Have you ever cheated on your spouse?

[Redroniksre]

So to be completely honest i have cheated once early on in the relationship with my now-ex of almost 4 years. I admitted it and i took all the responsibility for it. We made it work and our relationship was a little stronger for it. However because she was younger she has had a few temptations, and recently we had moved in together and a week or so ago she admitted she wanted to move back to her old town and see another guy she had a crush on for almost a year now. I will never condone cheating, it never solves anything and it always comes to light. I don't believe cheaters are inherently bad people, obviously, but flawed, mentally or whatnot.

[Tulune]

Nope.

That's all.

[Deleted]

sexual problems/uncontrollable temptations are overrated. we have progressed so much in human sciences that if one cheats, its his ignorance about knowing themself.

[Spectral]

So to be completely honest i have cheated once early on in the relationship with my now-ex of almost 4 years. I admitted it and i took all the responsibility for it. We made it work and our relationship was a little stronger for it. However because she was younger she has had a few temptations, and recently we had moved in together and a week or so ago she admitted she wanted to move back to her old town and see another guy she had a crush on for almost a year now. I will never condone cheating, it never solves anything and it always comes to light. I don't believe cheaters are inherently bad people, obviously, but flawed, mentally or whatnot.

I think your overall post is spot on. That said, the bolded is just incorrect. People do cheat and get away with it. I did, and I don't think I'm a particularly good liar. Given the number of relationships I had and the number of people that I found out cheated (I only found out about one), my best guess would be that someone cheated and I didn't know it, just as a matter of odds. I don't know the percentages, but I do know that people cheat and get away with it.

[Spiral Mage]

I voted for loyalty but in all honesty, I'm pretty open in general.
I do NOT believe in CHEATING AT ALL. In the sense .. you have sex or emotionally invest in another behind your partner's back. If I was drawn to someone else, and felt strongly enough about it, I'd talk to my partner about the reasons why and see if there's a compromise there.

I feel that no matter how much you love someone, it's NOT impossible to find someone else who offers you traits or aspects you do not find in your chosen partner, which may be appealing enough for you to wish you could spend some time with that person. But having a fling based on like-able traits, is not the same thing to me. If you LOVE your partner, and you would ALWAYS choose them in the end. Then it's just a fling with someone else, that's not a threat your relationship.

Like, in this story, where the main guy is married to a pretty proper house-wife and then one day, he meets this bold, daring and sarcastic woman who is a strong, "tough customer" like he is. And yes, he enjoys hanging out with her and wants her sexually, but when he ends up with her, he tells his wife: "I felt nothing. It was just sex. Sure it was fun but I love you, not her. I'll never love her, I'll only ever love you. When we have sex, it means everything to me. When I had sex with her, it was just physical, there were no emotions behind it."

That's what I mean, he just had a fling. Hell, even if you REALLY like the person you have that fling with. If in the end, you don't wander emotionally (in the sense of deep love), then no matter how good a friend she is, she's just a fling. You love your partner, that's the end of it. And I say flings are harmless, but .. what's harmful .. is the lies, and/or lack of communication about it.

Be honest about who and why. Even if you don't act on it, if your partner thinks you are, or might .. then communicate, don't just deny and clam up about it.

No one is ever going to be EVERYTHING you want all in one person. You will always find a few "I wish he/she was more .." aspects about them. Nothing is ever perfect.

[yetgdhfgh]

I once cheated on a game of scrabble does that count?

[Vorality]

people always demonize cheaters, but I think someone does something to be cheated on in the first place.

Temptation is a pull, but the person being cheated on definitely does some pushing too.

Lol, no reason to cheat. If you dislike a person to the point where you'd cheat on them, end the relationship. Then go on about your business with others.

Whether it be girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, husband...cheating is a disgusting thing to do. If you don't like that person, end it. Don't be a fucking retard.

[Redroniksre]

Lol, no reason to cheat. If you dislike a person to the point where you'd cheat on them, end the relationship. Then go on about your business with others.

Whether it be girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, husband...cheating is a disgusting thing to do. If you don't like that person, end it. Don't be a fucking retard.

I don't believe it has anything to do with disliking the person you are with, but i agree it is probably the worst thing you could do to them and yourself.

[pateuvasiliu]

I'm not married, but I wouldn't even ''cheat'' on someone I'm dating.

I've been on the receiving end when I was younger and it felt like absolute shit.

[AeneasBK]

It was early in the relationship, I wasn't at the time "that" into her, and the relationship wasn't too serious. We're engaged now, and I can't see it happening again, but I couldn't in good conscience claim to have "never"...

- - - Updated - - -

I think your overall post is spot on. That said, the bolded is just incorrect. People do cheat and get away with it. I did, and I don't think I'm a particularly good liar. Given the number of relationships I had and the number of people that I found out cheated, my best guess would be that someone cheated and I didn't know it, just as a matter of odds. I don't know the percentages, but I do know that people cheat and get away with it.

It's best to not get too worked up over the idea and just focus on the relationship that you are in. Imo.

[Stuffs]

No. Being able to end a relationship before sleeping around isn't some grand moral statement, it's just basic human decency.

people always demonize cheaters, but I think someone does something to be cheated on in the first place.

Temptation is a pull, but the person being cheated on definitely does some pushing too.

Someone being a shitty partner doesn't give you a free pass to be an idiot. If the person is an asshole, break up with them. Doing anything else just says you're a morally bankrupt person too, possibly more so.

[Rudkobing]

A million, billion times. or never....

What were we talking about?

[zephid]

No, of course not.