Toilet Seat Ettiquette

[Puupi]

I don't turn the lights on in the bathroom when I get up to use the toilet in the middle of the night.

I do that, too. I don't like bright lights in the middle of the night, might ruin my sleeping when I'm back in the bed. However, when I'm sitting to the toilet in the dark, I'm making sure I'm sitting in the right place by my hand. Are you sitting down without "calibrating your position by hand" in the dark? Hoping your ass lands on the right spot? If you touch the toilet seat you will notice whether the seat is up or down.

During the day, I may be distracted, cause again, I'm not expecting the toliet to be dirty and/or the seat to be up. Then again, my husband never leaves it disgusting and he always put the seats down for us, even in his own bathroom.

How can you not notice?! I would literally need to close my eyes or enter the bathroom blindfolded to not see whether the seat is up or down.

[Azadina]

I do that, too. I don't like bright lights in the middle of the night, might ruin my sleeping when I'm back in the bed. However, when I'm sitting to the toilet in the dark, I'm making sure I'm sitting in the right place by my hand. Are you sitting down without "calibrating your position by hand" in the dark? Hoping your ass lands on the right spot? If you touch the toilet seat you will notice whether the seat is up or down.

I tend to do that aswell. I lift the lid in the dark, place my right hand on the edge of the right side of the seat, and sit down to the left of the hand. Can't miss it, when I know where my hand is.

[Jonnusthegreat]

In the middle of the night my brain is kinda on auto mode, so I'm not really doing things outside the normal motions, which wouldn't be making sure the lid is down so I don't fall in.

Same here. In the middle of the night when my brain is in auto mode I don't turn the light on to pee so I just aim at what I think is the toilet, so my wife better have done her job to lift the seat up or it's her fault I peed everywhere.

[Lollis]

Leave it down and learn to aim.

[Zeth Hawkins]

I would like to quote Fairly Odd Parents:

Cosma: "Would it kill you to leave the lid down?"

Wando: "Would it kill you to look before you sit?"

[Deleted]

simple solution,
Both parties sit down to take a piss.
No risks of accidental missing the target when your drunk, no chances of embarasing trouser dribbles. and zero chances of upsetting the missus.

[Mindark]

I don't think it's a problem, since it's never happened in my own home because everyone puts the lid down. It happened at my parents home once, but that's because one of my nephews left the seat up when they were younger.

I'm confused by this...if the lid is always down, wouldn't you be accustomed to lifting the lid every time you go to the bathroom? And wouldn't you be able to deduct that the seat is up or down when you go to lift the lid?

[crewskater]

Yeah ok.

When I go to other people's houses, I leave the toilet seat as I found it. If you come over and consistently leave the seat up, when it was most assuredly down when you got there, then you can go pee somewhere else.

You just proved my point, which was originally yours. Thank you!

[Elim Garak]

I don't believe there is any science behind it. Sounds like anecdotal evidence to me... even then, nobody has actually said what their health benefits have been.

The point was not about health benefits, but about hygiene. Piss is normally clean - that's SCIENCE. Health benefits that some people seem to believe in are IRRELEVANT.

I'm used to the second lid always being down. And what I said wasn't an exact rule when it comes to how I use the bathroom at night. Sometimes I don't check and I have fallen in because of that.

First you tell us that the lid in your home is always down and you never had a problem with it being up because your husband is that conditioned.
Then you tell us that even at your parents home your dad was always a downer in regards to the lid and you never had to worry about it.
Then you tell us that you fell into the toilet in such conditions before ONCE (was it southpark style?).
Then you tell us that at night you don't turn on the lights and cannot tell if the lid is down.

If it's always down you will have to move it up. Light or no light. You can tell if it's down. Light or no light. You must check. If you forget and sit down on it - you can't do shit (literally). So what's the problem?

[ramjb]

Leave the seat up. That's how I protest feminists at my institution who forced us to have unisex toilets. FIGHT THE POWER!

[Poopymonster]

She believes he has to lower the seat after he pees.
He believes he should lift it before he pees so he doesn't get any on the seat, but his obligation ends there.

Who is right, who is wrong!

At home, male housemates, the seat is up almost by default. So he's right.

At my GFs, the seat is down by default. When i'm there, I put it down when I'm done, or I sit and read while taking a leak. So she's right.

When I was younger, mixed gender household, it became a numbers game as to how I left it. 3 women,2 men, down. 3 men, 1 woman, up. Depending on who was working when.

In the end, we elected Giant Meteor and it's the end of the world.

[Deleted]

<snip>

With your form name, I find it very relevent that you have chosen to post in this thread

[Mehrunes]

Personally I close the lid before flushing since particles gonna particle. And cats gonna cat. Well, mine don't really do anything with the bowl deliberately, but they have dropped/thrown things inside by accident in the past. Plus I pee sitting at home anyway, I find it more comfortable that way. But if you close the lid to flush and then open it back up afterwards for the toilet to be more accommodating to the next user, because you prefer it visually, because the toilet god tells you to or don't close the lid for flushing in the first place because you have a separate toilet and bathroom so your toothbrush is safe (and what can get contaminated in such a case, toilet wand? soap dispenser? you're going to wash your hands after using them anyway) or because you don't care, then the guy is in the right.

I was always under the impression that women are people and as such should be capable of the monumental task of operating a toilet. But apparently some women manage to fall into toilets so maybe I should reconsider. And while there is some difference in average strength, the amount of effort needed to lower or rise the seat is negligible (and as such the strength difference doesn't factor in) and about the same. He has to rise the seat, she has to lower it. The same motion, just in opposite direction and yet somehow the latter results in a clusterfuck. And somehow the idea that it's courteous for a man to lower the seat if he lives with a woman is one sided. Quetzl already put it well before:

I've never understood this cultural idea that men should put the toilet seat down after peeing. It's basically become a trope, and women take it for granted that they're in the right. But I see this as an expectation for men to accommodate women without any accomodation in return, which seems a bit silly in a social atmosphere that continues to call for greater equality between sexes.

Also gotta subscribe to these two posts:

Third option: "Who gives a shit?"

Seriously. It takes maybe 2 seconds and 10 calories to put the seat up/down. So if it's not where you need it to be, just move it and do your business. My mother gets on about this all the time and it annoys me because it's such a stupid non-issue.

This is obviously the mathematically correct answer. The lowest amount of seat-moving required is just for whoever's using the toilet to put the seat where they need it.

Or you could just return the toilet to its original position - lids down. Both men and women do it, so I don't understand why this needs to be a him vs her thing. Because guys need to put 2 lids down if they pee? Is that little bit of extra work why men are being so argumentative about it?

It's generally human trait to act in argumentative way when someone is bitching at you. A defense mechanism.

I never had to argue with my husband over this. His father taught him to do it as a child, as he believed it was polite to put it back down if you live with women. Growing up, my dad did the same thing for my mum and us kids (3 girls).

Personally, while also finding it more polite to put it back down, I also think it should be returned to its original position after use, regardless of who uses it.

And chances are that someone in his family tree a man was bitched at by a mother or a partner for leaving the seat up because having to lower it and simply rolled with it for peace of mind. Since it was in a generation earlier than your husband's, it was before we knew about the particle issue of flushing and as such there wasn't a strong reason for close it as well, making it an issue focused on the seat itself.

There's a lot of different things in a household that you end up caring about when you live with people. Living with others means you can't just care about you and your own needs.

And lid aside, somehow that means leaving the seat down for women of the household, but leaving it up for men of the household is sacrilege, because reasons.

In answer to the OP, it's good etiquette to return the seat to the down position after using it. While others are correct that the least total effort is achieved by leaving the seat in the last position, is it really that much of an effort to be nice to your partner? I mean if one can't even bothered with such a simple courtesy for someone, why are you with them in the first place?

I get the feeling that people ticking the "He is right" option have never been in a successful relationship with a woman....

And why is this courtesy supposed to work in only one way?

You go to the bathroom in the dark? :/ The bathroom is the only room in my home that's always got a lamp lit.

Even when you're not even inside? Oo

Chicks who leave the toilet seat down seem to be the same ones who act super entitled or rude in other areas of life. I just let other men deal with them.

Didn't you get the memo? It only works one way. Toilet gods whispered so.

I find it pretty hard to take this sort of explanation seriously. I've never exactly found myself incapable of making sure the lid and seat were up before pissing in the middle of the night, regardless of what my expectations for their current position were. I've never fallen in just because I needed to take a shit. It's literally as simple as looking at the toilet and seeing how the lid and seat are currently positioned and it's something I can do even when I'm not actually conscious. If you can operate a door, I am quite confident you can operate a toilet seat.

I don't know, vertical vs horizontal hinge sounds like a challenge.

[Moratori]

Even when you're not even inside? Oo

Yeah, the cost of having the lamp lit is minimal.

[psiko74]

I always just lower the lid before i flush.

[Mehrunes]

Yeah, the cost of having the lamp lit is minimal.

Well, yeah, but it's kinda pointless oO Light switches aren't complicated enough to be a problem even when one is sleepy.

[psiko74]

You could always just piss on the seat and then blame her for leaving it down. Train her to lift it after she uses it.

[Seezer]

She believes he has to lower the seat after he pees.
He believes he should lift it before he pees so he doesn't get any on the seat, but his obligation ends there.

Who is right, who is wrong!

Crank a duke on the seat

[Vargur]

I've seen my husband pee sitting down a lot times while at home. Honestly, I think he does it more when compared to standing. He does stand, but I thinks it's only when he's rushing to do something.

It's not messy, relaxing and you can take your time. Maybe even make it a double.
And I think it might be healthier.

[Moratori]

Well, yeah, but it's kinda pointless oO Light switches aren't complicated enough to be a problem even when one is sleepy.

Makes you have to wait for it to achieve full luminance.