When does flirting become sexual harassment?

[Passionario]

When in doubt, use the Rock Test.

[schwarzkopf]

Generally speaking sexual harassment is when one party can't say no without consequences.

Boss/subordinate for example. Or if the offender doesn't take no for an answer.

[Torrasque]

It is harassment when it is both unwanted and persistent, or if it is simply in the workplace, as many do not allow flirting of any kind.

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When in doubt, use the Rock Test.

Sadly, that is actually a helpful test for those that have issues pining on random women.

[Dug]

When the person trying to "flirt" won't take no for an answer and keeps trying.

This isn't a hard thing to grasp for functioning adults. It's only a problem for the kiss less forever alones that flood the internet that have 0 experience and people with legit mental problems that prevent them from picking up on social cues.

[Mehrunes]

Attractiveness is completely personal and subjective. So all this, it doesn't count if the guy is attractive! And, it's always harassment if you are an uggo! Is asinine.

Given how harassment is completely personal and subjective too, you're not really making your case here.

[schwank05]

If your a Guy being flirted on by a girl, Never. But the other way around seems to be a problem for Women so I have no clue there. Most men don't care about being "flirted" on.

[Enthusiastic Steward]

We were talking about harassment.

The thread topic is about harassment. All I was saying about your specific example is that it wasn't flirting. Past that I made no assessment on it being harassment, so there was no need to respond to an assessment I didn't make to clarify.

You wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean it isn’t flirting even if inappropriate most places.

I didn't say I wouldn't do it. I said it was aggressive, not blunt. Flirting is not aggressive, its playful.

[Azmoden]

Found it, SNL skit with Tom Brady about sexual harassment:

https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=f76_1323277426

[Doctor Amadeus]

The thread topic is about harassment. All I was saying about your specific example is that it wasn't flirting. Past that I made no assessment on it being harassment, so there was no need to respond to an assessment I didn't make to clarify.


I didn't say I wouldn't do it. I said it was aggressive, not blunt. Flirting is not aggressive, its playful.

You haven’t seen pornhub I’m guessing. Lots of people into all kinds of flirting.

[Deleted]

You do love putting words in peoples mouths don't you? I didn't say women = victim, I said the victim decides if something is harrassment

Wait wait wait. Don't just say I'm putting words in your mouth. I said "it's harassment when the woman decides it is harassment" to which you responded with "duh, of course the victim of harassment decides when it is harassment".

So you are equating woman to victim. Otherwise you would have replied with something like, "no, if the man is the one being harassed, he decides if it is harassment".

[Mistame]

Generally that's how harrassment works... The victim decides

No, the scenario decides. Making a single pass at a person doesn't count as "harassment" just because the "victim" decides it does. Not persistent = not harassment.

[Deleted]

The thread topic is about harassment. All I was saying about your specific example is that it wasn't flirting. Past that I made no assessment on it being harassment, so there was no need to respond to an assessment I didn't make to clarify.

We were discussing harassment. People said that in order for it to be harassment it has to be unwanted and persistent. I provided an example of something being said to a woman, just one single sentence, once. And people said it would be harassment. Even though it doesn't fulfill the criterium of being persistent. You can't speak of persistently bothering someone when you only say one thing once. Therefore you are being inconsistent.

No, the scenario decides. Making a single pass at a person doesn't count as "harassment" just because the "victim" decides it does. Not persistent = not harassment.

See.

[glowzone]

Fuck me the number of guys projecting their insecurities by spouting UGLY = CREEP is scary

Because..it's true? Ugly has always been linked to creepy. Even if you take the whole flirting thing out of it.

[Katie N]

When you continue when they have said no.

[Deleted]

Wait wait wait. Don't just say I'm putting words in your mouth. I said "it's harassment when the woman decides it is harassment" to which you responded with "duh, of course the victim of harassment decides when it is harassment".

So you are equating woman to victim. Otherwise you would have replied with something like, "no, if the man is the one being harassed, he decides if it is harassment".

You're the one using women in your example... Notice I said victim, this applies to any gender

[Endus]

If you have to ask the question, you should back off. Especially in the workplace. Pretty much anything beyond asking someone to dinner or drinks is going to potentially tread on the line, and even that will if you were given a negative response and just want to "try again". Meeting someone at a conference and having a good conversation and asking them if they want to grab dinner is fine. Getting touchy? If you'd touch an 80-year old person of a gender you aren't attracted to the same way, it's probably fine. If you wouldn't, you're crossing the line. This shit shouldn't be complicated.

[Swalload]

It isn't hypocrisy it's rules of attraction - if you're not attracted you're not interested and if the person doesn't take that and continues then they're being creepy

It's hypocrisy when the same comment generates different reaction.

A handsome guy saying "hey nice boobs guuurl" is just as creepy as an ugly dude saying "hey nice boobs guuurl!". If the handsome guy is tolerated and the ugly guy is considered harassment then there is legit hypocrisy.

I really think people here are exaggerating, sure handsome guys have it easier but being rejected as an ugly guy doesn't mean she thinks you're harassing her, that's nonsense. Take the hint and move on, if you keep going after that, then it doesn't matter how hot you are, you're harassing.

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When you continue when they have said no.

By this definition I can slap a random woman's ass and get away with it.

[Katie N]

So if I walk up to a girl and say "hey I wanna take you home, throw you on the bed, rip of your clothes and eat your pussy, then I wanna flip you around and fuck you from behind"... that couldn't be sexual harassment. She would first have to voice her discomfort and tell me to stop, and then when I continue, it's harassment. Good to know. Be right back. Gonna go out and "flirt" a bit.

That's not flirting. xD It's just using crude language.

[Deleted]

Because..it's true? Ugly has always been linked to creepy. Even if you take the whole flirting thing out of it.

Except it isn't true, if it was every ugly person would be single. I am not conventionally attractive and have never once being acussed of harrassment. If you're regularly getting called creepy or a harasser then it isn't your looks at fault

[Katie N]

By this definition I can slap a random woman's ass and get away with it.

That's not flirting. Question was when flirting becomes sexual harassment.