Well I can't say your idea is really a good one but I can understand where you're coming from I guess. There's really no way they can cater to everyone at once. PvP servers normally aren't that bad anyway for ganking. Honestly until a few months after tanaan jungle became available I don't think I got ganked more than once or twice (I guess it was attempted more than that) and I'm usually out in the world alone.
Maybe you could try getting into pvp and learning to like it? I know a lot of people who constantly say they hate pvp but 99% of the time it's because they haven't given it a single honest chance and would rather complain than make an effort.
The reason everyone's default answer is "play on a PVE server" is because that's the correct answer. You can still raid with your friends cross-realm, whether you're on a PVP, PVE or RP server. Play on a server where your day to day gameplay is more enjoyable, cross-realm raid with your friends on the PVP server. Problem solved.