What would you do if you were the absolute monarch of the United states?

[Wvvtayy]

As in you can't do whatever you want with no reprocessing (unless you invade another country of course)

Personally I'd put all social conservatives, feminists, and anyone with a tumblr account in brutal auchwitz style extermination/concentration camps. The real final solution to this countries problems.

[breadisfunny]

cut myself on all that edginess.
also i would ban all draenei from the face of the earth and stuff them in extermination camps.

[Fawkess]

All pants except Yoga pants would be banned
The national anthem would be changed to Thriller from Micheal jackson
Arena/gladiator Battles would be common
Any blood elf sympathizers would be shot on sight or mauled by bears

[imabanana]

I'd leave the mess to someone else, and get out of there asap.

[Deleted]

annex Canada

/huehuehue

[Mihalik]

As in you can't do whatever you want with no reprocessing (unless you invade another country of course)

Personally I'd put all social conservatives, feminists, and anyone with a tumblr account in brutal auchwitz style extermination/concentration camps. The real final solution to this countries problems.

Dude. You are not even trying.

[breadisfunny]

All pants except Yoga pants would be banned
The national anthem would be changed to Thriller from Micheal jackson
Arena/gladiator Battles would be common
Any blood elf sympathizers would be shot on sight or mauled by bears

all draenei sympathizers will be fed a heaping bowl of zyklon b.

[Alski]

hmm lets seee....

First: if your a Residant and you dont speak passable english (as determined by me) your out, either thrown down to mexico or shipped back to what ever country you or your parents originated from

Second: All violent criminals will be forced in to arena style combat verse things like -Herd of angry buffalo -War Robots - Monster trucks

Third: will add later

[MonsieuRoberts]

I'd play games and hang out all day and ignore the US. And I'd get in shape since I'd have the time for that sort of thing. And I'd buy a car! A 97 Eclipse GSX. And I'd go to driver's school. And I'd get a dog too, a Boxer. And other things.

Mostly though, I'd be ignoring everyone else. I'm the monarch bitch, I do what I want!

[Calzaeth]

Considering the huge amount of respect for authority you guys seem to have, I'd abdicate so damn fast the crown never even touched my head.

And then change name and move to Canada, just to be sure.

[imabanana]

First: if your a Residant and you dont speak passable english (as determined by me) your out, either thrown down to mexico or shipped back to what ever country you or your parents originated from

Or if you can't write proper English.

(also, punctuation)

[Fawkess]

I would also use my power to get Woman
Any woman in the country who i deem hot is offered a chance to sleep with me

[apples]

all criminals would be forced in arena style combat where the winner would be crowned king of earth

the king of earths sole duty is to immediately be murdered.

[belfpala]

Considering the huge amount of respect for authority you guys seem to have, I'd abdicate so damn fast the crown never even touched my head.

And then change name and move to Canada, just to be sure.

We'll track you down, abdicator, and force that crown on your head (so I can point at your policies when I get in trouble for my business deals.)

[Hexian]

Why does this have to be in reference to the US?

[MonsieuRoberts]

all criminals would be forced in arena style combat where the winner would be crowned king of earth

the king of earths sole duty is to immediately be murdered.

[Deleted]

Eh? The best thing you can imagine, given complete reign over the most powerful state in world, is to exterminate a few minority groups that are a pet peeve of yours? Why so petty? Why not become a benevolent monarch, bringing peace and equality to your people, Eisenhower-style (but, you know, for more than 2 terms)? Tax the rich, work the poor, improve infrastructure and science. Have others flock to your rule. If they don't exactly flock, liberate the shit out of them. Become the God-Emperor of Mankind.

[Shadowspire]

Welp if I'm gonna be honest.

First I'd make a list of known social issues.

All black families (based off skin color,yes I'm that type of monarch) get one plot of land 600k bucks but are no longer allowed to use welfare of any type of claim taxes for twenty years. You can of course opt out of this. This also does not apply to immigrant Africans. If your great grandparents weren't Americans and black your check is not coming.

Next I'd do a secret background check on all ppl in politics. If you have more then 30% worth of corruption you get two choices. Option a, retire within one week or b, mysterious death along with 2/3 of your family. Again I'm going for the dictator side cause this shit won't happen.

Next I'd edit Obamacare(first by changing the fucking name to something like americare, idc if this name is copyrighted.) as well shut down and ban all types of other healthcare. I'd probably have some eu politicians help me edit the bill.
After a few harsh changes I'd focus on some easier ones.

First I'd pull 1/3 of deployed troops of the remaining troops from the Middle East back and move them to bases around partnered countries.

Next I'd make recreational weed legal but have to be 21 to use it. I'd also up the age limit to normal cigs to 21 as well as the drafting papers me , and now women also, are forced to register for at 21. Basically legal adulthood is 21 now for substances, unless you have medical reasons.

I'd make false rape allegations in both college and the workplace accusations punishable by 1year in a soft prison. I'd also have lie detectors for all hearings. Also if you're convicted of rape twice, you get castraited(only applies to forced not the underage one where both agreed. Tho you will be sterilized if you do that more then three times.

I'd probably streamline immigration after I had the military increase the wall of the south by like 40ft and have barb electric wire. Basically since I'm not going to drastically change the budget for the military they are going to earn that chunk of money by being labor all around.
Finally with immigration easier I'd help the Middle East crisis(assuming I take the position right now) BUT before they can enter they have to sign a contract that will
1- make the. Agree that the country laws surpass their own beliefs.
2- are here on temporary time.
3 will be given less welfare as they are not a permanent citizen
4-will be monitored.(that baby chip that was invented years back, yeah that's going in them.
5-and finally will be booted if they comment two crimes, no matter how small. Speeding tickets or having a substance probably not.

These are the things that come to my mind

[Simulacrum]

Find somebody way more competent than me to replace me.

[timberx]

Or if you can't write proper English.

(also, punctuation)

I'm glad I'm not the only one who found that ironic.