Relationship "Cushioning"

[Dhrizzle]

For god's sake, who cares!? Why is everyone so uptight and right-wing? Who the hell cares about 'relationships' anyway why do people have to take themselves seriously, can't they just have fun? Who gives a sh** who sleeps with who? Jesus or something?

I think you're missing the point here, it's not so much about people sleeping around but people in a relationship seeing others on the side just in case their "main" relationship flounders.

It's more about the deception, there would be less of an issue if the person was open about wanting to sleep around commitment free or be polyamarous and maintain more than one romantic relationship.

[Seani]

Keeping someone in reserve so they don't have to be alone seems worse than getting played for a fool, being so co-dependent on other people.

[Arewn]

How is this a recent thing? This is in no way a new thing.
The only new thing about it is what it's being called. Someone just tagged a new word onto a long existing practice.

As far as the practice itself goes, it's self serving and nasty, but also somewhat smart.

[Super Kami Dende]

if someone has a back up plan, they aren't taking the relationship serious anyway and should fuck off and stop wasting peoples time, both the current partner and the back up.

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For god's sake, who cares!? Why is everyone so uptight and right-wing? Who the hell cares about 'relationships' anyway why do people have to take themselves seriously, can't they just have fun? Who gives a sh** who sleeps with who? Jesus or something?

TIL that monogamous Relationships are "Right Wing"

[Liftbrul]

Horrible people doing horrible things.

[Low Hanging Fruit]

It's a little strange to actively plan it in this manner but I feel it's kind of a natural thing you fight back when you are actually faithful to someone. If you aren't super faithful like a lot of people than this happens. Been happening forever.

[Independent voter]

A nasty new trend among millennials and younger adults called "cushoning" is the practice of having someone in your "back pocket" in case your current relationship fails.

People in the dating scene have always done this. You're phrasing it in a negative way, but if you've just met someone and you don't know how things are going to work out there's nothing with keeping someone else in mind.

[Mistame]

Meh. I look at it like a prenup. It's not there because of a belief the marriage will fail, it's there in case it does. I see nothing wrong with having a "backup plan" in this regard. People seem to put way too much stock into relationships. Like everything else in life, they're fleeting. /shrug

[Revik]

This has been in existence since forever. Girls just going down their list of guys they have lined up for them.

It was a dirt bag thing to be doing back then and still a dirt bag thing to be doing now.

[aerosyne]

The only new thing about this is how morons that are part of the millennial generation felt the need to coin new terms for this.

Also, the highlight of the article:

“I was seeing someone for a few months and it was going well, but it felt like the dust had started to settle a bit,” Anna, a cushioner who didn’t want to disclose her full name for personal reasons, told the Tab. “I still liked him, but wasn’t entirely sure I wanted him to be my boyfriend and was in limbo. Instead of talk about it, the rational thing to do was to go back on Tinder and find some more boys to chat to, just in case the current one fell through.”

I, too, would refuse to disclose my name if I just said some shit that was so stupid it might give the person reading this an aneurysm. More importantly, if Lauren's boyfriend is reading this: you're dating a ho; dump her.

Usually I hate Jaylock threads, but this one was solid; can't stop laughing at how fast first-world society is going down the toilet because people can't handle vocalizing their thoughts anymore. One of these mooks is going to be President some day...

[Kellorion]

Do you actively practice this in your relationships? A nasty new trend among millennials and younger adults called "cushoning" is the practice of having someone in your "back pocket" in case your current relationship fails.

Basically its like your back-up plan while you are dating even seriously someone.

I think its disgusting and a really lame way to date.

Here is an article from the NY Times on this very subject:

http://nypost.com/2017/04/17/new-dat...relationships/

For those who cant be arsed to click a link:

Sure this wasnt from the Onion. 'Rational thing was to go to tinder and not talk about.'


And this isn't new, people will always flirt, its just now there a fucking millenials term for it.

[kamuimac]

Do you actively practice this in your relationships? A nasty new trend among millennials and younger adults called "cushoning" is the practice of having someone in your "back pocket" in case your current relationship fails.

in our days of nearly grandpas (aka anyone older then millenials) it was called friendzoning

thats exackly what friendzoning was -_- keeping someone close as back up plan :/

why do kids think they are reinventing wheel just because they spend half their life on fb/twitter

[Witchblade77]

like so many others have said - this is not new at all. though I have seen mad do this as much if not more, than women. hell I have a personal experience with this, as my first boyfriend was doing that to me. (and a big reason why i broke up with him)

[Belloc]

For god's sake, who cares!? Why is everyone so uptight and right-wing? Who the hell cares about 'relationships' anyway why do people have to take themselves seriously, can't they just have fun? Who gives a sh** who sleeps with who? Jesus or something?

Who gives a shit? Monogamous people. In other words, the vast majority of people.

[Evil Midnight Bomber]

"Millennials" includes everyone born after 1980. It's basically everyone under the age of 36.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millennials

No...it isn't. Millennials is Gen Y...Post-Millennials is Gen Z.

[Celista]

No...it isn't. Millennials is Gen Y...Post-Millennials is Gen Z.

I have never heard anyone use the term Gen Z, everyone just tends to label teens to 20-somethings as millennials.

[AlphaOut]

You'd have to be completely insecure to do this. If you're looking for a fallback plan then your current relationship is bad anyways. If you're not willing to commit yourself 100% to someone the you shouldn't be in a relationship.

[callipygoustp]

Do you actively practice this in your relationships? A nasty new trend among millennials and younger adults called "cushoning" is the practice of having someone in your "back pocket" in case your current relationship fails.

I cannot be the only gen-Xer sitting here thinking "this is considered new?" I did this in high school, back in the mid 80s. LOL : new trend. WTF.

[Slant]

Sooo... nobody commenting on the article only quoting women? Coincidence...? :P

[Glnger]

the attitude displayed towards relationships is plenty a turnoff for me to not date her, now sure i'm sure most of us have had flings or hook-ups. This behavior is just putting the label on yourself instead of getting the reputation or having the titled put on her by guys after they get to know her. Woman empowerment n' shit.

There were plenty of girls like this growing up, who seem to circle around a group of guys and casually date/fuck around with most of them.
And then you realize they also have 2-3 different groups of guys they do this same behavior with.