If your partner was to cheat on you would you rather...

[Deleted]

Because of something that happened within my social circle recently, this is a topic I've been discussing a lot. Me and my girlfriend disagree on it. I would rather that if she was going to cheat on me it was with someone that she had grown to love, and ended up being together as a couple, because then it wouldn't have all been for nothing. She says she would rather it was just a one night stand because it would just have been a physical act, and that she couldn't stand the emotional betrayal of knowing I had fallen out of love with her and in love with someone else.

How do you guys feel about it?

[Gamdwelf]

Don't cheat on your SO.

[ellieg]

It personally wouldn't matter to me. Once someone cheats on me im going to cut all contact with them. Id love to be spiteful and hope it was a one night stand just so they fucked everything up for nothing, but honestly couldn't care.

[Revi]

I'd prefer it if it was a one-off. Being cheated on with sex once is bad, but being cheated on with someone my partner has apparently been seeing for a long time and falling in love with would be much worse.

[Deleted]

Your poll needs a 3rd option because it's all irrelevant to me why

[Azadina]

How about no cheating at all? Break up first, then do what you please.

[Deleted]

How about no cheating at all? Break up first, then do what you please.

that's the ideal situation, but if it had already happened?

[Azadina]

that's the ideal situation, but if it had already happened?

The relationship is over in either case, so, what's the difference?

[Gamdwelf]

that's the ideal situation, but if it had already happened?

You could learn what led to the situation like if you were not providing what your SO needed out of the relationship and why they were unable to communicate that to you.

Why care what they did exactly.

[Darsithis]

I wouldn't care, our relationship would be over.

[Deleted]

The relationship is over in either case, so, what's the difference?

well personally I'd rather all the heartbreak wasn't for nothing, I'd at least like to see some good come out of it instead of just some sloppy drunken dalliance.

[Azadina]

well personally I'd rather all the heartbreak wasn't for nothing, I'd at least like to see some good come out of it instead of just some sloppy drunken dalliance.

If my SO felt she would be happier with someone else, then as much as it would hurt me, I'd want her to go with that someone else. If she cheated first, then I wouldn't really care.

[Hyve]

If you actually do love your partner, you're not first of all, going to cheat on them, and secondly you wouldn't develop (or let develop) those feelings for another person.

Just be an adult about it. If you're not feeling the relationship is going anywhere, and you're falling for another person, just end it...

[Rixis]

I wouldn't care what it was, I'd sling her out.

[Dug]

I chose option two but really your poll needs more choices. It doesn't matter what their reasoning is or the circumstances of it. I'm not into open relationships and if you cheat on me we're done. No if and or buts about it.

And if you're like my friends ex who claimed "the devil made her do it" I'll laugh especially hard while dumping all of your shit on the front lawn and locking the door on your ass. If you're gonna cheat at least own up to it you being a shitty person with no self control and take whatever shit comes your way.

[Deleted]

If you actually do love your partner, you're not first of all, going to cheat on them, and secondly you wouldn't develop (or let develop) those feelings for another person.

well that's not strictly true. it's possible to cheat on someone you love, human emotion isn't so linear. cheating is often a result of how you feel about yourself, not the other person. not that I'm condoning it, I have never cheated and if I was ever cheated on I would end the relationship immediately because the trust would be gone.

I also believe that it's possible to, at the very least, have residual feelings for someone you've moved on from, if not fully be in love with two people.

[negawonka]

I would much rather it be purely sexual, because then I really wouldn't care. I do not own her body and have never asked her to promise to remain physically faithful to me - closest thing is a polite request not to do it in our bed. If I am not satisfying her then that is something I need to address and if it has gotten to the point that she can't control herself then that is me not being receptive to her needs.

[Kaleid]

I have to wonder how old OP and his relationship is. Because, to me, throwing away a ten-plus year relationship/marriage over a one-night fling seems like a bad idea. But, to answer their question directly, I would rather she fall in love with someone else, or out of love with me. Sex without love is meaningless. You don't have to love someone to have some fun. Three-ways exist in marriages and other monogamous relationships. Also, what if the relationship was never exclusive?

If your partner cheats on you, talk to them about it. Find out why and what you can do to fix the relationship. All long-term relationships have issues, but I would never throw any of mine away over one little issue. If your partner is no longer happy and there is nothing you can do to change that, then so be it. However, don't throw a tantrum and end the relationship in a huff. Be a big boy and use your words.

[Deleted]

I chose option two but really your poll needs more choices. It doesn't matter what their reasoning is or the circumstances of it. I'm not into open relationships and if you cheat on me we're done. No if and or buts about it.

And if you're like my friends ex who claimed "the devil made her do it" I'll laugh especially hard while dumping all of your shit on the front lawn and locking the door on your ass. If you're gonna cheat at least own up to it you being a shitty person with no self control and take whatever shit comes your way.

obviously in the real world there are a lot more emotions you can feel from being cheated on, I'm just curious what everyone thinks is the best/worst of these two situations.

[Breccia]

I guess, if someone was to hit me with their car, I'd rather it be an accident than intentional. People feel bad about accidents, and tend to be more careful drivers in the future.