Using physical force to punish a kid

[Katie N]

Sorry but I must call this an utter BS.

I have a perfect real life example for the debate in my parent's friends.

They had their first child and wanted to bring him up stress-free. He is a quiet, introvert child who NEVER misbehave. Never made any problems for them, they never had to use the force on him, they always TALK through with him about good/bad, and it works. Sounds like a perfect example supporting this type of approach to children.

Until they got their second child. She is a perfect polar opposite of the first child. She is noisy, does not listens to what their parents are asking of her, misbehave often, even to the point she is tormenting her mom - she has a bone cancer or something and the child is hurting her while jumping on her or tripping her, even when she has repeatedly been told not to do that, on same occasion. They still try to talk with her exactly like they did tried with their first son, but it's clearly not working.

The conclusion is obvious - it all depends on the child. Some children can be brought up without any force, other have different character which responds to authority through subordination.

I am a mother, if you beat your child then you are a bad parent. Don't have kids if you can't stop yourself from beating them.

[Deleted]

That's the thing, though. They are unable to convince their kids. They are "a bit shitty". Now what? If you don't want to take over, guess it's spanking time. =P

Should I have specified currently unable? Resorting to violence is basically admitting you're a bad parent, you can't formulate an argument to perform a behaviour, so instead use the threat of violence to instil it. What would happen if you tried that on anyone that wasn't your spawn? You'd either get decked or arrested, why is it okay because of an arbitrary genetic link? Spoiler: It's not.

[Total Crica]

What would happen if you tried that on anyone that wasn't your spawn?

Depends on if they suck at violence, of course, or if they have back up. That's how the balance of power in nature is. Doesn't mean I agree with it, of course. Which is why I asked if you were willing to take over. If not, that's what happens when you can't convince adults to not use violence on their kids. So, does that make you "a bit shitty" if you can't convince them not to?

[Deleted]

Seriously? You're going to pull some shitty research on my first hand experience?

Yes, because anecdotal evidence (like your personal experience) is meaningless, when your goal is to find out the truth. Maybe you have heard of this thing called science. It tends to work. Also, why do you consider the article "shitty" research? (I hope this is opposed to good research and not a judgement on research altogether).

[Deleted]

Depends on if they suck at violence, of course, or if they have back up. That's how the balance of power in nature is. Doesn't mean I agree with it, of course. Which is why I asked if you were willing to take over. If not, that's what happens when you can't convince adults to not use violence on their kids. So, does that make you "a bit shitty" if you can't convince them not to?

Obviously not. Convincing people to behave a certain way in society is generally achieved using laws. Nature has nothing to do with anything.

[ONCHEhap]

Seriously? You're going to pull some shitty research on my first hand experience?
There is absolutely no proof of kids becoming more aggressive from being punished physically.
Physical abuse. YES. But that's a COMPLETELY different thing.
What are you? Born in the 90s or younger?

Seriously,you're going to pull some shitty anecdotal evidence on a scientific research?
There is absolutely proof of kids becoming more aggressive from being punished physically.
Physical abuse. YES. But that's a COMPLETELY similar thing.
What are you? Born in the 1890s or older?

[Total Crica]

Obviously not. Convincing people to behave a certain way in society is generally achieved using laws. Nature has nothing to do with anything.

If you are not "a bit shitty" when you are unable to convince the parents to behave in a certain way, then why are the parents "a bit shitty" when they are unable to convince their kids to behave in a certain way?

[Seditian]

Seriously? You're going to pull some shitty research on my first hand experience?

Ahahahaha


Shit man, smoking isn't bad for you. Research? Fuck that. My grandpa got to 90 years before he died while heavily smoking. Obviously my first hand experience > any "shitty" research.

[Total Crica]

Ahahahaha


Shit man, smoking isn't bad for you. Research? Fuck that. My grandpa got to 90 years before he died while heavily smoking. Obviously my first hand experience > any "shitty" research.

Because everyone is genetically the same as your gandpa?

[LiiLoSNK]

inb4 someone takes the obvious intentional missed sarcasm bait

[Kithelle]

Uhm, no we weren't. I don't know a single person younger than my grandparents who were beaten as a child.

I was born in the 80's, I was spanked, I wasn't physically abused, and I've never spent a single day in jail my entire life...

[Deleted]

If you are not "a bit shitty" when you are unable to convince the parents to behave in a certain way, then why are the parents "a bit shitty" when they are unable to convince their kids to behave in a certain way?

Are you literally confused as to why raising a child is different to changing the behaviour of adults? If so, I'm very sorry.

[Total Crica]

Are you literally confused as to why raising a child is different to changing the behaviour of adults? If so, I'm very sorry.

No, I am not confused about that. I am perplexed as to why you think a person is shitty if they are unable to convince someone to change their behavior, yet you don't think you are shitty when you are unable to do the same thing they are unable to do.

A person is a person, regardless if they are a child or an adult. Age doesn't factor into being unable to convince anyone to behave the way you want them to.

[Deleted]

No, I am not confused. I am perplexed that you think a person is shitty if they are unable to do the same thing you are unable to do, yet you don't think you are shitty.

A person is a person, regardless if they are a child or an adult. Age doesn't factor into being unable to convince anyone to behave the way you want them to.

So, raising a child to behave in a certain way is the same as convincing a grown adult that their current behaviour is opposed to what is correct?

[Total Crica]

So, raising a child to behave in a certain way is the same as convincing a grown adult that their current behaviour is opposed to what is correct?

Why wouldn't it be? Isn't the end goal the same? To convince them to behave a certain way?

[Deleted]

Because everyone is genetically the same as your gandpa?

I thought his laughing in the beginning coupled with the quote he used were pretty good signs that he was ironic.

[judgementofantonidas]

Because it's harmful? It breeds resentment? Abuse at home is a significant factor in maladaptive behavior.

because standing a child in a corner is really effective........ not

[Total Crica]

I thought his laughing in the beginning coupled with the quote he used were pretty good signs that he was ironic.

Oh. My mistake.

[MatadorMedia]

You can physically correct a child without punishment. We do it with dogs all the time; same thing.

[LiiLoSNK]

You can physically correct a child without punishment. We do it with dogs all the time; same thing.

Gross /10char