image. Her mom will be dressed in a jail uniform and is of course rightfully being treated like any other inmate but that might send a "normalizing" message to my daughter -I hear it is a hassle to get in. Also, seeing other inmates or even police officers could be intimidating to a young girl

If I do allow her what should I tell her in advance to prepare her? Is it a good idea for her to ask her mother questions about all this?

[Xeones]

14 is old enough to make the decision for herself I think.

[Orange Joe]

My advice is to not listen to any advice you get on this site.

[hellosaltygoodness]

If she wants to. She is old enough to decide for herself if she wants to go or not.

[kritisk]

She's old enough to make the choice for herself. Let her do that and if she decides to go, do your best to explain to her that it might be difficult to see.

[Mic_128]

It might be an idea to visit her alone for the first time, to get a better feel of how visits go. But unless it's something extreme, if she wants to go, I'd let her.

[Mukor]

if she wants to go let her go.

[purebalance]

I wouldn't bring my daughters to a place like that.

If it's 6 months, I'd just wait.

It's good for the mother's sanity. I had to do 20 days once and I didn't want people to visit me since it was silly, but 6 months is just a long time to not see your friends and family. Also being a women's prison and a financial crime I'm pretty sure she's not in with murderers and such so the daughter would be fine.

[Barnabas]

Absolutely there is a benefit. Her mother won't be stressed out and fall into depression if she has contact with her children still. Laws might prevent her from visitation because you have to be 16 afaik. Calls and letters work just as well.

[Santti]

If she wants to go, then yes. Her mom would like that for sure. I mean, jail probably sucks hard, and seeing your family visit would more than likely lift her spirits. You daughter is 14, she can handle herself.

[badaku]

If she wants to. She is old enough to decide for herself if she wants to go or not.

Yeah. She's almost old enough to drive there.

[Ayla]

This smells trolly.
If not, you sound controlling or extremely over protective, I dont know which.

Dont force anything. Dont make her prepare questions. Ask your daughter if she wants to go then set a date and time, let your daughter know and then go.

[babalou1]

I too think this is a troll.

You're standing by your wife and not leaving her, but your "thinking of letting my daughter visit her and have her still be involved with her child"

The fuck?

You either stand by her or you dont.

If this isnt a troll, you sound like an abusive/controlling parent and i really question on whether you should be involved with your daughter

[Super Kami Dende]

Let her see her Mother in Prison. It might stop her from growing up to be as much of a Dumbass as her.

[Feel The Power]

If this isn't trolling then maybe YOU are the one who shouldn't be around your daughter. Asking for serious life advice on a videogame forum where magic cows and pandas are discussed makes me question your own ability to make even simple life choices.

[Ayla]

If this isn't trolling then maybe YOU are the one who shouldn't be around your daughter. Asking for serious life advice on a videogame forum where magic cows and pandas are discussed makes me question your own ability to make even simple life choices.

Well when you are too busy making sure your wife feels regret, and making sure that its okay for your daughter to crack some jokes , you kinda dont have time to decide the little things.

[Crispin]

I did visit my father in prison several times, I don't recall the situation as bad whatsoever, I was delighted to see my father and he also seemed very happy to see me, I also did appreciate to see what kind of place he was at, I guess the worst part about visiting him, was my mother crying alot when we left.

If my GF went to jail, I'd take our kids to see her, and I'd make sure I didnt fall apart on the trip home.

[1924]

the reason I questioned about whether to take my daughter has nothing to do with her mom, but the environment.

[Stacyrect]

since there was an off topic section on this site I thought I would ask for opinions

My wife, who is also mother of my fourteen year old is in jail for six months for a financial crime. I am willing to stick by her and not leave her because I feel She made some stupid mistakes but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions, She also never did anything bad at all before this And I am not defending her or saying she should not serve her punishment. I told my daughter we should be glad her mother is serving time for her actions. Doing the right thing for her mistakes. Also, her mother is showing regret and no defense at what she did . I am thinking of letting my daughter visit her and have her still be involved with her child because she was never an absent or abusive parent or anything. Some might say sticking by her is being enabling but I just cannot agree
I think it is good to prepare in advance for her absence for the next six months. I wonder what are some good ways to do so, we still have time one of the things we must figure out is how to prepare for this upcoming incarceration. What are some good ways especially for each person to prepare for this?
My daughter seems to be taking it fine , she also said it is kind of funny that her mother is locked up and is now the one being ordered around by others. This is weird because she never had a bad relationship with her mother. I asked what she meant and she said she was just joking. I think that is OK to try to crack a joke to make the situation feel less bad and that a better way of handing the situation instead of being hysterical about it

should I take her to visit her mother when she is in jail, or is it a bad idea? My wife says she can come if she wants to. But even if she wants to it could be a bad environment. Also, seeing her mother in jail (which I hear is very de humanizing) could be a bad image. Her mom will be dressed in a jail uniform and is of course rightfully being treated like any other inmate but that might send a "normalizing" message to my daughter -I hear it is a hassle to get in. Also, seeing other inmates or even police officers could be intimidating to a young girl

If I do allow her what should I tell her in advance to prepare her? Is it a good idea for her to ask her mother questions about all this?

No, do not take your daughter to see her mother in jail. It's not worth it. As a non violent offender incarcerated on a misdemeanor she will be fast tracked for release which means out of that six months shes only going to serve maybe 2 months before she is paroled out. Just because the prisoners are on the other side of the wall doesn't make it less of a dangerous place. The people often visiting can be worse then the people locked up. Just make sure your wife has some money for the jail store and let her sit pretty till she's out.

[Jester Joe]

the reason I questioned about whether to take my daughter has nothing to do with her mom, but the environment.

If you're being serious, even if your child is an A student, perfect behavior, seeing the inside of a jail would probably be a positive thing, because they would see how gross and what not it is.