Why are some people glutton for punishment?

[Deleted]

I got a friend who just got back with his abusive alcoholic boyfriend for the 4th time. He knows he won't change yet has dumped this really nice lad he was dating in favour of his ex. It's something I will never understand, anybody know somebody like this or even is somebody like this?

[Bollocks]

Dependancy I suppose. . Most cases that I witnessed here, seem to be related to the feeling of stability the partner gives to the abused, a mother just standing the hits because of the son/daughter.

You should aks your friend what does his ex have that he keeps coming back and that he should seek therapy

[Deleted]

Dependancy I suppose. . Most cases that I witnessed here, seem to be related to the feeling of stability the partner gives to the abused, a mother just standing the hits because of the son/daughter.

You should aks your friend what does his ex have that he keeps coming back and that he should seek therapy

I given up trying tbh, all I can do is just listen again once they separate again

[Swizzington]

It's a complex psychological thing. He probably had a poor upbringing, where he was undervalued and unappreciated. He now feels like he doesn't "deserve" better, and if he were to ever be happy he wouldn't know how to handle it, and surely it would all come crashing down. He's comfortable and secure in his misery. Obviously none of this is conscious and if you told him he would say "wtf no that isn't true". But really, it is.

I have a friend who is the same way.

[Gamdwelf]

I got a friend who just got back with his abusive alcoholic boyfriend for the 4th time. He knows he won't change yet has dumped this really nice lad he was dating in favour of his ex. It's something I will never understand, anybody know somebody like this or even is somebody like this?

Idk why do I keep hanging out with women who have boyfriends?

[Deleted]

Idk why do I keep hanging out with women who have boyfriends?

What's wrong with having friends with boyfriends / girlfriends?

[ItachiZaku]

He got that bomb dick. bomb dick goes a long way.

[Deleted]

He got that bomb dick. bomb dick goes a long way.

WTF is that

[Kaganfindel]

It's really hard to watch people keep making the same mistakes, especially when the mistake is the same abusive, toxic person over and over again. Sometimes I'm fervently thankful that my sister lives hundreds of miles away so my daughter can't learn anything about relationships from her (and deeply guilty for treasuring her absence in our lives). I also worry a lot that something in the way I raise her is going to make abusive people attractive to her - after all, my sister and I were raised by the same parents. I do a lot of things differently than my parents did, but I can't be sure I changed the right things.

[Gracin]

Some people will just never get it. A friend of mine, has two kids, two ex-husbands, and is currently dating a new guy after just barely getting out of court for the last divorce. That marriage lasted like 2 months(if that), their entire relationship was like 4 months. Her and I have always had a good relationship, never dated but came close to hooking up a couple times. While texting with her one night, while single she said she didn't know who she was when she wasn't in a relationship. To which I responded that, not knowing who you are while single, probably isn't helping her find the right guy to be with. I told her try being single for a while until you figure it out. A week later she drunk texts me, asks why we never dated, I explained the timing was never right, she got pissed and stop texting me. A week after that she hooks up with the now second ex-husband.

[unbound]

I got a friend who just got back with his abusive alcoholic boyfriend for the 4th time. He knows he won't change yet has dumped this really nice lad he was dating in favour of his ex. It's something I will never understand, anybody know somebody like this or even is somebody like this?

Really not any different than people that staunchly defend what is happening with WoW. Blizz is objectively providing less and less, and dumbing down the game, with each expansion...yet some people defend it as the best game ever, which is a laughable argument to everyone not caught up in the PR hype.

Some people value the comfort of what they are familiar with over a potentially healthier relationship. They value a known evil more than an unknown evil, even if that unknown evil is almost certainly less than the known evil. They tend to be more susceptible to fear-mongering of the unknown / unfamiliar.

[Annoying]

Well, I mean, I am a moderator for GenOT...

Joking aside, I view it quite similarly to unbound in that many people will choose something they know that's less than ideal rather than choosing the unknown. I do it in traffic, where if there's a car going a bit too slow in front of me and another car pulls into the other lane, I usually won't pull behind the other car because it might be even slower.

[Mihalik]

Some people literally enjoy the drama.

My best friend has been dating this now, 28 year old live with his parents, irresponsible, unemployed manchild for 4 years now. When a while back she broke up with him (they do that about 3 to 4 times a year), she dated a good friend of mine for a while. Physics Professor at one of Madrid's largest universities. Great guy, better looking than the other dude, no drama, responsible etc. He even didn't mind the fact that she had a 2 year old from a previous relationship (Manchild isn't the father...the father is her ex-husband from a post break up, one night stand...). She broke up with him after 5 months, because I quote -He was too normal and boring.

Another friend literally only dates dudes with issues. That way she can bitch and moan about all men being awful after every relationship ends up in the bin after 3 months.

There are people who thrive on drama and dysfunctional nonsense. I'm past judging or caring.

[Jotaux]

Because anything else is boring for some people.

[Deleted]

Most people are afraid to be alone.

[Justpassing]

Probably something to do with his dick. It's always something to do with the dick with homosexuals.

[zenkai]

I got a friend who just got back with his abusive alcoholic boyfriend for the 4th time. He knows he won't change yet has dumped this really nice lad he was dating in favour of his ex. It's something I will never understand, anybody know somebody like this or even is somebody like this?

The abusive person tends to make the victim feel like a POS and is not worthy of anyone else. The victim tends to push the negative out of their mind and only remembers the good times.

[Deleted]

Well they're getting married now so I gotta pretend it's amazing now

[coyotestrange]

i myself am a masochist of high proportions and yonder

[Deleted]

i myself am a masochist of high proportions and yonder

do you enjoy nipple clamps and pegging