What do you do exactly against a bully?

[Ichifails]

I'm not gonna list specific age since I realized even into adulthood there will be a bully at work, just like in your high school years. But what are you supposed to do against them anyway? I used to think, no matter what someone tells you or the rules say, you should just beat the living shit out of them and scare them straight, but this can feed a vicious cycle that makes shit worse. But if you don't do that, it's not like tattling will help (that's just as bad) or anyone will care. In fact, it's sad just how little people care until the victim snaps and kills his tormentor or worse so I'm trying to figure out what these people could really do when all options are just seemingly hopeless.

If you are anything in real life like you are on these forums, I'm amazed you only have one bully.

[rayden54]

That leaves only one option, and I'm not even sure if murder WOULD work.

Then you'd just have to deal with bullies in prison.

[Spunt]

Grab a brick and go upside their head.

[shadowmouse]

In fact, it's sad just how little people care until the victim snaps and kills his tormentor or worse so I'm trying to figure out what these people could really do when all options are just seemingly hopeless.

The old joke has it that the Army issues clothing in two sizes -- too large and too small. One size fits all solutions tend not to work.

The closest we can get in this situation is to understand that there are ways to get support, assistance and counseling for bullying. Their services may not always be perfect, but they are a start. No, @Tsugunai, cheaping out and trying to get mental health advice through Gen-OT isn't going to fix things.

[Deleted]

Call them names.

[Deleted]

I would say the best way would be to speak with your boss privately. But be aware that, if your teammates are engaged with the bully (not sure if I'm using the right word here but I think you get the point), you won't get away whether you speak with your boss or not because they will team up against you, and you should seek a different team or company. Otherwise, if they are not, then I think you should overcome that situation.

This may help as well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeDt9dgFXFk

[De Lupe]

Tactical application of recording surveillance is recommended. Catch them in the act and say good bye.

[breadisfunny]

beat them up and take their lunch money.

[Spiral Mage]

In school: Usually nothing.
If you fight him (or her, I've seen girls as the bullies lately). You'll take 100% of the heat for it (especially if it was a girl bully!). No one will take your side.
If you tell a teacher or staff, they will tell you it's your fault it's happening for some utterly illogical reason, so they're not going to do anything.

It seems (and I've worked in schools on and off over the years), that the Principals are the ones truly terrified of bullies. Which is pretty funny because one of them .. refused to do anything about like, a 10 year old kid who was bullying his class mates. She was petrified of him. So he was allowed to do anything he wanted, while she hid in her office and dismissed that he was doing anything wrong or made up excuses why she wasn't going to do anything.

So you could tell the teacher and they may actually care/want to do something but are rendered powerless by the lack of administrative backup. (There ARE schools with very strong Principals, who step up and put that kid down .. when I was a kid, I went to a school with a strong one. No kid got away with ANY form of bullying, at all, period, or he'd make them regret it. He was your best friend or your worst enemy, your choice.)

There *IS* the option of calling the police. In many states, bullying is a felony and the cops don't give a flying fuck about what the school staff thinks/does, they will take matters into their own hands. In a city I lived in a few years ago, I told a cop I knew about how useless the Principal at the school was, and she scowled. "The next time that kid takes a swing at someone, you call me immediately. If the principal won't do anything *I will* .. assault is assault, I don't care about the age of the person, I don't care where it happened. I will come get the kid myself and drag him outta there in handcuffs."
I asked her if the Principal could/would try to stop her. She laughed. "Let her try," she said.

So if there's a cop on the force you could talk to that's as badass as she was, you might find a cop who'd take matters into their own hands for you. It IS a crime to bully, it's just not actively enforced, unfortunately.

[Deleted]

Some people just seem to attract bullies/being bullied. It seems to be a part of the social picking order at any age (even the elderly pick on each other)

I guess my answer would be to change (improve) yourself so you stop attracting them. Assert some dominance.

[Grishnaar]

THe first time they cross the line (whether it's touching you, verbally insulting or whatever crosses your line), you say: "Leave me the fck alone. DOn't talk to me, don't touch me. Don't even address me. Otherwise, I swear I will gnaw your fingers to the bone".

You can use anything you want instead of "gnawing fingers" xD, cause the point is to be honest in your statement.

And never, NEVER back down. If you can't stand up, that's ok. But find someone who will.

Bully's are a form of evil, to put it simply, and evil always needs to be stopped.

[Vash The Stampede]

Depends on how they bully. Verbal bullying is something I deal with just fine, as I just usually tell them to fuck off. It's good to know more about the bully, as the more dirt you know about them, the more you can demoralize them back. If it's physical bullying, then you have no choice but to get physical back. Gotta make it hard for them to do this, otherwise they'll just continue.

People who bully are usually unhappy in life, and do it to relieve their stress.

[ItachiZaku]

I remember moving when I was younger, and at the new school there was some dude who kept saying off shit. I really didn't pay him no mind, as I didn't really know anyone yet. Maybe a week in, he sort of bumped into my from behind while I was at a table getting supplies, and I turned around and my elbow smashed really hard him his midsection and he crumbled, I asked "you say something?" cuz i legit thought he said something that didn't sound like "sorry" cuz i wasn't really paying too much attention. Welp, everyone took this as "standing up" to the bully and he calmed the fuck down and I was somewhat cooler. 1 for being the new kid, and 2 for taking care of the local bully problem.

Later on in life (high school -> now), simply being 6'5" and menacing takes care of most of these issues.

[Deleted]

There was a bully in my 8th grade shop class who relentlessly picked on me. One day I had enough and told him to meet me outside after school. I let him throw the first punch...but he was so big and slow and I easily dodged it and started punching him as hard as I could. I knocked him to the ground and all the kids watching urged me to kick him. Instead, I told him that I had to catch my bus and left. The next day he left me alone and after awhile we became friends. He made a metal hammer in shop and then gave it to me. I have that hammer to this day 49 years later.

Back in the real world the bully would have probably given you a hammering rather than a hammer.

[Forgettable]

Just bully them back. Since that's not the response they're looking for, eventually they'll stop.

[lonely zergling]

In my expierence doing nothing doesnt work. You have to strike back when the bully doesnt expect it.

Dont get caught when striking back. It needs to be a his word against your word scenario and you shouldnt damage him too much (leave no permanent damage! IMPORTANT).