Cheating...

[Doctor Amadeus]

Say your spouse or significant other is found to have cheated on you, whether in a open relationship or monogamist what is the most important element, is it that they cheated at all or why?

Also as follow up, say you are dating after a divorce or a previous long term relationship, how do you refer to your past romantic relationship?


Further along those lines if you aren't in a romantic relationship, when it comes to friends or family, or even people you work with etc, if they make a mistake that cost "you" same or similar thing, does it matter that they made the mistake, or why?

[Thoughtcrime]

I've been cheated on, I literally do not care why she cheated and deleted the texts she sent to explain herself and apologise so I never found out. If you're not happy in a relationship change it, or end it, it's as simple as that.

Cheating is the mark of cowardice or apathy and neither have a place in a relationship.

[Grimbold21]

Im the dude she's using to cheat on her bf

[slime]

I've been cheated on, I literally do not care why she cheated and deleted the texts she sent to explain herself and apologise so I never found out. If you're not happy in a relationship change it, or end it, it's as simple as that.

Cheating is the mark of cowardice or apathy and neither have a place in a relationship.

I'm not sure how cowardice fits in here, unless they don't tell you or try to explain. But, apathy, definitely. And more generally I think it's a mark of being horny for someone.. that's about it.

[Deleted]

I'd want to understand how they feel about the relationship and what it meant to them to cheat.

[Halyon]

I have no problems with open/swinger/polygamous relationships, but honesty and communications are paramount to making those work, so cheating in any way is awful in any sort of relationship.

Still, I'd want to know why if it was something that happened to me. It'd still be over, but why can be useful in future relationships or what to look out for.

[Thoughtcrime]

I'm not sure how cowardice fits in here, unless they don't tell you or try to explain. But, apathy, definitely. And more generally I think it's a mark of being horny for someone.. that's about it.

If something is wrong in the relationship and you're too scared to talk about it because of imagined repercussions from that conversation, you're a coward in my eyes.

[Queen of Hamsters]

You're unhappy? Bring it up with your partner. It won't work moving forward? Break up before you climb onto some other man/woman.

If someone cheats on me, he's out. I don't give 2 shits about his reasons or his unhappiness, he doesn't get the right to shit all over our relationship and my loyalty because he has the sads.

I'm an extremely loyal, loving person, but that doesn't make me a doormat. I expect to be given as good as I get in terms of honesty and loyalty. I've been called a sociopath thanks to my ability to shut off my feelings for a person based on what they've done, but that's just how it is.

[Auxora]

I think most people can figure out the why easily enough. In fact it's probably a bad path to go down to start focusing on the "why" because it can lead to someone that's been cheated on blaming themselves. And some cheaters will blame the person they cheated on out of selfishness.

In the end a cheater is just someone who put themselves and their own pleasure over their partners, and it's impossible to not have that contradict any love they might have for that person. I don't buy that you can love someone and then cheat on them. If they were a bad partner and ignoring the cheater, or having other problems then the cheater should just break up with them and find someone else, it doesn't justify cheating even though it's often used as an excuse.

As a side-note too, I've seen a few marriages of co-workers and friends end with cheating. The ironic part is that the person who is cheating will either leave their spouse for the person they were cheating with, or get caught and do the same. But then after they aren't married anymore and the excitement of sneaking around and cheating is gone, they realize there isn't much else to the relationship and the cheater and the person they were cheating with break up inevitably within a month or two. And so then they end up alone too and often depressed, which is kind of fitting.

[Doctor Amadeus]

I have no problems with open/swinger/polygamous relationships, but honesty and communications are paramount to making those work, so cheating in any way is awful in any sort of relationship.

Still, I'd want to know why if it was something that happened to me. It'd still be over, but why can be useful in future relationships or what to look out for.

Yeah this is an important distinction I learned from people who are swingers or open relationships.

[Mistame]

You really need some new material kid. Posting a "cheating" poll every few weeks is getting old.

[Torrasque]

The issue with cheating is the betrayal, which are inherently from a lack of trust and communication. This is why, whenever I get together with someone, we agree to be straight with each other about what we want across all playing fields: sex, romance, goals, hobbies, and desires. If you're clear cut about these sorts of things early, and are understanding and upkeep good communication to the needs and desires of your partner, you don't tend to have such issues.

[Doctor Amadeus]

I've been cheated on, I literally do not care why she cheated and deleted the texts she sent to explain herself and apologise so I never found out. If you're not happy in a relationship change it, or end it, it's as simple as that.

Cheating is the mark of cowardice or apathy and neither have a place in a relationship.

I get what you're saying but the deleted text you ever nagged by what it. Said not that rest of what you said isn't true, but not know for just yourself?

[Deleted]

women dont cheat on me , i cheat on them all the time though.

[Deleted]

I was cheated on by more than once, forgave but ultimately relationship ended. I have also willingly slept with somebody in a relationship but felt awful so never again

[Dreamingfox]

Cheating is bad it happens talking about it with your significant other should be fine if asked about it. Better to be truthful then start a lie.

[Deleted]

ignorance is bliss

[Babadoo]

Im the dude she's using to cheat on her bf

Noice you show that cuck what he really is.

[Thoughtcrime]

I get what you're saying but the deleted text you ever nagged by what it. Said not that rest of what you said isn't true, but not know for just yourself?

Well it was a couple of years ago so it's all water under the bridge now and we've since gone back to being acquaintances / friends again. At the time of course I wondered what it might have said but then I reminded myself that I was loyal and I was good to her, like I'm good to everyone who isn't an asshole and that there really isn't any justification for cheating on someone so I'd stop myself from texting her until enough time passed that I genuinely didn't care anymore.

When we met up again this year we had the typical awkward conversation about how we are, what we've been up to and if we were seeing anyone but I was distant enough that I never let the conversation go the way of talking about us.

[Felaris Stormrage]

Say your spouse or significant other is found to have cheated on you, whether in a open relationship or monogamist what is the most important element, is it that they cheated at all or why?

Also as follow up, say you are dating after a divorce or a previous long term relationship, how do you refer to your past romantic relationship?


Further along those lines if you aren't in a romantic relationship, when it comes to friends or family, or even people you work with etc, if they make a mistake that cost "you" same or similar thing, does it matter that they made the mistake, or why?

How does cheating work in an open relationship?

I would immediately conclude the relationship. The chemistry after that is normally far too funked to try and work it out. Always going to be some sort of trust issue and a constant worry on the exploited partner.