If you had empathy it wouldn't actually matter why they feel hurt. You would feel bad for them. That is the way empathy works.
If you had empathy and the reason they feel hurt has to do with something you did (whether intentionally or not), you would feel even worse for them. That is the way empathy works.
I think it's pretty clear why you are struggling to come to grips with this issue....
Nope, and why would I?Do you feel bad friendzoning people?
Empathy? Yeah, I've got that in spades.
But there's also something like growing up, and acknowledging the facts.
I know in the first few pages age was mentioned as a factor already. Just not correctly.
As you grow up you know how feelings aren't always mutual, and that you have to get over it.
Sometimes you're the squirrel, sometimes you're the nut.
It's the younger people that are emotionally if anything.
omg.. he/she don't love me /crycry.
Quite frankly, when you get friendzoned it's almost always on you, and you alone.
You were the one that approached the "relationship" dishonest.
You've allowed it to go places it was never meant to go.
And why would I feel sorry about you - the friend zoned person - for that now?
If anything, I might struggle (circumstance dependent) with not getting pissed, because you've betrayed our friendship.
"The pen is mightier than the sword.. and considerably easier to write with."
Giving someone an option to remain friends, to enjoy what you already have, if possible, isn't something bad. To be friendzoned is only bad if you have deep emotions for someone, and the best cure is just to stay away, but that's up to the friendzones person to decide.
Mother pus bucket!
If your friends are sad, no matter what the reason is, don't you feel sad as well?
I think that's the point they're trying to make here.
No one says you should feel guilty to reject someone, but you care that they are in pain, right?
"My grandma died" = oh, thats terrible. Are you alright?
"You didnt feel the same way about me as I do about you, and now I feel alone and worhtless" = whatever, I don't care, not my fault. *whistle happy tune*
Doesn't sound right.
Mother pus bucket!
Yes, I feel pretty bad, as one-sided attraction is pretty frustrating.
I usually offer consolation sex to make myself (and I guess them too) feel better, as long as they are not incredibly ugly, fat or have some kind of physical deformation.
its not friendzonig, its building a harem......
“Listen, three eyes,” he said, “don’t you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.”
Guys! Even the friendzone has different levels.
The worst level of friendzone, and the one that matters most, is when 'the crush' is aware of the romantic feelings from 'the nice person' and actually exploits the hell out of it. You know: "Hey, nice guy, can you come over and fix my PC?" / "I need someone to drive me to [location]" / "I'm hungry. Would you cook me some food?", etc.
That is a really bad way of taking advantage of the imbalance within the relation-/friendship... even if the exploited person is dumb/desperate enough, to endure the humiliation with full awareness.
At this level, both persons should immediately break up, at least for a while. Even as 'the crush' you should feel at least a little bit responsible for the situation, if it lasts longer than it should and causes severe heartache. Everything else is selfish and cold-hearted.
Last edited by mmoc5461ee9f4c; 2016-07-22 at 02:47 PM.
No I don't really feel bad for them, it's not something that could be helped.
If they keep trying after being told it isn't going to happen, then I'd pity them if anything else. They just can't accept the facts.
"Believing something is not an accomplishment. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because “strength of belief” is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. Listen to any “die-hard” conservative or liberal talk about their deepest beliefs and you are listening to somebody who will never hear what you say on any matter that matters to them — unless you believe the same. Wherever there is a belief, there is a closed door."
I think a lot of people are confused in this thread. The friend zoning it refers to is not wanting a romantic relationship with someone, but treating them in such a way that they'll always hold a hope it can happen. It's pure manipulation. 'Stringing along', if you will. The friend zoned person won't ever get told they don't have a chance, or they will, but very indirectly as to not be 100% straight. It's happened to me, and i can't believe how fucking stupid i was go along with it, but at the end of the day, i was being taken advantage of. I doubt anyone who actually does this will comment in this thread though, and it also comes naturally to many people. Sure a lot of people love having someone right under their little finger ready to do anything they ask in hopes of something more.
I used to. I've been learning not to. because feeling bad for saying no is how I got into the most trouble before, because than no would turn into a yes that I didn't mean but only said because they were sad and then I would be far more sad, becasue I just got stuck doing something i didn't want to do in a first place. there is nothing wrong or sad with saying no, even to someone close to you.
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I honestly don't understand how you would even accomplish that sort of manipulation. like... how do you not get a hint if the person "stringing you along" dates other people?
A little bit, but only when they didn't get the hint. There wasn't a chalkboard with their status, but it seemed clear enough to me.