Can bullying build character?

[Jaylock]

I have seen quite a bit of debate on this subject, and I think its a good time to revisit it.

First of all, there are different types of bullying. Bullying to physically harm someone is not acceptable. There is never a situation where physically harming someone is okay. However, verbal bullying can in some cases build character in the person being bullied. It can help children become smarter, and make them stronger, especially when they stand up to the person bullying them.

Article here:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2...stronger/?_r=0

[Deleted]

There is bullying and there is mobbing.

[meheez]

Can attacking someone with a knife build character? Sure, but that doesn't mean its acceptable.

[WskyDK]

To a small degree it's possible, but it depends on the victim's response (and that of their parents).

[TITAN308]

I would argue you have two different things going on:

- being bullied and doing nothing about it does not build character

- being bullied then dealing with said bully can certainly build character

I will state if all a kid does is run away crying to an adult every time they are bullied nothing of value is learned. I would argue this is basically what most people would call a "liberal" in the making. Always looking to a higher power for protection. This grooms them into adulthood and I don't personally find this an attractive trait.

/flamesuit

[Herecius]

Anything can build character, but trying to somehow justify bullying doesn't really work.

[Irian]

Trials and challenging situations can build character. Bullying does build character, but not in the most effective or healthy way.

[Jaylock]

Trials and challenging situations can build character. Bullying does build character, but not in the most effective or healthy way.

I bet there are some really successful and highly intelligent people who were bullied when they were younger.

[Revi]

Sure it can. It can also tear people down.

just because it helped some people who were strong enough to come out on top, doesn't mean it's not bad overall.

[Aucald]

Correlation doesn't equal causation. I was bullied as a child and learned swiftly that responding with inordinate violence was the swift answer to make the bullying stop. Fast-forward to my teens and early adulthood and I had to unlearn that behavior as it was no longer conducive or valuable to me - it instead made me into the bully I had originally opposed. Everything one encounters in life builds character - but character can be a positive or negative thing depending on the nature it takes and the circumstances surrounding it.

[BuckSparkles]

It can build character.

I am much more independent and strong of an individual than I was when I was bullied.

I also loathe myself and constantly obsess over how pitiful and weak I was during those years and have an exceptionally vengeful outlook that shows little mercy towards those who I consider bullies.

So yeah, character.

[Malachi256]

Bullying is a whole spectrum of behavior.

At some level, everyone deals with pecking order type "bullying", and of course dealing with it builds character. It's part of growing up. And of course, there is a line that shouldn't be crossed.

I dealt with plenty of, what I would call, minor bullying as a kid and while it wasn't pleasant, I felt that learning how to deal with it was part of growing up ("building my character"). I never had to deal with over-the-line bullying, but I had at least one friend who did, and was glad that my group of friends helped this person through that time.

[TITAN308]

Correlation doesn't equal causation. I was bullied as a child and learned swiftly that responding with inordinate violence was the swift answer to make the bullying stop. Fast-forward to my teens and early adulthood and I had to unlearn that behavior as it was no longer conducive or valuable to me - it instead made me into the bully I had originally opposed. Everything one encounters in life builds character - but character can be a positive or negative thing depending on the nature it takes and the circumstances surrounding it.

Pretty much this. There is a legitimate time for violence and a time not to answer with violence.

What kills me is people who think violence, much like homicide, can only be an act of evil or lower intelligence. This is simply not true.

[Tastyfish]

Yes.
But its a character issue on both ends.

[Jester Joe]

That's like asking if having an alcoholic father can build character.

[TITAN308]

That's like asking if having an alcoholic father can build character.

Well it does teach the child that booze can turn people into monsters.

Not saying its not a shitty situation, but virtually anything can be a learning experience.

Kind of like kids of crackheads growing up and getting out of the ghetto and becoming self sufficient because they saw first hand what shit can do. These types of stories are not uncommon.

[Aucald]

That's like asking if having an alcoholic father can build character.

It can, but it's the long way around and there are definitely better ways to build character. Getting positive growth as a person from bullying, or being the child of an alcoholic parent, is pretty much growth by accident or sheer luck. In most cases it's just going to tear you down - especially if you have no support structure or assistance in making it through it.

[Duridi]

That's like asking if having an alcoholic father can build character.

This.

There are better ways to build character. Being a retard should not be necessary to build another person. Where one person might be torn apart and built back up, another person has just gone down the drain by being a bully, so I really do not see the gain.

[Vurdah]

I would argue you have two different things going on:

- being bullied and doing nothing about it does not build character

- being bullied then dealing with said bully can certainly build character

I will state if all a kid does is run away crying to an adult every time they are bullied nothing of value is learned. I would argue this is basically what most people would call a "liberal" in the making. Always looking to a higher power for protection. This grooms them into adulthood and I don't personally find this an attractive trait.

/flamesuit

Leave it to Titan to say that a bullied kid running away would be considered a liberal in the making. Funny story. My cousin is a hardcore conservative. When he was younger (and now as a 28yo adult) he would start shit and get bullied because of it and then come running to me to protect him. So I guess if you have someone who starts shit and then runs and cries to someone for protection that means they are a conservative in the making? See what I did there.

[GennGreymane]

The victims of bullying get the punishment usually so nnot really.