Amy Schumer's Leather Special

[Putin-Chan]

I thought she was the one who sexually assaulted someone else?

Found the story

http://www.vulture.com/2014/05/read-...la-speech.html

Finally, the door opens. It's Matt, but not really. He's there, but not really. His face is kind of distorted, and his eyes seem like he can't focus on me. He's actually trying to see me from the side, like a shark. "Hey!" he yells, too loud, and gives me a hug, too hard. He's fucking wasted. I'm not the first person he thought of that morning. I'm the last person he called that night. I wonder, how many girls didn't answer before he got to fat freshman me? Am I in his phone as Schumer? Probably. But I was here, and I wanted to be held and touched and felt desired, despite everything. I wanted to be with him. I imagined us on campus together, holding hands, proving, "Look! I am lovable! And this cool older guy likes me!" I can't be the troll doll I'm afraid I've become.
He put on some music, and we got in bed. As that sexy maneuver where the guy pushes you on the bed, you know, like, "I'm taking the wheel on this one. Now I'm going to blow your mind," which is almost never followed up with anything. He smelled like skunk microwaved with cheeseburgers, which I planned on finding and eating in the bathroom, as soon as he was asleep. We tried kissing. His 9 a.m. shadow was scratching my face — I knew it'd look like I had fruit-punch mouth for days after. His alcohol-swollen mouth, I felt like I was being tongued by someone who had just been given Novocain. I felt faceless, and nameless. I was just a warm body, and I was freezing cold. His fingers poked inside me like they had lost their keys in there. And then came the sex, and I use that word very loosely. His penis was so soft, it felt like one of those de-stress things that slips from your hand? So he was pushing aggressively into my thigh, and during this failed penetration, I looked around the room to try and distract myself or God willing, disassociate. What's on the wall? A Scarface poster, of course. Mandatory. Anything else? That's it? This Irish-Catholic son of bank teller who played JV soccer and did Mathletes feels the most connection with a Cuban refugee drug lord. The place looked like it was decorated by an overeager set designer who took the note "temporary and without substance" too far.
He started to go down on me. That's ambitious, I think. Is it still considered getting head if the guy falls asleep every three seconds and moves his tongue like an elderly person eating their last oatmeal? Chelsea? Is it? Yes? It is. I want to scream for myself, "Get out of here, Amy. You are beautiful, you are smart, and worth more than this. This is not where you stay." I feel like Fantine and Cosette and every fucking sad French woman from Les Miz. And whoever that cat was who sang "Memories," what was that musical? Suze Orman just goes, "Cats." The only wetness between my legs is from his drool, because he's now sleeping and snoring into me. I sigh, I hear my own heartbreak, I fight back my own tears, and then I notice a change in the music. Is this just a bagpipe solo? I shake him awake. "Matt, what is this? The Braveheart soundtrack? Can you put something else on, please?" He wakes up grumpily, falls to the floor, and crawls. I look at his exposed butt crack, a dark, unkempt abyss that I was falling into. I felt paralyzed. His asshole is a canyon, and this was my 127 Hours. I might chew my arm off.

Real classy Amy.

[lockedout]

Terrible show

[KrazyK923]

She can have a terrible special as well as be brigaded by conservatives on Netflix at the same time.

[lockedout]

She can have a terrible special as well as be brigaded by conservatives on Netflix at the same time.

It's reddits fault.

[KrazyK923]

It's reddits fault.

I don't really care about this because I don't like her, but I find it funny people who hate her don't seem to realize she can both be an awful comedian and still get brigaded by people.

[lockedout]

I don't really care about this because I don't like her, but I find it funny people who hate her don't seem to realize she can both be an awful comedian and still get brigaded by people.

I totally agree, I'm just saying what she is claiming. The alt right from Reddit gave the bad reviews.

[Dextroden]

I don't really care about this because I don't like her, but I find it funny people who hate her don't seem to realize she can both be an awful comedian and still get brigaded by people.

Good thing this and the Ghostbusters fiasco didn't contribute of the growing trend of blaming unpopularity/failure on men/now Republicans. Can't be a legitimately boring movie based on a film property that not even nostalgia could resurrect. Must be misogyny.

Or do you think the people talking about people hating women believe there's a chance they might not be good?

[Fabray]

I totally agree, I'm just saying what she is claiming. The alt right from Reddit gave the bad reviews.

They did, it's just a fact. The hand waving away of "Maybe it just wasn't funny?" is sad and really transparent. But if you don't like her, you're happy to join the pile on. Same people usually get pretty butt hurt when it's happening to someone they like though.

As a side note, I can't think of anything more useless than saying you don't think someone is funny, it's 10x more subjective than music or movies. You should really just keep it to yourself if you don't like a comic.

[Evil Midnight Bomber]

So, this thing has a one-star rating on Netlfix. Schumer, of course, completely blames it on alt-right trolls maliciously downgrading her for political reasons. My take on it? I've tried to watch this thing twice. The first time I made it nine minutes in, the second time I got to the 16 minute mark. I just plain got bored. It wasn't very funny, the majority of it was all graphic sex humor and I wasn't laughing.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with using sex in standup at all. To this day one of my favorite comedy specials is Robin Williams Live on Broadway and yeah, he used sex a LOT and I loved it. And I realize that humor is subjective - what one person finds hilarious, the next person might find cringey and awful. But there seems to be a common consensus that Schumer's special just wasn't very good. So is this the new thing? If a comedian fails, it's not the comedian's fault, it's the political opposition's fault for calling it bad?

Here's the thing about Netflix ratings...it's all subjective. The rating you see isn't an average of all viewers...it's the average of people that watch similar content to you

https://www.yahoo.com/tech/netflix-r...172702232.html

When you’re looking at movie’s splash page, for example, the corresponding rating you see isn’t a running average of how all Netflix users ranked the film. Rather, the ranking represents what users who have similar entertainment tastes as you thought of the movie. As a result, it’s entirely possible for the same movie to display two different ratings for two different accounts.

So while Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed only has a two-star rating for me (phew), it’s entirely possible that it has a 4-star rating for someone else.

So really a "one-star rating on Netflix" doesn't actually mean much more than that the people that Netflix has grouped you in with didn't like it. Same goes for anything you see with a five star rating.

[yetgdhfgh]

I thought her Inside Amy Schumer skits were OK, so I thought I might at least like some of her special. I mostly tried watching it to give it a fair shake. It's...really not good.

Fair enough

TBH i dont find her humour funny so no matter if she has a gold star rating or nothing i aint gonna watch.

Iam the sort of person who knows what i like so ratings and reviewers opinion dont sway my opinion to watch.

[Nellise]

As someone who liked her other stuff, I gave this 1 star a few days ago after watching it. It really wasn't very good at all. There were several stretches where even the audience at the show didn't laugh for a long time. The thing with the gun control was cringe worthy. The rest seemed to be redoing jokes she's already done with maybe a slightly different take and the whole time I was waiting for something new from her and never really got it.

[NatePsy]

Most comedians on Netflix have good ratings for their stand up, surely can't be due to the fact they're good or anything /s

Though if she wasn't such a major overdramatic shit weasel for claiming she'd leave USA over the election, then maybe she wouldn't be unpopular. What a twat honestly.

[Mormolyce]

Hahahahahahahahah. Oh Mormolyce.

Ironically, it became hip to dislike her kind of comedy because she became so popular.

[announced]

We are talking about Amy Schumer, even 1 star is too generous.

[Feel The Power]

Amy Schumer's "comedy" can be summed up as "my pussy stinks and is ugly, I am ugly and a slut...but don't dare call me a slut!". After like 10 years of the same routine over and over it's no wonder people are bored of her.

[Zoldor]

Luke Cage couldn't be further from Jones, Luke Cage is actually an amazing series.

hahahaha no it is not. Luke Cage was great until the half way point. The second villain is one of the worst in the history of comic film. It is like he got his character development from some golden age comic. His dialogue is trash, his daddy issue story line also trash. Cottonmouth was great, bible quoting dipshit Diamondback was the worst. Ruined the second half of Luke Cage totally. "I'm Luke CAGE!" "I'm LUKE CAGE!"

Seriously awful writing in the second half.

[KrazyK923]

Good thing this and the Ghostbusters fiasco didn't contribute of the growing trend of blaming unpopularity/failure on men/now Republicans. Can't be a legitimately boring movie based on a film property that not even nostalgia could resurrect. Must be misogyny.

Or do you think the people talking about people hating women believe there's a chance they might not be good?

...the fuck are you talking about? Do you not remember me being in that conversation saying the movie is terrible? No? Didn't think so. Not sure what Ghostbusters has to do with it.

[ThatsOurEric]

She's at her normal weight in this special from what I can tell, the others she was skinnier than usual.

Really? In her 2012 special, "Mostly Sex Stuff", she looked fantastic. Not what I would call skinny, but a perfectly normal,
maybe the tiniest line above it.

This one though, oh she gained quite a bit. I wouldn't go far enough to call her fat, but this was definitely not her "normal"
weight at all.

[melodramocracy]

So, this thing has a one-star rating on Netlfix. Schumer, of course, completely blames it on alt-right trolls maliciously downgrading her for political reasons. My take on it? I've tried to watch this thing twice. The first time I made it nine minutes in, the second time I got to the 16 minute mark. I just plain got bored. It wasn't very funny, the majority of it was all graphic sex humor and I wasn't laughing.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with using sex in standup at all. To this day one of my favorite comedy specials is Robin Williams Live on Broadway and yeah, he used sex a LOT and I loved it. And I realize that humor is subjective - what one person finds hilarious, the next person might find cringey and awful. But there seems to be a common consensus that Schumer's special just wasn't very good. So is this the new thing? If a comedian fails, it's not the comedian's fault, it's the political opposition's fault for calling it bad?

I made it about 15 minutes in and shut it off as well, and I highly doubt anyone would accuse me of being alt right .

I'm a fan of her work, but this simply isn't nearly as good as some of her earlier specials (or her show). Everything is forced, she's off pace, etc. It happens.... one of Kevin Harts recent stand up shows also really wasn't funny, nor was Bill Burrs latest (both of whom I also typically find funny).

- - - Updated - - -

I thought she was the one who sexually assaulted someone else?

That's an unusual conclusion to arrive at.

[Pebrocks The Warlock]

That's an unusual conclusion to arrive at.

It was actually proven true by -MDH-'s post last page.