Polyamory can be an alternative to cheating: Ellie

[Tennis]

https://www.thestar.com/life/2017/05...ges-ellie.html

A reader says he and his wife have a successful open relationship, but Ellie cautions that it takes skill and firm ground rules to make such an arrangement work well.

I’d like to present an option to cheating: polyamory — having more than one romantic relationship with the full knowledge of all involved.

I’ve been married for 10 years to a wonderful woman. We have two kids and have been polyamorous for five years.

The idea that one person can fill all the needs of another is one that I find ludicrous.

My wife had wants and needs that I can’t and don’t want to fulfil.

She gets those needs fulfilled by her boyfriend. I get some things from my girlfriend that my wife can’t or is unwilling to provide. Everyone’s happy!

Happy Solution

I believe that you’re happy. And it may well be that your wife, her boyfriend, and your girlfriend are all happy too.

You didn’t ask for advice, but you clearly seek a reaction.
To me, polyamory requires even more skill than a one-couple relationship, since this type tries to “fulfil” more people and juggle them timewise (an arrangement that may work for awhile but can be affected by changing circumstances).

Its clear advantage against “cheating” is that no one needs to sneak around.

And yet . . . there are still some familiar relationship risks.

One of you could find there’s greater satisfaction from the added lover than from the spouse, and not need the work and bother of maintaining two relationships or more.

Also, not everyone’s emotionally suited to this level of inclusive intimacy and acceptance.

Can you believe this? To brazenly propose such an idea?
It seems pretty clear that you don't truly love the other person if you're okay with then doing this.

[Nilinor]

To each their own.

I don't like to share, so I would never agree to something like that. My friend and his wife tried it, it ended really badly for them.

But if it works for that couple, it works for that couple. Just cause I would never do it, as well as it ending really bad for my friend and his wife, doesn't mean that something wont work for other people.

[Darkeon]

No thanks to it.

If couples succeed with that, more power to them.

[igualitarist]

I personally can't love 2 different persons at the same time.

If i love my gf, and for some reason fall in love with another girl, it means i don't love my gf anymore.

[Molis]

I couldnt pull it off, but more power too them.

Tennisace who are you to tell them how to live their lives?

[The One Percent]

Why the fuck would you, as a man, even get married then. Completely and utterly retarded.

[Azadina]

I couldnt pull it off, but more power too them.

Tennisace who are you to tell them how to live their lives?

He thinks his zero experience qualifies him better to say how relationships work, or should work, than those who actually are in one, or have said experience.

What remains mysterious is how exactly he rationalizes that to himself.

[Schmeebs]

Can we please go back to tennisace being banned?

Infracted

[Zandalarian Paladin]

So basically, he/she lives with his/her friend and he/she has sex with a fuck buddy.

[Orange Joe]

https://www.thestar.com/life/2017/05...ges-ellie.html

It seems pretty clear that you don't truly love the other person if you're okay with then doing this.

How so? Are you telling me you can't love someone unless you are in a monogamous sexual relationship?


In that case how do you love anyone in your family aside from your spouse?

[Bathory]

If both parties agree to this, sure.

[Nerovar]

Isn't Tennisace supposed to be all tolerant and sh*t? I swear this site is becoming more confusing every day.

[Berengil]

best alternative to cheating: Don't be in a committed relationship. Hookups only, TYVM.

[Harry Botter]

Isn't Tennisace supposed to be all tolerant and sh*t? I swear this site is becoming more confusing every day.

Tennisace likes 3 things:

1. Trudeau
2. Immigrants
3. Hating on fat chicks

[bigmackie]

Go a step further.

Relationship anarchy ... Rules of all your relationships (Platonic, or otherwise) are decided by the people involved. People need to stop thinking they own other people and should be able to control their actions.

[Tennis]

best alternative to cheating: Don't be in a committed relationship. Hookups only, TYVM.

The rate of STDs from hookups vs being in a sincere, loving marriage is worth considering.

[Shinra1]

I want to know what acts the bf/gf is fulfilling for husband/wife? What are these needs that they can't get from their spouse?

Is it some disgusting sex act? Or a bigger penis/boobs/(other body part)?

[Berengil]

The rate of STDs from hookups vs being in a sincere, loving marriage is worth considering.

Well, yeah, you shouldn't just take whatever drops in your lap. You also don't have to marry any of them.

[Rennadrel]

Can we please go back to tennisace being banned?

Now this is a post I can support!

Infracted

[Jtbrig7390]

Ummmm

Different strokes for different fokes......

Ill see myself out now