Republican Election 2016 - Donald Trump Megathread [OFFICIAL]

[Aggrophobic]

Jesus, the crazy part of the right is starting to eat the rest of the right. What the fuck is wrong with Breitbart and the people that take that kind of full-on conspiracy theory nonsense seriously. That article was legitimately painful to read.

Well, you know. It's a bit like what this judge https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VslCHyJlOlc is talking about. They simply don't know how to deal with their situation so they want this "god" to jump in there and fix it all. All they have to do is give him complete power.

"This is how democracy dies", I belive he said.

[Mormolyce]

I'll give this whole election one thing. It's turned "Fundies say the darnest things" into a treat to read.

http://www.fstdt.net/QuoteArchives.aspx?Archive=1

Almost makes you feel sorry for the religious right.

Almost.

[Mormolyce]

Something I found on 8ch. Please confirm/deny

I Haven't Had Sex in Weeks. I Blame Donald Trump.

The mental image of Trump grabbing a pussy is enough to put anyone off sex.

[Spectral]

I was scolded for saying 30k for a Tesla was not that expensive; I am unsure what "Rich" entails I guess.

They seem to be doing a national average, where 100k+ a year is the upper 25% of households in the US.

I'd call 100k a year middle class... I could be wrong though.

Yeah, obviously the exacts depend on the city, but as a generality, I'd call $100K/year for a household comfortably middle class, bordering on upper-middle class. I guess the headline could be referring to the $250K/year, but income's a pretty poor measure of whether someone is "rich". It's hard to put an exact number on it, but I guess when I think "rich", I'm thinking of people that are top 1% in either income or wealth.

I don't really doubt the point though - the most educated and highest income people are unlikely to support Trump.

- - - Updated - - -

Something I found on 8ch. Please confirm/deny

I Haven't Had Sex in Weeks. I Blame Donald Trump.

Article is pretty funny:

On one hand, the thought of being touched by my husband, a man, after spending day upon never-ending day listening to Donald Trump’s sexually assaultive language, is not a pleasant one. On the other, we are both so obsessed with the election that our combined anxiety is killing our sex drives.

I wonder if her husband actually feels this way (which would be pathetic) or if he's just playing along with his mentally fragile wife.

One lady friend in a long-term relationship said she wasn’t necessarily opposed to sex, but she just didn’t have the time between refreshing David Fahrenthold’s Twitter and worrying about all the ways in which we’re all gonna be screwed if Trump wins.

There's signaling behavior and then there's this. Apparently we've reached a point where mere disagreement or mere revulsion isn't sufficient to indicate how much we dislike a political candidate - the candidate is literally ruining their lives.

I guess the article could just be read as a melodramatic performance to indicate that she's really bothered by Trump. That's probably the charitable explanation - the alternative is that she's pretty unstable and is in a joke of a marriage.

It’s not just women who are scared sexless (H/T Carrie Bradshaw, probably). Marin says, in her experience, men are affected too. “A lot of people might stereotypically believe that women are more ‘sensitive’ in general," she says, "but I haven’t found that to be the case with this particular election. Men’s libidos can be just as sensitive as women’s.”

These men really need to do something to raise their T levels. If a political candidate ruins your sex drive, it might be time to spend less time on Twitter and more time in the weight room.

[Benggaul]

These men really need to do something to raise their T levels. If a political candidate ruins your sex drive, it might be time to spend less time on Twitter and more time in the weight room.

Because there's absolutely no merit in the notion that being very depressed or angry might affect your sex life...?

Granted, I'm sure there's some hyperbolism in play here, but it would not surprise me in the least were it true--just as much for those against Hillary as for those against Trump, though with Trump there is that extra added visual thanks to his being a constant creep.

[Spectral]

Because there's absolutely no merit in the notion that being very depressed or angry might affect your sex life...?

Granted, I'm sure there's some hyperbolism in play here, but it would not surprise me in the least were it true--just as much for those against Hillary as for those against Trump, though with Trump there is that extra added visual thanks to his being a constant creep.

If someone is "very depressed" about a political candidate, it might be time to detach from Twitter or CNN for a bit. Trump or Hillary aren't what's ruining the marriages of these over-the-top neurotic people. I cannot remotely imagine any political development that would significantly impact my desire level.

[Spectral]

So because they aren't as apathetic as you are they're over-the-top neurotic?

Yes, being unable to have a normal, healthy relationship because of an obsession with politics is over-the-top neurotic.

[Benggaul]

If someone is "very depressed" about a political candidate, it might be time to detach from Twitter or CNN for a bit. Trump or Hillary aren't what's ruining the marriages of these over-the-top neurotic people. I cannot remotely imagine any political development that would significantly impact my desire level.

Really? You can't fathom why someone might be depressed or enraged over the current election? I guess you're not capable of thinking past the next 5 minutes, then. What a wonderfully, blissfully ignorant world you must live in. I wish you well in it.

[Spectral]

Really? You can't fathom why someone might be depressed or enraged over the current election? I guess you're not capable of thinking past the next 5 minutes, then. What a wonderfully, blissfully ignorant world you must live in. I wish you well in it.

No, I cannot fathom why someone would be that invested in an election (short of being employed by a candidate) that they're unable to set it aside at the end of the day and engage in normal intimacy with their husband or wife. I especially can't imagine why some ridiculously privileged Cosmopolitan writer would be so upset about this that they cut off their spouse.

Like I said though, I suspect it's a performance wherein the writer is battling to show the strongest affected response, demonstrating just how very holy they are.

[Spectral]

You're adorable.

Here's the rub, everyone is different. You, for instance, are acting like you're better than people because you don't give a fuck about the future of our nation. Adorable.

I certainly care about the future of the nation, but I'm also capable of compartmentalizing, realizing that my actions have little impact on the country, and living within a healthy relationship without much regard to who other people vote for.

Your deep concern and moral uprightness is duly noted though

[GennGreymane]

I found this copypasta and its pretty funny

A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

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1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'

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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.

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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

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13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

PS: Only share this with friends who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!

[DeadmanWalking]

Really? You can't fathom why someone might be depressed or enraged over the current election? I guess you're not capable of thinking past the next 5 minutes, then. What a wonderfully, blissfully ignorant world you must live in. I wish you well in it.

You are just going to have to get over it because you don't live in Asstrumpistan, you live in America jack and elections mean the candidate that convinces the majority that they should be president wins and that means you don't always win because you are not a representative of everyone. Fair elections mean that one candidate is not guaranteed to win.

Furthermore instead of getting pissy and furious how about you take the opportunity to learn a lesson, you know like not making a party nominee who can't control his personal behavior because he is a cretin and has no clue about politics. Hell every single other republican nominee probably could of beaten Clinton easily with the exception of Christy who still has a bridge scandal but even he would not of been caught on video saying to grab women by the pussy or making a cameo in porn.

[Benggaul]

I found this copypasta and its pretty funny

It's actually an edited version from the Bush/Gore election if I remember correctly. I still think the cut at therapy is a bit much.

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You are just going to have to get over it because you don't live in Asstrumpistan, you live in America jack and elections mean the candidate that convinces the majority that they should be president wins and that means you don't always win because you are not a representative of everyone. Fair elections mean that one candidate is not guaranteed to win.

Furthermore instead of getting pissy and furious how about you take the opportunity to learn a lesson, you know like not making a party nominee who can't control his personal behavior because he is a cretin and has no clue about politics. Hell every single other republican nominee probably could of beaten Clinton easily with the exception of Christy who still has a bridge scandal but even he would not of been caught on video saying to grab women by the pussy or making a cameo in porn.

Somehow I think you're quoting the wrong person. :P Or you didn't follow the thread/context of the conversation that was going on in the one you're responding to.

[DeadmanWalking]

Karl Rove has thrown the towel into the Ring, Trump can't win. http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_58...b000d0b15727dc

And this is the guy who had an on air meltdown in the last election because he didn't think it was possible for Romney to lose. He does say there is a tiny chance Trump could win but doesn't feel Trump has the necessary skills to pull off the game of poker he would need to get the 'straight royal flush' he needs.

[Felya]

Karl Rove has thrown the towel into the Ring, Trump can't win. http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_58...b000d0b15727dc

And this is the guy who had an on air meltdown in the last election because he didn't think it was possible for Romney to lose. He does say there is a tiny chance Trump could win but doesn't feel Trump has the necessary skills to pull off the game of poker he would need to get the 'straight royal flush' he needs.

Karl Rove is the unsung villain in the whole blame game for Trump. Trump's tact, is directly out Karl Rove's playbook. From 2000 primaries to 2008 elections, that magic is all Karl Rove. The only difference between the two, is Trump is far more overt about it. He pretty much is burning the candle at both ends for what defined neocons.

If Rove wasn't done already, win or lose for Trump, Rove is done.

[JohnBrown1917]

I found this copypasta and its pretty funny

Fancy Trading New York/Amsterdam back for Suriname?

[Deleted]

Just saw "Arthas Takes Up Residence in Taiwan" in bluetracker and thought "Trump will get Arthas back from China too!"

[TrumpIsPresident]

Tom Hanks killed it on SNL last night. This sketch of a Trump supporter, Doug, going on Black Jeopardy had me dying.

Man, so this is what SNL is these days?

That skit was just a bunch of G rated Black stereotypes with occasional comments from Tom Hanks talking in a southern drawl.

Garbage.

[Trump]

Trump up by 2 points. He is going to crush Hillary the Harpy in a landslide on Nov 8th

http://www.investors.com/politics/tr...-ibdtipp-poll/

[Felya]

Man, so this is what SNL is these days?

That skit was just a bunch of G rated Black stereotypes with occasional comments from Tom Hanks talking in a southern drawl.

Garbage.

you almost got the joke...