Did I fuck up? Advice for a typical girl problem needed

[Xenyatta]

While you fucked that one up big time... look at it this way for a moment, she has a boyfriend, she's going to places with YOU and leaves with a guy she met THAT NIGHT. How many red flags does this throw up to you?

[pateuvasiliu]

Ha, and i thought that i was bad with girls at teenage years

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If you would talk about single 30+ years olds - sure. But it's teens. It's only the case of really fucked up mentally kids (abusive parents, sex-knowledge-restricted, etc), but in general case walking home at night with a stranger from a party is just a safety concern and went valve because her male of choice fucked up royally

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if that's the case of her bringing him home to her, the guy could simply get on her tail and walk her home because these parties are full of betas anyways. But it's highly unlikely and impossible for us to know. It could be anything.

The naivety is hilarious.

It doesn't matter, anyway. Even making OP jealous while he's feeling sick instead of making sure he's OK is a shit move.

[Collegeguy]

From my experience, the evidence you have from your friends is extremely weak and she was never into you.

When a girl liked me and was interested, I knew it as a fact. It was obvious. They would flirt, laugh at things I say that are not even funny, want to see me or talk to me a lot. Text me all the time. Something. My wife even had her own supervisor to ask me out for her.

Point is, if she didn't let you know in some way that she was interested, then she wasn't. If she was and still left with another guy, then she was a problem to begin with.

[Charge me Doctor]

OP said he saw her trying to hook up with this guy at the party so I don't think they were just "walking" home. Also calling them "betas" means nothing.

OP was drunk as fuck and he remembers whatever he wants to remember. Especially when it comes to judging someone elses body language (or just language in general), that's where these dumb drunk fights begin, when one drunk punches another for "staring at me", while another was blankly staring at the wall. So yeah, it's impossible to tell for us what happened unless the girl in question says something or there was a witness.

Calling them "betas" means exactly what it means.

[Radaney]

In what way would you go about it?

Say 'Ey bby u wan sum fuk, show bobs pls'

Or Apolgise for your behaviour. Say you hope you didn't do anything ridiculous, see where the convo goes from there and her response to that to get her general opinion of you at the moment.

If she shows no interest, then you fucked up and that's that. Lesson learned.

If she seems engaged with conversing with you then just ask her out again to something.

All I'm getting from this is that she wants some fuck, which is good or bad depending on what you want. She already has a boyfriend though so there's that to consider. Nothing so far has shown me that she wants a relationship with you.

I would not attempt to date this person in any capacity with the information I've been given, but I mean if she wants to fuck and you don't mind doing that to someone who already has a boyfriend then I guess there's that.

[Sormine]

OP was drunk as fuck and he remembers whatever he wants to remember. Especially when it comes to judging someone elses body language (or just language in general), that's where these dumb drunk fights begin, when one drunk punches another for "staring at me", while another was blankly staring at the wall. So yeah, it's impossible to tell for us what happened unless the girl in question says something or there was a witness.

Calling them "betas" means exactly what it means.

"Beta" means nothing, it's an empty term.

And still, it's pretty naive to assume these two didn't hook up. In my opinion.

[Charge me Doctor]

The naivety is hilarious.

It doesn't matter, anyway. Even making OP jealous while he's feeling sick instead of making sure he's OK is a shit move.

It's not naivety, it's different culture, where walking someone home is not enough to have sex with them. As a general rule. Off course there is more to that.

Agree that it doesn't matter, i think they both did a shit move, but since they are teens it's kinda ok. And again what i think about drunk memory - don't believe what you think you remember and keep pushing people for information. Not your friends for gods sake but any strangers on a party

[Cosmic Janitor]

@Wiltrold This is mostly a curiosity thing, but how exactly did you know that she went home "with him"? Maybe she just knew the guy and left the party with him because she was fed up with you being a drunken retard and the guy didn't like the party either? Did they make out? How sure are you that she still does have a boyfriend? More information is needed to make a judgement here, because this could be anything from her being utter trash to you missing out big time. The only thing we know is that you can't hold your 'liquor and you had a woman fiollowing you around - alone - and you not getting it'.

[ls-]

Did I fuck up?

Yes.

Do you think that her behaviour signals attraction?

Yes.

What would you suggest that my next move be? Should I wait and see what happens if we meet again, should I straight up tell her about it, or maybe something else?

Apologise, if nothing positive happens after that, move on because you've already done enough.

Your evening together can be described as "Ah, yeah, I invited a cute girl, whom I prob like, to my place, I'd better get wasted ASAP and tell her that she wasn't that cute after all". IMHO, it doesn't sound like a good plan at all.

And lastly, why the hell did you get shitfaced so badly? Did you try to be your friend's wingman or something? He surely could get that girl instead of you if he wanted. Or did he?

[Sormine]

I never said it's likely nothing. I'm saying we can't know and automatically assuming is a generalization.

It's more deduction than a generalization.

[Rudkobing]

Not the best place to ask dating advice.

[Charge me Doctor]

It's more deduction than a generalization.

It doesn't make your conclusion true.

[Sormine]

It doesn't make your conclusion true.

No but you'll have to admit that it's more likely they hooked up. Anything else is just denial.

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With the very small amount of information we have, no it's not.

Seeing her with another guy at the party watching her try to hook up with him (albeit in his own opinion)? And then they go home together. We have enough information to take an educated guess at what happens next.

[Charge me Doctor]

No but you'll have to admit that it's more likely they hooked up. Anything else is just denial.

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Seeing her with another guy at the party watching her try to hook up with him (albeit in his own opinion)? And then they go home together. We have enough information to take an educated guess at what happens next.

No it's not more likely. This situation is not binary, her chances to succeeding at "hooking up" (if it even was true at any point, because all we have are twisted memories of drunk) are unknown, and them going "home together" (walking out of the door together doesn't mean that they "go home" in the sense "hey i live without my parents lets go fuck") is unknown, because afaik OP didn't followed them up to whatever home they were going.
So, no, we don't have enough information to take "an educated guess", and the fact that you think that we do makes me giggle. All we have is - drunk OP who can't remember shit. The girl in question walking out of party house with some guy. That's all we have, and all conclusion we can make is OP got drunk, acted disgusting, girl didn't approve that, and later walked out of the door in company of some guy.

[Xargoth6634]

How charming. Your attitude must get you a lot of women.

He's not wrong, though.

[McFuu]

She didn't owe him anything as far as dancing goes, really.

But not taking care of the one that you're with at the party just spells out shitty friend.

Yeah your friend got drunk but jesus fuck give them a hand, you're their friend after all.

Hooking up with someone while your friend might be getting mugged or beat up is just trash.

I agree, but the theory is that this chick was into him. Which means she went from showing up randomly to his going away party, accepting invitations to his party and going out of her way to go party with this guy, to leaving with someone else the span of him getting tipsy.
That just indicates that she's the self serving kind of person that won't put any effort into something if it doesn't suit their needs anymore. Why would you waste your time on someone like that. She's at best a one hitter.

[Asotcha]

Why would he beat the OP? It's not like the OP did anything to seduce her. I'll never understand this mentality of getting mad at the ones your SO cheated with. The SO is the one that betrayed your trust.

Neither will I, but that mentality is out there. I think for some people its because its easier to make it someone elses outside problem so they can avoid discussing it with their SO--or else if their SO has them brainwashed into the victim-card situation pre-emptively.

I used to know someone ingame who stood a real risk of this. He had a little puppy-love thing with this girl, she ended up getting engaged to (I heard) a guy with 'tough friends' and a good sized wallet, and he told puppy-love to not mess with her or else. He took the whole thing pretty hard. Fast-forward a few months to when the fiance was away on a business trip, and she started to make contact and cyber with that poor sap again, not caring what she was doing to him or what a hoe-cake it made her to be doing it. And also putting him at physical risk if Mr business trip figured it out (if they met irl again), because they all lived a drive away from each other irl.

Basically, people are crazy as hell.

[Deleted]

I can't think of any place worse to get dating advise than MMOC.

Regardless, assuming she had a boyfriend when you two went out I'd say you probably, although it's always hard to tell, missed some signals, but I don't see why you'd pursue her further, seeing as she's just as likely to do what she did with you with another guy, if you two were to get togeter.

[Sykol]

This thread is sadder than childhood cancer.

[Sylv_]

I started fappin' because I thought this was a lesbo encounter.
Should have said you were a dude.

To paraphrase: You needed help for a typical problem that you normally encounter because you are a woman.
Eesh.