I have lost almost every long-term friend from back then.

[walexia]

QUOTE=Qnubi;48074043]Yo, I just realized I have lost almost all my friends which I considered life-time friends. They all started dating girls and eventually married or just silently moved away from me over the years. It was a slow process, since I like to live solitary I have it especially rough. I have only 1 contact left that kinda feels the same but the distance is too far to meet weekly. I am not complaining I like the way my life shaped up as I have 100% freedom and can do whatever I want. I just thought one of my dozens friends would feel the same and stay with me till the end. I am 32 years old now and have none left that shares my lifestyle choice. Is nobody enjoying a life without a significant other as much as I do? xD

[/QUOTE]

I thought about this for a while and come to think of it , you can still do whatever you want with a significant other....just make sure as you find one that has your same interests.

secondly I understand your situation because I am kinda in it myself.Its hard finding friends especially when your out of school.There is nothing outside of work that will get you to meet new interesting people especially around your age.But there is still ways you can meet new people, try finding singles groups in your area through facebook , or even church.Some churches even have special age restricted social groups that can be fun.They are not all bible thumpers, some are normal people

Most people get married, have kids and live happily ever after.

"and that's where your wrong kiddo"(finger pistols) yeah i have a few friends and family that got married , but many seems somewhat okayish but i can see that their relationship isn't what its suppose to be.Nevertheless they still crave friends and a social life, its just that they have more pressing responsibilities and many a times ...a partner that does not agree with their social choices.

[Cosmic Janitor]

You usually trade the majority of your childhood friends for collegues (, other parents if you have kids already) and such when you become an adult. Especially the ones that have kids earlier than other immediately fall out of the social circle because the first one keep you busy and it takes a couple of years to adjust for many.

[SealMemeSix]

Honestly, I talk to people from high school/my friends from undergrad on facebook but we are not close. There are people out here I'd like to get to know better, but don't really like most of my close group of friends out here in Portland. Think we're growing apart. They make me look politically conservative by comparison, and I'm really not.

Friendships come and go. Not really anyone's fault. Go make new ones.

I lived in Portland for a couple years and can honestly say that I now hate every friend I had up there.

[Devilyaki]

Yep same here, but I do have some new ones from work I do things with ever now and then, plus I have a brother I hang out with all the time so it is whatever. That is life I guess for some.

[RapBreon]

Honestly, IV considered being single just to have more freedom and play games and eat what I want.

But the gf told me no

Lmao. Hahahaha.

[msdos]

This topic brings out sourness and salt in people.

[Deleted]

I have 3 good friends I've kept since I was a teenager.

Talking to others I get the impression this is a lot. Many have one or none from those days.

[Strawberry]

Yo, I just realized I have lost almost all my friends which I considered life-time friends. They all started dating girls and eventually married or just silently moved away from me over the years. It was a slow process, since I like to live solitary I have it especially rough. I have only 1 contact left that kinda feels the same but the distance is too far to meet weekly. I am not complaining I like the way my life shaped up as I have 100% freedom and can do whatever I want. I just thought one of my dozens friends would feel the same and stay with me till the end. I am 32 years old now and have none left that shares my lifestyle choice. Is nobody enjoying a life without a significant other as much as I do? xD

I'm 33 and I'm in the same situation
I think most single guys in their 30's feel that way. Last 20's is the breaking point for most guys. Most become boring and get married and kids.
I have moved so much that it was always hard to keep friends. I have a couple good friends whom I can trust, but they don't live anywhere near me. One is even in another country.
I get into relationships but then I get bored and want to move somewhere. I have lived 3 years in this city and I feel that it's due time to move on.
But I don't mind. I love my freedom. In fact, I value my car much more than I value my apartment. My car gives me shelter and also gives me freedom to go where I want.

[TwistedSkull]

Exactly what I've been saying.

Most people get married, have kids and live happily ever after. You're likely to end up lonely and sad if you don't do the same.

Where i am from most people who get married ends up in a divorce...

[Seirith]

I will never grow up, I just like chilling at home, playing games or watching a movie and end the day that way. I don't have a lot of urges to go out other than work and some fitness I do to not die with 50 from a random stroke.

My husband and I spend 90% of our non working time at home, playing games, watching TV, Netfilx, etc. The only time we go out if to do something specific, like a concert, vacation, maybe to the park for a walk or go to the grocery store. We are both happy at home together.

[Qnubi]

Thanks for the comments, I thought the thread was dead because none seemed to reply after 2 days. In any case, some replies were very bitter and insulting, like almost trying to have revenge on my choice of lifestyle. I always had the choice, just like everyone that wanted to get married and have kids. It's not like I never had a relationship but whenever I did, I felt less happy. On top of that I never want kids because a relationship on it's own is already time consuming enough. It seems like I value my alone time way more than typical households. I get that you can find significant other that shares my interest, but can you find one that I can tell I want to be alone the next week? Pretty sure that's hard to come by haha.

My husband and I spend 90% of our non working time at home, playing games, watching TV, Netfilx, etc. The only time we go out if to do something specific, like a concert, vacation, maybe to the park for a walk or go to the grocery store. We are both happy at home together.

That's nice! But the problem I always had is, I feel bad for telling someone that cares about me that I want to be left alone now. I feel forced to spend time with her which makes me feel uncomfortable. Not because I don't like spending time with someone but I am a pretty introvert guy that is perfectly fine with being alone most of the time.

[Stop Pretending]

Exactly what I've been saying.

Most people get married, have kids and live happily ever after. You're likely to end up lonely and sad if you don't do the same.

You're not married, you have no kids. Why do you keep pushing an agenda you know nothing about?

[StayTuned]

That's normal

My best friend is my groomsman and more like a brother to me.

Now we're both in our 30's but I am married. My 1st child is on its way, we both work more than anything else and I moved away to a city 300km away. I can't play video games in the evening like he does, or spend all my money on weekend partying.

That's how life goes. All of my colleagues at work socialize more with other colleagues than with old friends from childhood.


And yet, I still go and visit all my dear friends a couple of times per year. Some more, some less. But nonetheless we're still in contact. It's just a different, more mature kind of friendship.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Let see I have about 20 friends or so through my life, all of whom I have known an average of 20 years, on a day to day I still keep in regular contact a phone call or meet up with them every 4 to 6 months and that is with about 3 or 4 over a year maybe 6 to 8. I have family but those are not chosen by me but probably 3 or 4 over the year or months.

That isn't a lot, I KNOW OF plenty of people I associate with and hang with, but as I have aged time space it happens, some have kids, where their lives completely changes as it should and sets of priorities, some get married or embark on serious professions and careers.

Yep after you get about 30, all you built up eventually you start to see the progression and paths deviate, you'll come back together on occasion, but life happens to you unless you are standing still. Just try to stay up to date, and make a call every once in awhile, with most.

Other than that as some have suggested you make new friends.

[Celista]

I lived in Portland for a couple years and can honestly say that I now hate every friend I had up there.

Yeah to be honest, I don't like people here all that much. Older people are wealthy newcomers from CA/NY and younger set is pretentious hipster.

[Tennis]

Yeah to be honest, I don't like people here all that much. Older people are wealthy newcomers from CA/NY and younger set is pretentious hipster.

Why don't you move somewhere else then.

[Auxora]

I definitely think it's something that happens to everyone, and there are a few reasons for it.

#1 As people move apart, there seems to be a natural human tendency to break off those relationships, almost like a defense mechanism.

#2 People change, and that causes a couple of problems. Sometimes when people change from the person they were years ago, they try to bury it by distancing themselves from past friends. A friend of my wife is very snobby and racist now years later after meeting her husband and moving to the east coast. Little does her husband know that in high school his wife dated and slept with many minority guys. So she as an adult distances herself from anyone she knew in high school. I've seen other people do it that were really promiscuous in high school but are Sunday school teachers in church now, and so they avoid anyone from high school to keep the past buried.

The other problem is that especially in this political climate, if you are at one end of the spectrum and have a friend at the other end left or right, there's a good chance of that ending a friendship nowadays.

#3 Spouse/friend conflict - A lot of times the friends a person had with single that want to still hang out are single themselves, and they often are still in a lifestyle of going out to bars looking to pickup a man or woman. That doesn't go well with marriage. So people tend to break off those relationships too in order to prioritize their spouse. And if they don't, things don't usually end well for the marriage.

[Low Hanging Fruit]

I drifted from a lot of people as I got to about 35. Most of us are still good friends. Honestly when we do see each other or talk its great. It just doesnt happan all that often anymore. Kids, wifes, jobs take up most of the time. All three of those things had us moving to different locations and meeting new people that also take time. Distance becomes a factor. Thank god for the interent.

[Celista]

Why don't you move somewhere else then.

I'm thinking about it and have been thinking about it for the past year. I made a thread about possibly pursuing permanent residency in Canada, but my law degree wouldn't be directly transferable there. Even moving states can be a pain in the ass for that reason. There are things I *do* like about Portland, and Oregon in general. But the city has changed a lot since I got here.

In regards to friends, I might just need to spend more time with some people I'm acquainted with, and less time with others (who can be really draining).

[hakujinbakasama]

My husband and I spend 90% of our non working time at home, playing games, watching TV, Netfilx, etc. The only time we go out if to do something specific, like a concert, vacation, maybe to the park for a walk or go to the grocery store. We are both happy at home together.

My wife and I are similar but not entirely by choice. Neither of us communicate much (or at all in my case) with childhood friends. I don't even speak with most of the friends I had in my late teens or early 20s.

What I've come to learn more often than not is that people in general suck. But that's true for nearly everyone. People, even close friends, can be vapid and self absorbed. The older you become the less dependable people tend to be where recreation comes to matter. It's not specifically a matter of malice, we just end up taking on more responsibility and less leasure and often price that latter time very highly.