Another example of this, and the reason why I now always ask one of my grad student to sit in my office whenever a female student come to meet with me:
Student: Can we go over my last exam, I think there is a mistake.
Me: I can correct it again and show you your mistakes.
Student: But I really want to get into med school.
Me: You should have studied then, it would not be fair to change your marks and not the others.
Student: How about sex?
And there it is. I am sure some people gladly accept the proposition. But the student at the time is ready/willing to do whatever to put herself in a better position. And then 20 years down the road, now that she has money, a job and whatnot, would click on the #metoo saying some disgusting creep took advantage of her.
I am not defending people like Weinstein who milked it for all its worth. He is on a whole other level of wrong. But I am pretty sure those actresses knew what they were getting into when meeting with him, and they were willing to do it to start their career, which probably would not have happened at all otherwise. If anything, it's sad for those who said no, and never got a break and are now working in a coffee shop.
Men are different than women. A men would be less affected by it. If a guy slapped me on the ass, I think I'd be able to shrug it off. For a woman, it's a lot more violating. If my boss offered me a promotion if I sucked him off, I don't know, maybe I'd be able to just decline and keep working for him, or maybe I'd feel like punching him, but I don't think that I would feel emotionally hurt or anything.
A good example would be Terry Crews' tweet about the issue.
https://i.imgur.com/mc9jUBz.jpg
There's more he said which can easily be found if you want to read about his experience with sexual assault. TL;DR though, it was a man who assaulted him, which of course does not mean all men are assaulted only by other men.
I think it is a good trend to raise awareness of the issue, but I feel the same way about it partially that I do about all these trends. That being it opens the door for false victims, which doesn't actually do the cause any good, if anything it harms it if there were never an incident. However there will always be people who take advantage of causes like this for personal attention. I say that fully expecting backlash, but know that it is based on a personal reference, where a girl I grew up with and know for a fact fabricated a sexual assault issue put out a lengthy "Me Too" post even though her story had already been proven to be false and almost ruined an honest person's life.
All I will say is that if a woman was actually assaulted/harassed then this is a good cause to spread awareness, but false victim-hood actually hinders the message this represents as with any cause or protest. Let the real victims use it and it could be something positive.
If a man rapes a man, or tries to rape a man, I would take that seriously. But if it's something like getting slapped on the ass or whatever, or being propositioned by your boss to suck him off, men should be able to deal with that. PTSD lol
- - - Updated - - -
Punch him. Don't cry about it and tell me you feel violated and have PTSD.
I also agree it's good to raise awareness, but at the same time I don't feel like a victim of sexual assault but apparently I am because I had my butt grabbed in a wave pool once when I was maybe 15. It was a bit offsetting at the time... it definitely wasn't an accidental we got shoved into each other due to the wave pool but was a definite grab and squeeze. I definitely felt violated at the time.
I don't think it would be right to join in with the "Me too" posts because while what happened wasn't ok.. I'm not emotionally of physically scarred by it and it's not nearly on the same level as other people have experienced.
Wow take it down a couple notches. In the wake of the Weinstein outting (which are/aren'y necessarily rape, but rather sexual misconduct)
He is speaking directly to the origins of such behavior and is neither supporting nor condoning... take a step back for second. Breathe.
- - - Updated - - -
Why exactly?
Change career. 99.9% of people alive in this planet are not Hollywood movie stars.
No one is entitled nor forced to be a big name star. If the industry is this low, people can just refuse to participate.
Not do it anyway for the money, and then 10 years down the line complain that they feel violated.
This is prostitution, plain and simple.
And the answer is...
"Guess I don't want to be a star anymore".
RIP Genn Greymane, Permabanned on 8.22.18
Your name will carry on through generations, and will never be forgotten.
While you're correct, the original #MeToo post that has been reposted a few hundred thousand times by now specifically calls only for women who have been victims to share their experiences. The casual erasure of male victims and female perpetrators is impossible to escape in this space.
Its sad and interesting that if you get people talking and remembering their early childhood long enough how many children are abused... sexually, physically, mentally.
My Dad and his parents joke about how they used to lock him in his room to keep him out of trouble. LOCK HIM IN HIS ROOM... FOR HOURS! Pisses me off every time... I don't care what generation you're from... that's fucking abuse... and it explains why my dad has some fucked up ideas about raising kids.
Also the cyclical nature of abuse, and how sometimes it skips a generation. I think that many statistics are skewed because as you stated:
I think the reasons go beyond fear of judgment. Sometimes their tales are from people they love and admire to this day... and they don't want people to view that person in a negative light, or worse have to suffer the consequences. Some don't actually feel they were abused because they "came out okay", some actually still blame themselves. Part of that is because the abusers will blame their victims... director to actor... boss to employee, father/grandfather to child... "Oh you can't look at me like that... you know what that does to me." or "You can't wear that, I just can't control myself when..."[Too many feel they can't tell their story...]
I can't agree with that.
I've spent the last 7 years of my life developing my career. If I was put in a position like this tomorrow, I can't just up and change careers. I have bills to pay, mouths to feed, and myself to take care of. I can't just jump into a new career like that.
Now, i'm not saying people who give into sexual coercion to continue their careers should do so. But I don't think it is good to excuse those in power of coercing people into sex in order for the employee to keep their job.
RIP Genn Greymane, Permabanned on 8.22.18
Your name will carry on through generations, and will never be forgotten.