Do you think physical discipline on a child ever teaches anything good?

[De Lupe]

If done correctly, yes.

If done incorrectly, it causes more harm than good.

[Deleted]

If spanking is the only way you can control your child, you failed a long time ago.

"monkey see monkey do" is how you get kids to act the way you want em too and it starts at or before birth.

[Chirri]

"Physical discipline" with pain and terror as the goal is counterproductive. It's also the only tool some people are even aware of, because some peoples' lives are shit and it's frankly hard to crawl out of that hole.

I was spanked very occasionally as a small child - what stuck with me was the shock and shame of the situation, not pain. I understood that a spanking would be a consequence of continuing to do whatever bad thing I was up to, and chose to continue to do so... and thus I'd be spanked. I'm pretty sure I was forewarned each time. Spanks were bare handed, and while my bottom was well padded (diapered). I was spanked by a woman raised by Catholics, to give an idea of where she was coming from, but her intention was never to beat me or instill fear.

I would compare it to someone bumping a record player that's stuck repeating, to someone taking a bat to the record player and destroying it as far as my experience with physical discipline and the gradient it can fall upon. The term alone is vague, and even people who use the word "spank" and "beat" will define the words differently.

Different people respond to different punishments. The mild spankings I received as a small child (and the one slap I received as a teen) wouldn't have even been a blip on the radar of some children or teens. I believe it was appropriate for me at those times, and I don't feel things ever got out of hand. I was never, ever left with marks or other forms of physical damage. I never feared my mother. At most, I feared disappointing her.

All things told - for me the very mild spankings I received as a small child taught me that my mother wasn't lying when she told me there would be a consequence to certain instances of misbehavior. They taught me that I could trust her to let me know when I was getting out of line, that she would give me an opportunity to stop, and that if I chose not to stop then she would carry out the punishment as stated. It was something I needed to learn, and it taught me to trust and respect her words... because it wasn't a surprise. I was given my choices, and allowed to deal with the consequences. It also taught me that I could trust her not to lie about the severity of my punishments - there would be no suggestion of the spanking, only to be knocked around and broken.

Some people have much less self control. I can't speak for other parents or other children. But this was my experience, and how I feel things came together long term between myself and my mother.

[Tommi]

My mum hit me, my brother and sister once after we did shit wrong, and that was enough. The fear of being hit again was enough for us not to do shit we weren't meant to. At the time, I hated her, but now I'm older, I'm thankful for it. It taught me respect, something lacking in a lot of people today.

[Nnyco]

if you have to resolve to violence to teach something then there might be a problem with you

[May90]

I suppose it teaches them to bow to authority, to hate their parents and to believe that people are violent. Whether these things are good depends on the point of view.

I personally consider physically disciplining a child a form of child abuse. Hopefully the law catches up soon.

[glo]

Spanking kids is disgusting.

Biologically, when one is spanked, blood rushes to your rear and in turn your genitalia since the nerve endings on your butt are closely connected to your junk. So when you spank your kids, you're involuntarily stimulating their genitalia.

Seriously, this is basic biology.

[Nemrod]

It teaches children that adults who hit them cannot be trusted.

If you are the kind of person who'd harm a child, then you are the absolute worst kind of scum, and maybe you're doing your child a favour by teaching them not to trust you. The best day in that kid's life will be the day they get the fuck away from you.

That's the best answer.
It just shows that you absolutely failed in your job as a parent if you beat your children.

[OperationFerret]

That isn't true in the least. You make it sound like every kid out there is completely and openly responsive to anything their parents say, and will obediently follow. What's it like living in this perfect little world of yours?

You do know that, up until a certain age, a kid's parents are essentially omnipotent gods to them right? So there are plenty of non-violent approaches that can and will work - it's about doing the research and trying things out instead of taking the easy road.

Then comes adolescence where the parent essentially reap what they've sown during the earlier years.

[Rasulis]

I never lay a hand on either my son or daughter. Not that I was not tempted. My son between 14 and 17 was a real trial. I think that was when I started having white hairs.

The only time my father ever hit me was when I took the sail boat with a friend, and stayed out for the whole week. This was 1970s, so no cell phone. I came home, my mother and grandmother were crying, my grandfather was just shaking his head, and my father smacked me once pretty hard. That was the one and only time he ever laid a hand on me.

[Nemrod]

My mum hit me, my brother and sister once after we did shit wrong, and that was enough. The fear of being hit again was enough for us not to do shit we weren't meant to. At the time, I hated her, but now I'm older, I'm thankful for it. It taught me respect, something lacking in a lot of people today.

My kids being afraid of me is one of the worst nightmares I could ever have. I grew up in a family where everyone was afraid of my father, even though the worst physical abuse I got was a slap in the face once. But the constant threat of being physically or verbally abused made us keep everything from him, from school grades to money problems or how long we stay out on the weekends. I am not making that mistakes myself, with my own children.

And yes, I have two daughers who sometimes drive me almost insane, but physical or even verbal abuse is only a sign of how bad a parent you are.

[Witchblade77]

I've been slapped on a hand when reaching for things I shouldn't have been reaching for. in retrospect - I'm glad I got a slap that stung a little, vs major burns that would scar for the rest of my life, or other more permanent injuries. never been spanked though, at least not that I can remember - but I was also a pretty quiet kid, so there's that.

[Ryme]

Isn't nearly all the evidence pretty conclusive in saying it's infective at best and harmful at worst?

[Deleted]

with the proper application of force, in the right moment, for certain children, then yes, it helps, without a doubt.

[jimboa24]

I think spanking is useful as a tool of last resort. You shouldn't use it regularly, but your kid needs to know that if he really, really fucks up, there will be consequences. Ditto if he starts to act defiant and disrespectful. I say this as a kid whose parents did spank, but like I said, it was a tool of last resort. It kept me in line, which is good because I was a real shithead sometimes when I was a kid.

If a kid ever figures out that you won't ever physically discipline him or stop him, I think that gives him an edge if he's ever feeling particularly rebellious, maybe make him think that he can get away with anything, because if all you will ever ultimately do is use words, then how will you ever stop him if he decides to test you?

Oh, and spanking is legal in the U.S. There's a huge, world of a difference between using it as a tool of physical discipline, and just plain abusing your kid.

[Taeron]

To answer the OP question, yes, bad experiences can result in valuable lessons.

However, for me, spanking violates the non-aggression principle, which is part of my own moral code. Everyone must "live" their own moral code to properly preach/teach it and therefore see it spread to others.

There is also much evidence that spanking lowers IQ.

[Aleksej89]

Children are biologically made to best respond to physical discipline.
Just like a lioness will smack her cubs or growl if they do something seriously wrong.

Children are too young to grasp logic and reason, and will rarely respond to those.
But they will respond to natural instincts like fear and pain.

[TirielWoW]

It's illegal anyway now but still, do you think physical discipline teaches anything?

It taught me that there were consequences to my actions, and lines I couldn't cross (and that I couldn't manipulate my way out of them). But, that only works when you have parents who are able to properly express love, and able to discipline calmly. I was never disciplined by my mother when she was angry, and no one else was ever allowed to touch me.

[Taeron]

Children are biologically made to best respond to physical discipline.
Just like a lioness will smack her cubs or growl if they do something seriously wrong.

Children are too young to grasp logic and reason, and will rarely respond to those.
But they will respond to natural instincts like fear and pain.

Comparing humans to cats? Not only is that a bad argument, its also incorrect. No matter how many times I spank my cat for doing something bad, it will not learn.

[TirielWoW]

It teaches children that adults who hit them cannot be trusted.

If you are the kind of person who'd harm a child, then you are the absolute worst kind of scum, and maybe you're doing your child a favour by teaching them not to trust you. The best day in that kid's life will be the day they get the fuck away from you.

Gonna have to say that I never learned this.

Actually, it was the parent who didn't spank that I learned I couldn't trust.