The perfect body is a lie

[Independent voter]

Lady says she's happier now that she's embraced her weight.

I've known women who struggled with their weight who from my point of view were already thin. They would argue with me about how "fat" they were.

I think that if your female and not born with the best genetics life can be difficult. In my grandpa's day there were a lot of men who prefered "big" girls and parents would even say comforting things to girls they deemed "too skinny".

Much more to read at the link

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandst...ife-lindy-west




I dislike “big” as a euphemism, maybe because it’s the one chosen most often by people who mean well, who love me and are trying to be gentle with my feelings. I don’t want the people who love me to avoid the reality of my body. I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable with its size and shape, to tacitly endorse the idea that fat is shameful, to pretend I’m something I’m not out of deference to a system that hates me. I don’t want to be gentled, like I’m something wild and alarming. (If I’m going to be wild and alarming, I’ll do it on my terms.) I don’t want them to think I need a euphemism at all.

“Big” is a word we use to cajole a child: “Be a big girl!” “Act like the big kids!” Having it applied to you as an adult is a cloaked reminder of what people really think, of the way we infantilise and desexualise fat people. Fat people are helpless babies enslaved by their most capricious cravings. Fat people don’t know what’s best for them. Fat people need to be guided and scolded like children. Having that awkward, babyish word dragging on you every day of your life, from childhood into maturity, well, maybe it’s no wonder I prefer hot chocolate to whisky and substitute Harry Potter audiobooks for therapy.

Every cell in my body would rather be “fat” than “big”. Grownups speak the truth.

Over time, the knowledge that I was too big made my life smaller and smaller. I insisted that shoes and accessories were just “my thing”, because my friends didn’t realise I couldn’t shop for clothes at regular shops and I was too mortified to explain it to them. I backed out of dinner plans if I remembered the restaurant had particularly narrow aisles or rickety chairs. I ordered salad even if everyone else was having fish and chips. I pretended to hate skiing because my giant men’s ski pants made me look like a chimney and I was terrified my bulk would tip me off the chairlift. I stayed home as my friends went hiking, biking, sailing, climbing, diving, exploring – I was sure I couldn’t keep up, and what if we got into a scrape? They couldn’t boost me up a cliff or lower me down an embankment or squeeze me through a tight fissure or hoist me from the hot jaws of a bear. I never revealed a single crush, convinced that the idea of my disgusting body as a sexual being would send people – even people who loved me – into fits of projectile vomiting (or worse, pity). I didn’t go swimming for a decade.

As I imperceptibly rounded the corner into adulthood – 14, 15, 16, 17 – I watched my friends elongate and arch into these effortless, exquisite things. I waited. I remained a stump. I wasn’t jealous, exactly; I loved them, but I felt cheated.

e each get just a few years to be perfect. To be young and smooth and decorative and collectible. That’s what I’d been sold. I was missing my window, I could feel it pulling at my navel (my obsessively hidden, hated navel), and I scrabbled, desperate and frantic. Deep down, in my honest places, I knew it was already gone – I had stretch marks and cellulite long before 20 – but they tell you that, if you hate yourself hard enough, you can grab a tail feather or two of perfection. Chasing perfection was your duty and your birthright, as a woman, and I would never know what it was like – this thing, this most important thing for girls.

I missed it. I failed. I wasn’t a woman. You only get one life. I missed it.

Society’s monomaniacal fixation on female thinness isn’t a distant abstraction, something to be pulled apart by academics in women’s studies classrooms or leveraged for traffic in shallow “body-positive” listicles (“Check Out These 11 Fat Chicks Who You Somehow Still Kind of Want to Bang – No 7 Is Almost Like a Regular Woman!”). It is a constant, pervasive taint that warps every woman’s life. And, by extension, it is in the amniotic fluid of every major cultural shift.

Women matter. Women are half of us. When you raise women to believe that we are insignificant, that we are broken, that we are sick, that the only cure is starvation and restraint and smallness; when you pit women against one another, keep us shackled by shame and hunger, obsessing over our flaws, rather than our power and potential; when you leverage all of that to sap our money and our time – that moves the rudder of the world. It steers humanity toward conservatism and walls and the narrow interests of men, and it keeps us adrift in waters where women’s safety and humanity are secondary to men’s pleasure and convenience.

[Ripster42]

Was that story really: I sat on the couch the whole time because I was afraid my being out of shape would make it hard to do activities that get you in shape?

[Tennis]

I am confused as to what exactly the point of this article is?

[Mad_Murdock]

So in closing, I just want to say "We're all different, some attain a great body easier than others. Let us all strive to be healthier and at the same time accept that not everyone is going to have a super great body"

Fair enough. Next!

[Eazy]

Perfect body -> expectations.

There's nothing like a Perfect Body, because expectations change. /thread

To other people who are going to argue about that - being fit =/= being healthy, stop this bullshit.

The most important thing is to being happy with your own body(but don't tell other people what they should do and shouldn't do with theirs, someone has a few KG too much? Tell them that it isn't healthy, but don't force them to do that, it's their own life).

[Bathory]

Of course the "perfect" body is a lie, because everyone's perfect is different. The only "perfect" body you should be striving for, is the one that fits what you want. Love what you got imo. I know I'm not someone's perfect, but man, I do enjoy what I've got.

[Kathandira]

As I imperceptibly rounded the corner into adulthood – 14, 15, 16, 17 – I watched my friends elongate and arch into these effortless, exquisite things. I waited. I remained a stump. I wasn’t jealous, exactly; I loved them, but I felt cheated.

e each get just a few years to be perfect. To be young and smooth and decorative and collectible. That’s what I’d been sold. I was missing my window, I could feel it pulling at my navel (my obsessively hidden, hated navel), and I scrabbled, desperate and frantic. Deep down, in my honest places, I knew it was already gone – I had stretch marks and cellulite long before 20 – but they tell you that, if you hate yourself hard enough, you can grab a tail feather or two of perfection. Chasing perfection was your duty and your birthright, as a woman, and I would never know what it was like – this thing, this most important thing for girls.

I missed it. I failed. I wasn’t a woman. You only get one life. I missed it.

If you ask me, those who tell you that your youthful days are the best days of your life, never had fun while being an adult.

Those who tell you that your best days are when you are young, are the ones who feel it necessary to get in all the fun you can before it is time for parenthood, and corporate slavery.

Those who don't follow the typical path, find that the best years, are all of them. I am still out there having a blast, and looking great at 35. It is never too late to pick yourself up, and go out and have a blast! And best of all, sex only gets better as you age. Why deal with limp fish ass teens when you can have a rough and wild ride with some one with experience?

[Whoops]

It's not that goddamn hard to stay in shape.
Just eat a little less, and move a bit more.

I agree that you shouldn't be "shamed" for being a landwhale, but that doesn't mean we can't agree as a society that being fat is not something anyone should be content with.

If you don't personally care about beauty standards, fine, but don't cry when other people don't find you attractive.

[fooliuscaesar13]

Anyone who believes a perfect body exists has been falling for marketing schemes. And while I do not find this woman attractive, she should love herself no matter what her shape / size is. Never allow others to dictate your happiness and well-being.
That all being said - if I were her, I'd worry that her weight is unhealthy, but that's between her and her doctor.

[Eazy]

Of course the "perfect" body is a lie, because everyone's perfect is different. The only "perfect" body you should be striving for, is the one that fits what you want. Love what you got imo. I know I'm not someone's perfect, but man, I do enjoy what I've got.

^ Then you're perfect for yourself, that's enough. ;-)

Anyone who believes a perfect body exists has been falling for marketing schemes. And while I do not find this woman attractive, she should love herself no matter what her shape / size is. Never allow others to dictate your happiness and well-being.
That all being said - if I were her, I'd worry that her weight is as unhealthy, but that's between her and her doctor.

Exactly.

[Bathory]

If you ask me, those who tell you that your youthful days are the best days of your life, never had fun while being an adult.

Those who tell you that your best days are when you are young, are the ones who feel it necessary to get in all the fun you can before it is time for parenthood, and corporate slavery.

Those who don't follow the typical path, find that the best years, are all of them. I am still out there having a blast, and looking great at 35. It is never too late to pick yourself up, and go out and have a blast! And best of all, sex only gets better as you age. Why deal with limp fish ass teens when you can have a rough and wild ride with some one with experience?

Completely agree. I find it kinda sad when people subscribe to all of that nonsense.

[Deleted]

Replace everything she said with her being a smoker, or an alcoholic

Obesity is the smoking of our era, it's a pretty simple health issue, really

"Having it applied to you as an adult is a cloaked reminder of what people really think, of the way we infantilise and desexualise smokers.

Smokers are helpless babies enslaved by their most capricious cravings.

Smokers don’t know what’s best for them. Smokers need to be guided and scolded like children.

Having that awkward, babyish word dragging on you every day of your life, from childhood into maturity, well, maybe it’s no wonder I prefer a pack of cigarettes to whisky and substitute Harry Potter audiobooks for therapy."

[Kathandira]

but don't cry when other people don't find you attractive.

The best part is, as you get older and meet a wider variety of people, you learn that everyone has different tastes. A heavy woman will find a man as long as they are fun, and outgoing.

Something I observed while working very large in office buildings. Most of the women who have giant diamonds on their hands, are bigger. All the prissy skinny bitches, are unmarried. You can make your own observations, but this is what I see on an every day basis.

[Whoops]

The best part is, as you get older and meet a wider variety of people, you learn that everyone has different tastes. A heavy woman will find a man as long as they are fun, and outgoing.

Something I observed while working very large in office buildings. Most of the women who have giant diamonds on their hands, are bigger. All the prissy skinny bitches, are unmarried. You can make your own observations, but this is what I see on an every day basis.

Married women no longer have to maintain their appearances as they already have partners.
Interesting that you would refer to fit women as "skinny bitches" though.

[Socialhealer]

Something I observed while working very large in office buildings. Most of the women who have giant diamonds on their hands, are bigger. All the prissy skinny bitches, are unmarried. You can make your own observations, but this is what I see on an every day basis.

those women have lower standards? you don't know until you meet all of their partners.

oh and we know 50% of marriages end in divorce so ye half of them are in for a bad time.

[IIamaKing]

"Perfect body" may be a lie, but a healthy body isn't, and no way that land whale is healthy.

[Grimbold21]

She can embrace whatever she wants. Doesn't change the fact that she's obese and that's unhealthy.

[Crissi]

There is no such thing as the perfect body, because that is very subjective. However, while fat people shouldn't be made to feel super depressed, being super fat shouldn't be normalized either.

Like my perfect body isnt going to be the same as those that value super fitness. Its going to be having sizeable breasts, good sized hips (and with that comes the thighs), with a somewhat flattish stomach.

[IIamaKing]

Perfect body -> expectations.

There's nothing like a Perfect Body, because expectations change. /thread

To other people who are going to argue about that - being fit =/= being healthy, stop this bullshit.

The most important thing is to being happy with your own body(but don't tell other people what they should do and shouldn't do with theirs, someone has a few KG too much? Tell them that it isn't healthy, but don't force them to do that, it's their own life).

Going to be hard to be happy when a few years down the road the health issues associated with land whale fatness kick in.

- - - Updated - - -

Married women no longer have to maintain their appearances as they already have partners.
Interesting that you would refer to fit women as "skinny bitches" though.

Maybe if their husband a cuck.

[Mad_Murdock]

. All the prissy skinny bitches, are unmarried. You can make your own observations, but this is what I see on an every day basis.

Prissy skinny bitches? Hmm, you sound a bit salty there calling them bitches. Not skinny women or skinny girls. No they have to be bitches. On the flip side, you said heavy women, not heavy bitches! So if they are heavy, they are women, but if they are skinny, they are bitches?