Teenage boys who show empathy attract 1.8 more girlfriends than boys who don’t

[Deleted]

I would never dare to flirt with a female colleague.

Wouldn't want rape and sexual harassment charges filed against me, would I?

Love feminism.

You could befriend them, and maybe through them meet someone.

[Aucald]

She is very positive of how people do things.

Perhaps, but I tend to see it as more or less true to life. People aren't usually an extreme of one side or another (in this case empathy vs. assertiveness). We have and express both qualities to certain degrees, but both can be a positive quality. The extreme of one or the other is typically more negative - extreme empathy without action makes you look craven or act like a doormat, and extreme assertiveness makes you look or act like an asshole. Neither of those things are good things to be in a relationship.

[BuckSparkles]

You could befriend them, and maybe through them meet someone.

Possibly. I am very cautious around female colleagues though. Very, very cautious.

You just never know who is safe and who is a proud independent women who reads Huffington post and thinks all men are out to rape them....

[Deleted]

What's the point of this "scientific research" seriously ?

As if young boys were interested in becoming friends with girls with nothing sexual involved

[Deleted]

I know that feel.

I just don't understand how you are supposed to locate a female after college.

Work? Sexual Harassment, Rape, and Patriarchy!

Grocery? Who the fuck wants to be bothered while at the store?

Bar? Yeah...no. Gross people.

Club? Worse people than bars.

Like, where do you find them?

Not to mention if you are ugly you are a creep. At least from my experience, which is why i don't approach women anymore. Too dangerous.

[Cosmic Janitor]

Didn't find my joke punny huh?

Well back on topic, I'm not an empathic guy. Perhaps it's me being desensitized too it. The only time I feel for some one is when they're in a shit situation that ain't their fault.

Nah it was okay, you were just no longer in the top three to make that joke :P.

[Deleted]

Possibly. I am very cautious around female colleagues though. Very, very cautious.

You just never know who is safe and who is a proud independent women who reads Huffington post and thinks all men are out to rape them....

And neither is it safe for a woman like myself to be around men all the time, yet I don't bitch like a little pussy in every single thread and cripple myself and then feel sorry for it.

[BuckSparkles]

Not to mention if you are ugly you are a creep. At least from my experience, which is why i don't approach women anymore. Too dangerous.

I have never heard of being labeled ugly, myself. I am a bit socially awkward, from what I have gathered from people I meet, so I suppose that is my fatal flaw.

Least I am good at making people laugh. Maybe part of my problem is I mold into whatever stereotype somebody thinks me within reason. Need to adapt to different social groups.

[Kraenen]

The difference between men and women here is not so much what they're attracted to as much as it is what they'll say they're attracted to.

No need to make a distinction, we know what kind of erotica women go to (anonymously) compared to men thanks to the internet.

[BuckSparkles]

And neither is it safe for a woman like myself to be around men all the time, yet I don't bitch like a little pussy in every single thread and cripple myself and then feel sorry for it.

Yikes starting off nice now laying on the heat. I am just being honest, feminism has made me afraid of women. It's that poisonous in my eyes to women of today.

[Fugus]

This is a sad study.

Boys with empathy get more friends whom are girls and get friendzoned while boys without does not have as many girls who are friends but end up getting more girlfriends. This isn't disputing a myth at all. It supports part of it that was also known.

And as far as girls changing their tastes as they get older, as anecdotal as it is. I have seen the opposite. Their taste in men are near exactly the same as adults. The difference you see is in their selection among the men. The good ones they liked typically ended up taken and off the market unless they want to be a homewrecker and them seen as the villain any way they cut it. And the main ones left at that point end up being the guys with the traits they liked in failed careers and dead lives or the guys with the traits they didn't like but at least they could provide and were available because they couldn't get little to nothing when they were younger. Many times with children from previous relationships with those men which further limit the number of men with the traits they want willing to try and make something work.

So it isn't so much their tastes changing, but that they are in a situation where their options leave them settling.

I know it is anecdotal on my part for the description but as a 34 (35 as of this month) year old man, that is what I have seen over my life.

[Gaexion Ramza Beoulve]

in high school, there was really only a couple guys that i trusted were genuine with me and not just faking it to get in my pants.

i'm guessing most of the empathetic guys from this study were probably faking it just to get some.

PROTIP: They were all faking it.

But not me, I'm a genuine good guy, you know you can talk to me about anything right? I think you're pretty great and I really like you for you.

[Deleted]

Yikes starting off nice now laying on the heat. I am just being honest, feminism has made me afraid of women. It's that poisonous in my eyes to women of today.

See, you mention not having any female friends and not being together much with your female colleagues, yet somehow have gotten the impression that they are all evil feminists that will cut your balls off at first sight...
Turn off the damn internet then, the world is far less scary than what it portrays. It will quite literally only become more deep-seated and illogical, if you continue in that route.

Sorry for the harsh words, but sometimes it needs to be said when people are only trying to create problems to hold themselves back.

[BiggestNoob]

Can confirm, I'm beta as fuck and I get all the girlfriends.

[Fugus]

PROTIP: They were all faking it.

But not me, I'm a genuine good guy, you know you can talk to me about anything right? I think you're pretty great and I really like you for you.

I have heard of that person referred to as a "Friendly Henry". Someone who tried to be the friend at the start waiting for his chance to catch her when she is upset and on the rebound to get in like that where she is so mentally compromised that she is looking for anyone to fill the void at the moment.

Those are truly messed up people.

[Afrospinach]

people thinking of this alpha and beta thing, are why i wish we would have started up a nice, big eugenics program.

i swear to god, there needs to be a forced sterilization system for this type of refuse.

So what would you breed, alphas, betas or omegas?

[Tempguy]

See, you mention not having any female friends and not being together much with your female colleagues, yet somehow have gotten the impression that they are all evil feminists .

No, he says feminism has him afraid of dealing with women. My friend is female and chill as hell (sad I gotta say that like having a female friend is unique) However, even with her I sometimes worry. We are 100% platonic, but the way shit is now a woman doesn't even have to say anything and someone else will roll in and get you in trouble. I recall a recent case where a female in college stated she does not feel she was raped but everyone else is telling her she was raped and they expelled the male.

That is the kind of stuff that is out of hand.

I have a child. I plan on marrying the mother and I feel she is leagues ahead of American women. However, the state of feminism in America makes me worried that it will taint her mind or otherwise bite me in the ass somehow.


Is my fiance evil? Nope
Is my friend evil? Nope.
Will that save me from possible extreme witch hunts from some rando feminist that needs to mind their own business? Nope.

- - - Updated - - -

Can confirm, I'm beta as fuck and I get all the girlfriends.

I have a story. Anectodal as fuck, but my personal experience.

This is one of MANY but they all are about the same.


- Be me.
- Have crush on girl that looks like Alecia Key's twin.
- She Likes you too and you start dating.
- Be nice and empethatic.
- Her mom loves you
- Her big bro that hates guys likes you.
- Her little brother calls you bro.
- Get dumped.


- Be me in the Army.
- Be 25% hotter than you were first time around
- She clearly wants to shred cheese on your abs
- Start dating again cause she is throwing vagina vibes at you
- Be nice and empethatic
- Get dumped.

-Get upset
- Talk to bro about how you don't give a fuck about women
- Kinda dislike ex you just broke up with 2 hours ago
- Get call from her mom asking to say by
- Go over home, business as usual
- make fun of ex cause now you notice all her little flaws
- "Your teeth are kinda big as fuck.jpg"
- Try to leave after saying by
- Can't leave cause she won't let go of your hand
- She asks for hug
- Presses boobs into chest and puts hand in shirt
- Clearly wants kiss
- Kiss cause you have been trying to GTFO for 15 minutes and she thinks you are joking when you tell her get the fuck off you.
- Wonder why she is crying and talking about how she misses me and how I should call her.

- Realize a good portion of women are some kind twisted for liking men that clearly despise them and see them as nothing more than a wet hole.

[Freese]

Why does everything seem to center on sex as the end goal with the "alpha/beta" discussions? As someone said earlier, we are higher order creatures blessed with the ability to go beyond our animal instincts. I don't care how successful another man is in the bedroom with other women. It doesn't affect me in anyway. The girls I have dated in the past liked me for who I am and I did not waste my time or try to be more "alpha" to woo women who were not interested in me.

Getting rejected hurts, but there's billions of other women on the planet who would be suitable partners. My self-esteem does not hinge upon validation from women.

[Damajin]

The thing that most of these pushover 'men' don't get is you can still be large and in charge and have that empathy streak too, but it's something you have to temper or you'll shift from hot zone to friend zone real fast. Using empathy to spice up the attraction and be supportive/protective when necessary is fine, building the foundation of your relationship with it isn't.

That's of course assuming you want more than the pump and dump, if you do you've got to be the man and not the friend, but the man can always have a bag of tricks one of which includes empathy.

[Deleted]

No, he says feminism has him afraid of dealing with women -snip

And as I noted, turn off the internet. We have this freak cases pop up once a month, and people act like the sky is falling.

It isn't. I won't say that feminism isn't doing harm, it absolutely is. But the notion that the entirety of society is crumbling beneath its weight, is quite frankly tiresome and also attributes it far more power than it actually has. That every woman is just this one sentence away from being a ball cutting fiend, is quite honestly offensive.