Millennial women may be delaying marriage out of fear of divorce says new study

[Tennis]

There was once a time when chivalry existed, men actually initiated relationships, and being pursued by a gentleman was considered an honor for a woman. Late night coffee house talks, sunset beach walks, and dreams of a joint future once created an intimate environment that laid the foundation for sparks to ignite, hearts to fuse, and relationships to develop.

But today, many Millennial women are trading dating with future intent for instant gratification and pleasure. Young adults think they can pick and chose the perfect mate by viewing a picture of who’s hot and who’s not, all the while leaving character, values, and depth aside. The reason why online dating sites such as Tinder, Hinge, or OkCupid have become so popular among young people is that they take risk and vulnerability out of equation. Consequently, we live in an age where many women are trading life-long intimacy through marriage for temporary pleasure, and where the hookup and resulting walk of shame are more likely than a walk down the isle.

But most Millennial women still want to be married. In fact, in a recent Gallup survey, 56 percent of unmarried Millennials said they want to marry one day, but are choosing to delay marriage. The question is why.

Too Much Debt. One reason why Millennials are delaying marriage is outstanding debt. Unlike previous generations that married young, the average college graduate is entering the workforce with an average of $30,000 of student loan debt. In fact, finances are the third most common reason Americans cite for why they are not yet married.

Lack of Marriageable Men. For women who want to marry and choose to wait, inevitably this means that the pool of eligible bachelors is becoming smaller by the day. In 2012, there were 34 percent more women than men who graduated from American colleges, and the U.S. Department of Education expects this gap to continue to increase through 2024 (see chart below). This education gap means that young women may need to be more open to finding suitable matches with men who have careers or educational backgrounds that vastly differ from their own—but who are a compatible match in other areas, such as faith, values, and worldview.

Fear of failure. Another reason why Millennials are choosing to delay marriage could be more foundational—a fear of divorce. This makes sense considering that a significant percentage of Millennials grew up in broken homes. For example, according to a recent Pew survey, 38 percent of Millennials had divorced or separated parents.

Perhaps that is why more Millennials are choosing cohabitation over marriage. Millennial women often think that cohabiting is a step towards marriage, yet studies show that it is often a step towards relationship instability and can increase the risk of divorce after marriage.

ReBranding Marriage

Marriage has gotten a bad reputation among Millennial women, as its often portrayed by the culture as the dream smashing, life altering, and bank accounts draining institution that will leave you lonely and miserable. What Millennials need to hear instead is the truth about marriage, which is associated with a wide range of benefits for both men and women, including financial security, lifetime satisfaction, and stability.

For Millennials to value marriage, there must be a rebranding that will engage them at the grassroots level. One way to do this is by using digital messaging. Whoever controls the message, controls the meaning. Organizations can influence the Millennial generation with a positive message about marriage by using micro-targeted digital campaigns that communicate that marriage is relevant, fun, empowering, exciting and safe. A number of organizations are attempting to change the narrative on marriage, including Millennials for Marriage and I Believe in Love, which use digital media to share real stories about relationships and marriage from real people in an effort to redeem the beauty of marriage among the masses.

But digital media can never take the place of relationships, which is why another important tool for rebranding marriage is personal modeling. There is a saying “I do not care how much you know until I know how you care.” Millennials in particular value mentorship, and modeling healthy (not perfect) marriages is a powerful way to change how Millennials see marriage, simply by more married couples living out its beauty in their daily lives.

New York Times columnist David Brooks writes: “marital happiness is far more important than anything else in determining personal well-being.” Today, it can be difficult for many Millennials to choose marriage over cohabiting or delaying marriage. However, if we begin to change the narrative about marriage among young people, perhaps more Millennial women (and men) will be able to overcome their fears about marriage and embrace it as the gift that it is.

http://family-studies.org/millennial...-and-marriage/

Yikes.
Quite the titanic problem. At this point you just have to hope you are one of the lucky ones and make sure you set yourself up for success.

Do you agree with the points made in this article?

[icausewipes]

Heh

MGTOW been saying this for years. The article might as well copy and paste MGTOW's message and call it their own.

[Gilbergrape]

Marriage is a pretty raw deal in the west. But fear not. Immigration will fix this.

[zenkai]

If you don't do something out of fear of failing, you already failed without trying.

[Tennis]

If you don't do something out of fear of failing, you already failed without trying.

Indeed. A lot of people these days are scared to take any risks.

[noidentity]

Sucks to be them.

[Gadion]

http://family-studies.org/millennial...-and-marriage/

Yikes.
Quite the titanic problem. At this point you just have to hope you are one of the lucky ones and make sure you set yourself up for success.

Do you agree with the points made in this article?

I actually don't see delaying marriage as such a bad thing. This allows people to mature a little, focus on their own education and creating a stable self-identity. Concurrently you are less likely to choose a partner based on a whim, since you would presumably have a better idea of your own needs, desires and personal weaknesses.

I also feel that the article is ideologically based on the idea that a person needs another person to be happy. If you go and look for happiness in other people, you neglect your own responsibility to ensure that you can live a life of contentment and you burden others with an impossible task. Marriage could be a gift, if you don't trick yourself into thinking that you can get others to solve your problems for you.

Just my 2 cents.

[Sapphire35]

Yep. Getting married is risky as hell in today's world. Don't blame people one bit for wanting to stay single.

That being said, if you happen to find someone that's right for you, I wouldn't give up your chance to be happy with them.

Both of you just need to not be gnarr gnarrs and keep your damn pride in check lol. Someone's gotta calm the f**k down during them arguments lol.

Edit: clarification

[unbound]

Yikes.
Quite the titanic problem. At this point you just have to hope you are one of the lucky ones and make sure you set yourself up for success.

Do you agree with the points made in this article?

lol

From the Institute of Family Studies...you can ignore it anything that they kick out.

The overarching project of that institute and several others that keep popping up is large-scale tax evasion and media manipulation in the service of political and religious ideology. As the foundations launder their political contributions through tax-exempt “charities” like these, they build a legitimate facade for disseminating their message to gullible (or culpable) media, and bolstering the careers of their ideological foot-soldiers.

[Tennis]

I actually don't see delaying marriage as such a bad thing. This allows people to mature a little, focus on their own education and creating a stable self-identity. Concurrently you are less likely to choose a partner based on a whim, since you would presumably have a better idea of your own needs, desires and personal weaknesses.

I also feel that the article is ideologically based on the idea that a person needs another person to be happy. If you go and look for happiness in other people, you neglect your own responsibility to ensure that you can live a life of contentment and you burden others with an impossible task. Marriage could be a gift, if you don't trick yourself into thinking that you can get others to solve your problems for you.

Just my 2 cents.

Delaying to avoid a marriage with a poor chance of success sure. Delaying due to laziness and lack of urgency can come back to hurt you later on. Nobody wants to be the lonely 50-60 year old man when all their friends and family have kids and grandkids.

[Annoying]

Eh, I've read a whole lot of reasonings behind why millennials are or aren't doing things. The most relateable and reliable one I've read is also the simplest. Millennials are poor. Marriage and children are expensive.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...y-re-poor.html

[Rudol Von Stroheim]

I doubt I'll ever be married personally.

I grew up within one of those broken families. I also have an inherit lack of faith or trust in others, I'd actually consider it more of a character flaw at this point. Some scrutiny is healthy but living your life believing the world is out to rake you over the coals isn't a good way to go on living; whether it is in fact true or not. It also doesn't help, as noted, that such positions have made me faithless. I am godless in every sense of the word and have no hope for the future.

This culminated in me giving up on life in many ways. I'm falling apart physically, even as mentally I begin to realize where I had gone wrong and try to shore up the cracks within my own mind. I grew up the last decade or more thinking ill of what could be. Even despising married couples, calling them stupid shit like "breeders". No interest in marriage. Love. It can do a number on young men. I think we fail to be our best selves when we're not beholden to the idea that one day the fruits of our labor will bring us much happiness and satisfaction.

Now I'm less than a year shy of 30. Not sure where I am going or what I am going to do to save myself. I guess you could argue that I am at least "awake" at this point? That doesn't change the fact though that I have to rebuild myself, from the ground up. Hard to do when you've spent a lifetime distrustful and growing hateful of everything around you. To the point you sour and rot.

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Eh, I've read a whole lot of reasonings behind why millennials are or aren't doing things. The most relateable and reliable one I've read is also the simplest. Millennials are poor. Marriage and children are expensive.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/article...y-re-poor.html

Yes but you actually gain strength by pooling resources, so marriage is inherently more beneficial to the poor than anyone.

You know, assuming both parties work in the first place.

[Deleted]

Who can blame them with those pathetic weak liberal "men" who never heard the word duty in their lives.
And i might add, seen girls pelvis shake just in porn movies (and i dont mean twerk).

The other side of the coin is marrying a feminist... lo and behold you make a good amount of money, path of success is at hand, victory is ripe for the taking, then you marry a feminist in disguise...

[Independent voter]

"half of all marriages end in divorce", we've all heard it. Thing is the rate has been decreasing since its high, it's now like "a third of all marriages end in divorce".

[Nihilist74]

Good for them. They can take the time to get their careers and their life to where they want them to be first. Probably a good thing for everyone.

[Kathandira]

I blame parenting. I was just discussing something similar last night. From my personal observations, I see a decent amount of young adults who were not given the tools to mature earlier. There is a lack of education of consequence, and a the tools needed to succeed aren't being given in some cases. This is why you see a rise in young adults living at home until their late 20's or 30's.

Average first time home owner in NJ is now 33. It is partly due to housing being so much more expensive than it used to be. And partly due to the fear of taking on such a huge responsibility (and the entire road to get there).

Parents are raising children, not adults. That needs to change.

[Cyberowl]

Who can blame them with those pathetic weak liberal "men" who never heard the word duty in their lives.
And i might add, seen girls pelvis shake just in porn movies (and i dont mean twerk).

The other side of the coin is marrying a feminist... lo and behold you make a good amount of money, path of success is at hand, victory is ripe for the taking, then you marry a feminist in disguise...

Or the insecure bitches who need to establish their dominance on a mmo forum. *shudders*

[Deleted]

Or the insecure bitches who need to establish their dominance on a mmo forum. *shudders*

You amuse me flower power guy.

[Cyberowl]

You amuse me flower power guy.

You as well, my insecure friend.

[oxymoronic]

kids these days make less cause they work less and easier. like the chick said, occam's razor here has to be right, RIGHT?

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Or the insecure bitches who need to establish their dominance on a mmo forum. *shudders*

did you just call a man a bitch? gays really need to learn how to use slurs before using them. or maybe just refrain from the childish behavior all together.