Chat Logs: <Alliance> and <Horde>

[Izhara]

In an epic bout of silliness a night or two ago, after Rusher posted a short script-looking thing in an off-topic post in a thread that had been derailed so bad it was somewhere in the middle of rural Iowa, Lokann, myself, and several others (Rusher and Phenom come to mind, feel free to post yours after the initial rush of posts) started up some raid chat and guild chat logs from the failed Naxx25 run by <Horde> and the subsequent guild chat records for them and Alliance.

Without further ado, enjoy the show!
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Rusher:
Garrosh : DOOD , let me handle this , i totally can one shot the boss
Thrall : Wait for Earth Shi-
Garrosh is Dead
Vol'Jin : Moron
Garrosh : At least i have the chicken.
Sylvanas : Unoriginal

Izhara:
Thrall: Okay, try two. Garrosh, if you wipe us again we're gkicking you and letting <Alliance> have its way with you.
Garrosh: >
Cairne: Uh, guys? Can we hurry this up? My old bones ache...
Sylvanas: Garrosh?
Garrosh: Sup baby?
Sylvanas: You keep staring at my ass and I'm going to show you why I've got command over an entire nation of zombie sociopaths.
Garrosh
Voljin: <wet coughing sounds> You tell him, granola girl!
Liadrin: Can we just do this? I've got a ToC raid to go to on my alt in an hour.
Garrosh: Your alt's in ToC?
Liadrin: And he can wipe the floor with your eBayed ass any day.
Garrosh: <Alliance> or <Horde>?
Liadrin: <Argent Crusade>.
Garrosh: I don't follow.
Lor'themar: Pulling.

Trivia Orc:
Garrosh: %&$+ WHAT THE *&%$ IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO MD THE TANK
Lor'themar: Dude, don't teach me how to play...
Garrosh: YE I WILL CUZ UR A NOOB LOL FUUUUUUUU
Lor'themar: I did MD the tank, someone else must have MDed you...
*Sylvanas whistles innocently*
Garrosh: YE RIGHT LOL I KNO WHY U DID THIS IS CUZ UR A FAG LOL
Thrall: Dude... caps...
Garrosh: LOL DONT TELL ME HOW TO TYPE WAT R U MY DAD?!?!?!?!?! NO UR NOT MY DAD WAS AWSOM LOLOLOLOL
*Garrosh is being ignored*

Izhara:
[G]Garrosh: DON'T U IGNORE ME.
[G]Thrall: Garrosh. STFU man, seriously, why did your dad ever give you his account?
[G]Drek'thar: Whoah, what happened?
[G]Cairne: Garrosh wiped us. Again.
[G]Vol'jin: <sounds akin to a very long bong hit>
[G]Sylvanas: I swear to god if I get broken gear again I'm rolling a rogue just to kick him off a Zepplin.
[G]Garona: But kick doesn't have a knockback.
[G]Sylvanas: I'll give it one.
[G]Garona: I love you.
[G]Vol'jin: Take it off!
Guild as a whole: .....

Trivia Orc:
Thrall: Vol... are you playing stoned again?
Vol'jin: Wot?
Thrall: Nvm
Garrosh: looooooooool saurfang i pwn u on dps
Saurfang: First, I'm tanking. Second, you're not. In fact, you're barely doing 1k DPS.
Garrosh: lol butthurt becuz im better
Thrall: Kiddo, you want your gear or not?
Garrosh: wtf u call me kid im older than u
Thrall: Mentally you're about 9.
Garrosh: mentally i &%$?ed ur mom
Cairne: Dude... not cool
Thrall: My mom is dead &%#$face... -.-
Garrosh: lololololol dats not wat she was tellin me last night lololololol

Izhara:
Thrall: Alright. Saurfang, get your DPS spec and gear.
Saurfang: Oh hell yes.
Vol'jin: And that's why I don't put my dick on cupcakes anymore.
Vol'jin: OMG MISTELL.
Guild: ....
Rexxar: Anyways. Does this mean I'm tanking?
Garrosh: LOLOL HUNTERS CANT TANK.
Rexxar: Funny thing, that, 'cause you can't DPS.
Rommath has come online.
Rommath: Hey guys, how's it going?
Garrosh: #@%# U REXAR UR NOT EVEN RLY HORDE. WTF U DOIN IN THIS GUILD
Rommath: Whoah, ease back on the rage man.
Halduron: Awesome, Rommath's on. Drek'thar, wanna go do some 3s?
Orgrim has come online.
Orgrim: Damn that was a long corpse run. For some reason I respawned in the Barrens and had to get to Hillsbrad to fetch my corpse.
Thrall: Sup dude? Wanna come tank Naxx25?
Orgrim: Nah, I'm gonna go fetch Gorgonna and start, uh, buffing our racials, catch my drift?
Vol'jin: OMGHAI. Wanna hit?

Trivia Orc:
Orgrim: No time, gotta fly.
*Orgrim goes AFK*
*Gorgonna goes AFK*
Thrall: Okay... now let's rebuff and try again.
Vol'jin: Ya baby, do it like dat...
Arthas: FROSTMOURNE HUNGERS!
Saurfang: Dude, WTF are you doing here?
Thrall: WTF? Arthas? How'd you join?
Garrosh: i inved him hes good dps dk Smiley
Cairne: /facepalm
Garrosh: lololol hed pwn u old cow
Cairne: That's it, I'm too old for this &%#$!
*Cairne has gone offline*
Thrall: Okay, I'm GM, I'm not having homicidal maniacs in the guild...
Arthas: But I'll be nice, I swear... :3
Thrall: Yeah that's worked before... -.-
*Arthas has been kicked from the guild*
Saurfang Jr.: Dude... he's really good
Thrall: Doesn't matter if he's good, he's a moron. He'd probably stand in the fire or forget to repair his sword so it's break in the middle of the raid or w/e
Saurfang Jr.: Whatev noobs, I'm going with him.
Saurfang Jr.: Cya on the world first lists
*Saurfang Jr. leaves the guild*
Thrall: -.-
Vol'jin: Mistell...

Izhara:
Sylvanas: God I hate that guy. <Quel'Thelas> let him in on a raid once and he spent all night doing dick things like getting us killed and using a gnomish MC ray on me.
Thrall: I bet <Alliance> never has to put up with this crap.

*in <Alliance>'s guild channel*

Staghelm: ##$% you Tyrande, all you've done is fangirl over Elune since Beta!
Tyrande: At least I'm not trying to poison my class lead officer!
Furion: Fandrel, really. You keep that up and you're getting typhooned off Nordrassil.
Velen: I could just gquit and join <Sha'tar>...
Varian: Alright, to hell with this. Who's up for some WSG?
Mekkatorque: I'll go!
Varian: ...... Anyone with an 80?

Trivia Orc:
Bolvar: Hey wazzup?
Varian: Bolvar, ma man! Where you been?
Bolvar: Ya know... just chillin. ;D
Varian: Wanna join WSG?
Bolvar: Hmmmm nah, I'm kinda busy
Ner'zhul: PUNY HUMANS, I WILL CRUSH YOU!
Velen: How'd you get into this chat? :-\
Ner'zhul: Funny thing, I'm just chilling around in the Nether, doing ghost things, when all of the sudden this dude just comes and puts on the freakin-
Bolvar: Cool story bro.
Varian: Hahaha pwned! /highfive
Bolvar: He got kinda burned! /brofist
Varian: HAHAHA... wait, I didn't get that one...
Bolvar: Nvm -.-

Izhara:
Magni: So this is a story, all about how, my brother's life got flipped around and turned upside down.
Magni: He got into one little fight and our mom got scared--
Muradin: Don't start, Magni.
Paletress has come online.
Paletress: Hey guys. Sorry I'm late, got held up in Naxx25. Who's up for ToC?
Jaina: I'm almost done making my new robes.
Varian: Alright. I'll tank.
Magni: Like hell. Last time you tanked it was a wipe night. You're on DPS.
Varian: So who's tanking?
Muradin: Let me get my tank set.
Velen: Will I be healing?
Tyrande: Yep. Disc power, gogo!
Staghelm: I thought we were doing Ulduar10 so I can get geared up?
Paletress: Yeah... about that. Nobody here really likes you. Especially not after you drugged Malfurion and tried to get him hooked on morphine.
Staghelm: Oh, sure, Varian starts a war and he's our guild's main DPS. I drug someone and all of a sudden I'm a complete monster.

Trivia Orc:
Velen: Drugs are bad, mkay?
Staghelm: w/e
Muradin: Yeah dude, don't do that &%#$. I've tried raiding with the Hordes once and the Troll dude kept smoking a bong longer than his forearm... -.-
Varian: That's what she said!
Bolvar: /highfive
Varian: /highfive
Anduin: Dad, what's this all about?
Varian: Ammmmmmm nothing, nothing... just go to sleep.
Anduin: I'm 11 WTF is this?
Varian: It's nothing, now go to sleep... -.-
*Anduin has gone offline*
Varian: Now see what you did Bolvar
*Anduinbank has come online*
Bolvar: Me? It was you who said that stupid "penis longer than a forearm" joke...
Anduinbank: ...
*Anduinbank has gone offline*
Varian: FUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Izhara:
Genn has come online.
Genn: Uh.. hey guys.
Varian: Oh hey! It's the powergamer who said he didn't need us anymore.
Genn: Yeah... that was a dick move, sorry.
Bolvar: Sup man?
Genn: Well, long story short, Sylvanas was pissed about Garrosh... something about eBay, and decided to take it out on Gilneas. We're also eating forced race changes to Worgen so... yeah. Could we get a little help?
Tyrande: Sure. I'll send Velinde over.
Genn: Really?
Tyrande: Nope. Go rez her and earn her help yourself.
Genn:
Varian: Dude, just move out. You guys can crash at my place.
Jaina: Genn, you a tank?
Genn: Uh, yeah, what's up?
Paletress: We need a tank for ToGC25. If you tank for us we'll let you in.
Varian: Yo, Muradin, we got a tank.
Muradin: ... Always after I finish gemming and enchanting the tank gear I just bought with emblems.

Trivia Orc:
*Terenas has come online*
Terenas: Hey guys, anyone seen my corpse? :/
Velen: Nope...
Tyrande: No
Muradin: Sry, no
Terenas: That's just great... -.-
Terenas: My damn &%$#er of a son rerolled UD and ganked me.
Terenas: There's nothing more humiliating than your own son teabagging your corpse...
Varian: Dude, that's just messed up...
Bolvar: Ditto
Terenas: Meh, now I can't find my corpse... -.-
Varian: Oh, I remember now...
Bolvar: In the mountains?
Varian: Haha no /brofist
Bolvar: /brofist
Varian: No, he had this q
Terenas: ...
*2 min pass*
Varian: Sry, was AFK for a moment... oh right, the q
Varian: Yeah, he got this q to get your urn and piss in it.
Terenas: WHAT!?!!?!
Varian: Lol read it again, I'm not retyping.
Terenas: Crap -.-
Varian: No, he didn't do that.
Terenas: Ehhhh I guess I'll have to reroll... but I kinda CBA
Thassarian: Lol just roll a DK you can be 80 in no time
Terenas: Yeah, I will just reroll a DK... after my DK son killed me and kept shoving his frozen &%$$s in my face... Thanks a lot! -.-

[Phenomina]

You left out my Alliance Arena one! I knew it was terrible :'(

[Deleted]

You left out my Alliance Arena one! I knew it was terrible :'(

It probably just didn't fit into the storyline or something... feel free to repost it though. ;D

[Izhara]

You left out my Alliance Arena one! I knew it was terrible :'(

I'd forgotten to save yours and Rusher's posts :'( I'm sorry!

[Deleted]

I'd forgotten to save yours and Rusher's posts :'( I'm sorry!

Meh, just pop into the original thread again when you've got time.

[Gillun]

yay the epic sillyness can continue!

[klheart]

Well i thought mine was funny /pout. Ah well. Hopefully this will give a lot of people a good laugh. Ill be the first to rate!

∞/10

[Deleted]

Well i thought mine was funny /pout. Ah well. Hopefully this will give a lot of people a good laugh. Ill be the first to rate!

∞/10

I think Izhara just forgot to copy the more recent ones...

[Huntaer]

Without further ado, enjoy the show!
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Gief more, this stuff is full of win!!

[aliancekill]

rediculous.

[Lightfist]

I think Izhara just forgot to copy the more recent ones...

Yeah, sure...YOUR LIES DON'T HIDE THE PAIN!

[willjones410]

These are awesome!

[Deleted]

Yeah, sure...YOUR LIES DON'T HIDE THE PAIN!

Here you go, maybe these will ease the pain a little:

SPF18

*Xturalyonx has come online.*
Xturalyonx: Sup guys! Guess what!
Varian: Your stupid gf broke up with you again?
Xturalyonx: No...
Bolvar: Oh, really? Too bad. I'd sap that ;-)
Varian: /chestbump
Bolvar: /chestbump
Xturalyonx: STFU guys, I'm serious. I think I'm getting my account back soon :-D
Varian: Oh, great...
Tyrande: FFS
Muradin: God damnit.
Xturalyonx: Be quiet, guys! I'm serious!
Velen: Wait, guys, I'm confused...do we know this guy?
Varian: Yeah, biggest asshole ever.
Muradin: Fail ass lolret.
Xturalyonx: Hey!
Bolvar: No, he wasn't lolret. Dumbass was a hybrid. Holy-ret. Worse than a FOTM.
Xturalyonx: Look, I didn't like holy, and I couldn't get into dungeons as ret!
Varian: We don't care, dick. You could have either healed Lothar or you could have killed those stupid Orcs. But no. You sat there auto-attacking and casting FoL while getting spell-push back.
Xturalyonx: It's not my fault my cast got interrupted!
Bolvar: Is that what you said to Alleria?
Varian: ROFL
Tyrande: lol
Muradin: Pwnd
Xturalyonx: STFU!!1!
Velen: So, wait...did he lose his account or something?
Varian: Yeah, dumbshit went to some place called Outland and can't get back on now.
Velen: Rofl, what a noob. Outland sucks.
Bolvar: Heh, I bet Alleria sucks a lot too >;-)
Xturalyonx: FFS GUYS STFU FUKING HATE U GUYS GONNA JOIN TEH CRUSADE OR SOMETHING WHEN I GET BAK >:-(((((((((((
Varian: Yeah, like they'd take a scrub like you. They downed the LK, noob.
Xturalyonx: Go to hell, fag.
*Xturalyonx has gone offline*
Terenas: Lol, ragequit.


Phenomina

Varian - Sending Invites out!
* Tyrande has joined the group*
* Bolvar has joined the group *
* Velen has joined the group *
* Jaina has joined the group *
Tyrande - What are we doing?
* You are now qued for Arena *
Tyrande - Oh F' no are you serious?
Varian - QQ I need 10 games so I can get my relentless bracers
Jaina - This doesn't look like ToC?
Velen - Dude I don't even have PvP gear on
Varian - You guys whine like mules grow a pair
Bolvar - Pussy clothies lol
Velen - Shut up dude I seen you die to a lvl 68.. I mean all you have to do is press 1 button
Bolvar - Bullshit that never happened
Jaina - I seen the screenshot man Vancleef was stealthed watched the whole thing laughed his ass off and posted it on the website lol
Varian - Okay STFU the match is starting did everyone hotkey there gladius add-on?
Tyrande - What the hell is Gladius?!
Velen - F#$% if I know... Hey what am I supposed to be doing?
Varian - Do the only thing Draenei know how to do! Run away and kite shit and keep yourself Alive
Velen - * pfft * asshole....
Tyrande - lol
Varian - What did you just say? nm... Tyrande keep me healed. Jaina sheep their healer! Bolvar do what you do best!
* Jaina sheeps the enemy hunters pet *
Jaina - I sheeped the Helper!
Tyrande - Good greif.... :-\
Varian - The what?! Are you kidding me I said Healer! H...E...
Jaina - I heard you I'm not a r'tard!
Velen - no comment....
* Bolvar bubbles starts casting Hearthstone *
Varian - Bolvar WTF
Bolvar - You said do what I do best! I'm peacing the F out of here before I die
Varian - You know what dude... I f'ing hate you
* Tyrande Dies *
Tyrande - This is such BS...
Jaina - OMG get this rogue off me
Varian - Iceblock
Jaina - How AM I supposed to kill him then smart guy?
Varian - Trinket the Stun
Jaina - Trinket?!
* Jaina Dies *
Jaina - Rogues are OP, I'm going to flood MMO with posts
Velven - Uhmm.. no your just a idiot
Jaina - Eat a D Velen
* Varian Dies *
Varian - Nice heals Velen you moron
Velen - What? I'm still alive not my problem if you can't look out for yourself
Varian - F%^& this im done with you clowns.
Bolvar - Hey guys can someone help me I'm getting camped in Stormpeaks?
Varian - ..... It's been nice knowing ya. I'm name changing to Lo'gash and going back to Orgrimmar where people know how to fight.
Tyrande - Whatever Elitist prick
* Varian has left the group *
* Varian has left the guild *
Velen - I totally saw that coming... :-\


garroshforpresident

Meanwhile, at the >Horde< Guild....


Vol'jin: lol ya guys seen da new applicant on da web page?
Cairne: no lol too high to read x)
Rexxar: oh lol the goblin dude?
Garrosh: wtf goblin? ololol
Vol'jin: trade prince maldy mon
Garrosh: ololol wtf is a trade prince , and maldy olol who helped him name that, his mom ololol
Thrall: ... well he has no raiding exp, and hes blue geared i donno about taking him in...
Sylvanas: well we need more members to have a steady roster and actually have a raid when garrosh is offline...
Garrosh: wtflol i pwn, and wtf is this we should make this a pvp guild imo, just do wsg and camp the gy!
Thrall: yeah, sec...
>Maldy has joined the Horde<
Rexxar: welcome
Maldy: HAI
Lor'Themar: whalecum lol
Maldy: you guys still doing naxx 10? i need sum epics
Rexxar: sigh... just farm heroics lol
Garrosh: stfu noobtard hunter, just go pvp lol, pve is for #%@#s


Lokann

Thrall: Okay, last change for you Garrosh...
Thrall: What is your spec?
Garrosh: 33/28/0
*Silence for 3 minutes*
Rexxar: Lol dude... just lol
Saurfang: /facepalm
Garrosh: why facepalm???
Saurfang: That spec's been defunct since 3.0.2...
Garrosh: ye so what
Saurfang: You're playing a spec that hasn't been used since TBC...
Garrosh: ye im a bc player
Saurfang: Yet you're 80 and in Northrend.
Garrosh: y should the fact that i play in bc not make me ding lol???
Saurfang: Because if you're leveling past 70 it's hardly a TBC experience noob -.-
Saurfang: And why didn't you spend your last 10 points?
Garrosh: dude i told ya
Garrosh: bc player
Saurfang: /facepalm /headdesk /bodywall
Garrosh: ???
Vol'jin: Lookat alla dem cute lil Trollz floatin round ma head!


Zhaelnas

Thrall: Alright, let's see your dual spec. You went tank like we told you, right?
Garrosh: Lol no!
Saurfang:
Thrall: What the...this is the same spec!
Garrosh: Yeah double tha dps LOL!
Thrall: I wondered why you took so much damage...
Sylvanas: And couldn't keep threat.
Rexxar: My PET could tank better than you, Garrosh.
Garrosh: Stfu Rexxar hunters r ez mode and u know it all u fkin do is hit 1 butn!!!!!
Rexxar: Comparable to your mighty 1.1k dps, i'd say I know what im doing.
Garrosh: CMON THEN NOOB, DUEL OUTSIDE ORG!!!
Thrall: We don't have time for this, we have Onyxia 25 to help the alts gear up today.
*Rokhan has logged in*
Rokhan: Yo mon, wat be 'appenin?
Garrosh: Ffs moar noob hunterz steal my weaps!!!
Rokhan: I be a -shadow- hunter...
Thrall: I've got a gkick with your name on it Garrosh...
Garrosh: Wtf lol noob u talk bs i cant believe ur leader i mean that-
*Garrosh has been removed from the guild*
Sylvanas: Thank the Dark...
Rokhan: ???
[Garrosh] Whispers: dude pls pls pls let me back in im rly soz
[Thrall] Whisper: Fine, only cause we need you...
[Garrosh] tyyy!!!! <3
*Garrosh has joined the guild*
[Rexxar] Thanks for kicking him Thrall he's such a-
[Garrosh] WTF U SAY ABOUT ME REX?


Rusher

[Thrall] Garrosh
[Garrosh] Wha?
[Thrall] STFU
Grom has come online.
[Grom] Garrosh!!!!
[Garrosh] What?
[Grom] You have to go to sleep.
[Garrosh] Daddy plz , 5 minutes moar.
[Thrall] Lol pwnt
[Grom] No , you come now!
Grom has gone offline
Garrosh has gone offline
[Thrall] Aw man , we miss a melee DPS now.
Blackhand has come online
[Saurfang] Oh shi-
[Blackhand] Thrall , why did you rename the guild?! And why are the elves in?!
[Thrall] Soz
[Blackhand] This faggotry ends now.
The New Horde has been disbanded.
TO be continued!


Lokann

*Orgrim has come online*
Orgrim: Oh, hi again.
Blackhand: Hello, Orgrim...
Orgrim: Blackhand...
Blackhand: You thought me so easily vanquished, did you? Now I will show you the true might of Mannoroth's Blood!
Orgrim: Bring it on!
<GM>Snugglepants: STOP!
Blackhand: WTF?
<GM>Snugglepants: There's been a terrible mistake, Blackhand's account bugged. He should be a female Gnome Warrior with pink ponytails.
Blackhand: THAT'S NOT TRUE! NOT TRUE! AAAAARGH!!!
*Terrible transformation sounds*
Garrosh: GNOME! KILL IT! KILL IT!
*Sound of decapitation*
<GM>Snugglepants: My work here is done.
Thrall: What the hell just happened?
Vol'jin: Dis dude came oudda da heavens an' turned da evul Warchief into a Gnome so Garrosh killed 'im... or 'er, or w/e... mon me 'ead hurt like dere be a buncha rhinos in it -.-
Saurfang: Hmmm didn't Garrosh go off because of his dad?
Garrosh: dude dont tell him im playing on my laptop in my bed
Grom: And you didn't bother to check if I'm online? Son, I am disappoint.
Garrosh: DADAGGRO!!!
Grom: I'm so gonna aggro your &%$ son, you won't be able to sit for a week!
*Garrosh has gone offline*
*Grom has gone offline*
Vol'jin: Good news everyone! I just found anotha bong!
Thrall: Here we go again... -.-


Rusher

Thrall : Lol dudes where is Garrosh?
Sylvanas : Why should we care?
Putress : Oh hai guys can i be with you?
Thrall : Hmm . it's ok i guess
Putress has taken away 2.450.000 gold from the bank
Thrall : Holy crap , OUR BUDGET!
Lor'Themar : Good bye new Silvermoon :<
Vol'Jin : KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!
Thrall : Kk guys , we gotta raid that ninja's house , where does he live?
Sylvanas : He took Undercity away from mee Q_Q
Thrall : So.. who's with me
Cairne : Me
Rexxar : Me
Sylvanas : Me
Lor'Themar : Me
Vol'Jin : Me
Other 1500 Guild members : Me
6 Hours later near Undercity
Thrall : WTF guys? Why is here only Sylvanas
Cairne : Oh soz buddy , i'm too old for this
Rexxar : What is Undercity?
Lor'Themar : Sorry guys , can't find the portal from Silvermoon to Undercity
Vol'Jin : My house is on da fire.
Thrall : /facepalm
Garrosh has come online
Garrosh : O hay guys wussup?!
Thrall : yo dude , wanna come raid Undercity?
Garrosh : Sure , let me get the gryphon
Grom has come online
Garrosh : OH SHI-
Garrosh has gone offline
Grom (GuildVent listening) : Come here motherfucker! I'l put my Gorehowl up your ass if i find you!
Sylvanas : Lulz


Lokann

Meanwhile, in <Alliance>...

Varian: Lol Horde got hacked xD
Bolvar: So we can get world firsts now?
Varian: YEAH!
Jaina: Hmmm the Horde's lost the Undercity, they're trying to retake it.
Varian: So what, let them have that stupid &%#$hole, it's smelly anyways.
Velen: But they've been betrayed...
Varian: /care
Tyrande: But we'll lose their help if the Legion attacks again...
Varian: /care
Magni: But they'll get world first Putress kill...
Varian: &#38;#$%ERS! Get the portals up right now! Thrall ain't stealing my spotlight! >
Jaina: ...
Varian: Do it! My awesomeness is at stake!
Jaina: As you wish, my king...
*Later, at the Undercity*
Varian: So, where is everyone?
Broll: We're here.
Varian: Lol, a feral drood, a rogue, a warrior and a mage... just great -.- Where are all the healers?
Jaina: Well, Tyrande's praying to Elune to guide us...
Varian: That's good I guess.
Jaina: And Velen is praying to the Naaru to guide us...
Varian: So, they're really not doing anything.
Valeera: Nope.
Varian: I knew we should have recruited more Human healers...
Jaina: Well, there is...
Varian: Yeah?
Jaina: Archbishop Benedictus.
Varian: And where is he?
Jaina: Praying to the Light to guide us...
Varian: ...


Zhaelnas

*Fighting their way in through the sewers*
Varian: Abominations...slime...what next?
Broll: Your mother?
Varian: ooh, nice! /hifive
Broll: /hifive
Jaina: Once you two stop being idiots we can continue? I thought you wanted world first?
Varian: Chill, babes.
Valeera: *sounds of combat* Yuck, what is that giant long...
Broll: p- Slime Worm!
Varian: Right, usual thing, tank and spank! Make sure you throw the right heals!
Jaina: I'm no healer...
*after combat*
Varian: If the Horde are here i say we gank their asses!
Jaina: I don't see them, and that's Putress' chamber up ahead.
Varian: YEAH BABY! CMON!
Broll: *steps in slime pool and trips* ARGH! That's the second most disgusting fluid i've ever had in my eye!


Lokann

Varian: If you're done making fag jokes, we have a world first to achieve!
Jaina: Now you suddenly care about it again? ???
Varian: I am the king of Stormwind and NOTHING will keep me from my world first kill!
Broll: Dude, you already said that in the comics... -.-
Varian: I don't remember any world firsts there.
Broll: Nvm
*They enter the lab of Putress*
Varian: Putress! Today thou shallt fall for the Light's Justice hath arriveth to taketh youth downeth!
Broll: WTF was that?
Varian: L2RP nub
Broll: That's not RP, it's gibberish!
Varian: Says who?
Putress: So... what exactly are you guys here for?
Jaina: To kill you, once these two stop bickering.
Putress: That doesn't seem likely to happen.
Jaina: You're right.
*Fire Blast one shot*
Varian: Wooooo who's baaad who's baaad I'm baaad! He just heard my voice and died of fear!
Broll: He probably just saw your chin.
Varian: What was that?
Broll: Nvm
Thrall yells: LOK'TAR OGAR!
Varian: WTF Thrall?!?!?
Jaina: Stop! Don't... bugger -.-


Zhaelnas

Valeera: Silly as it might seem, im having doubts whether we should kill the people who enslaved and chained me.
Broll: Kinky...
*Broll is slapped over the nose*
Thrall: Varian, we meet again...
Varian: I've been expecting you!
Jaina; Wtf, whats with the Spy quotations! :-\
Sylvanas: Guys, your on my pad, beer or gtfo.
*Garrosh has logged online*
[Garrosh] joins the group
Garrosh: Hey noobs i hsed to UC lol and lets see if we can-
Varian: Is that GARROSH?!
Garrosh: OMG NOOB VARIAN!
Jaina: F*&^ this shit!
*Broll is eating something!*
Jaina: If you guys dont chill i'll portal us all.
Garrosh: Stfu noob bitch make me a sammich!
Jaina: Oh, that is IT!


Lokann

Back to the <Horde>

Garrosh: varian is such a noob he had his stupid pet mage port him away lol
Thrall: She made the best choice.
Garrosh: ye i forgot ur her pet doggie
Thrall: We're just friends...
Garrosh: doz she make u put on a collar and bark?
Thrall: ... No.
Garrosh: cuz i found this collar in ur wardrobe
Thrall: GIVE THAT BACK!
Garrosh: it says
Garrosh: thrall = slave
Thrall: Stop it, please...
Garrosh: remember ull always be one
Saurfang: Thrall... is there something you want to share with us? :-\
Thrall: He's lying! He's lying! Make him stop! *Sound of crying*
Garrosh: lol ur like her pet irl? thats sick
Saurfang: Garrosh, enough.
Garrosh: stfu i can say what i like
*Cairne has come online*
Thrall: She makes me feel special... I'm just doing whatever I can to please her!
Garrosh: like i did to ur mom lololololol
Cairne: This &%$# still going on? :-\
*Cairne has gone offline*
Saurfang: You're really annoying, Garrosh, you know that?
Garrosh: im just telling the truth
Thrall: I called your dad, now we'll see about "the truth"!
Garrosh: omg u didn't
*Grom has come online*
Garrosh: oh $#%&
Grom: Get to bed you worthless peon!
*Garrosh has gone offline*
Grom: And next time hide your collar better.
*Grom has gone offline*
Thrall: It's not my collar!


Zhaelnas

Sylvanas: You're right, Thrall...that is mean...it's made of LEATHER *snicker*
Thrall: Cut it out or i'll demote you...
Vol'Jin: Ya mon, i must be trippin' cuz i aint seen sh*^ this wierd since i stuffed fifty of 'em togetha...
Thrall: I can't remember the last time you came to a raid...
Rexxar: Misha is hungry, anyone got some Chilled Meat?
Saufang: I got some, swing by Orgrimmar...
Sylvanas: Why hasn't Grom just deleted Garrosh's account already?\
Saurfang: He needs somewhere to store his junk...
Thrall: And he can bribe him with gold.
Sylvanas: ...Joke's on the <Alliance>
Vol'Jin: How ya mean, mon?
Sylvanas: Putress is Forsaken, he's died before...Arthas got world first...
*Somewhere else, Varian has reached this conclusion. You can hear the faint shout of*
Varian: ffffffuuuuuuu...!


Slackzor

Meanwhile...>Alliance<

Varian: omfg wtf was that putriss bull#$%&?! NO WORLD FIRST?!
Muradin: its Putress.. l2spell
Varian: stfu dorf, l2betall
Bolvar: haha pwnt /brofist
Varian: /brofist!
Jaina: i got an ingame mail from saurfangs ally alt here, he says that we should go together and rush up at teh wrath gate to attack teh Lich King.. i dno about this
Varian: wtf lol, im not gonna go together with those dogs
Bolvar: olol, let me dude, i havent been inved to a raid since like forever, i need sum fresh epics, plus when it all ends u guys can liek, charge in and roflstomp the horde and u can maybeh get a world first on teh lich king!
Varian: oh lawd, ur rite! i love ur brainz man /hifive
Bolvar: /hifive
Magni: u shure u can manage alone lad?...hic
Bolvar: ya lol im a pally, if all goes bad ill just bubble hearth rofl


Rusher

Jaina: Saurfang said he'll send his son
After 10 days , at the Wrathgate:
Bolvar : for the Alliance!!!!111
Lil'Cleave : Lok'Tar Ogar!
Lich King : That's it u bitches , i'm sick of you , you're going DOWN , TO THE GROUND BABY!
Lil'Cleave : Ololol noob , /charge!
Lich King : I'm defense capped lololol you can't hit me.
Lil'Cleave : Shit
Lich King : FROSTMOURNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lil'Cleave : Oh noes , i'm dying blaaargh
While he dies all the Horde and Alliance are just looking at him without even trying to help him.
Bolvar : o sorry i was Afk what happened?
Lich King : I totally pwned him
Bolvar : Dat's it , COME ON TRAITOR!!! /cha-
Putress : LOL DID U THINK WE HAD FORGOTTEN ; did u think we had forgiven? WE ARE LEGION WE NEVER FORGIVE WE NEVER FORGET , time to die bishes.
Lich King : brb retreat
Bolvar : Hahah u fail i bubble
Putress casts mass dispel.
Bolvar : Oh shi-


Lokann

Alexstrasza: Soooooo... what the hell just happened?
Korialstrasz: The mortals attacked the Icecrown Citadel. They were betrayed by the Royal Apothecary Society and almost killed off. We intervened...
Alexstrasza: Yeah, yeah, I know that, but why the hell does the timeline seem a bit weird?
Korialstrazs: What do you mean?
Alexstrasza: Well, first Bolvar was the new Lich King, then Varian attacked the Undercity, Jaina killed Putress and now Putress pwned them? :-\
Nozdormu: Wasn't me.
Korialstrasz: Ammmm... Putress was reanimated again? IDK o_O
Alexstrasza: And how was Bolvar the Lich King first and then was burned at the Wrathgate?
Korialstrasz: ...
Korialstrasz: It was all an optical illusion?
Alexstrasza: Whatev, I'm leaving. Nozdormu, take care of this mess.
*The red dragons leave*
Nozdormu: It's all going exactly as I planned...
*Dun dun DUUUUUUUUN!*


klheart

Meanwhile at <Alliance Chatlog>

Varian: Where the hell is Bolvar? We need a tank!!!!!!11!!!ONE!!!
<Kael'thas enters chat>
Magni: What is this I don't even...
Kael'thas [GM]: I'm sorry to say Bolvar won't be returning anytime soon.
Tyrande: wat
Varian: NOOOOOOOOO
Jaina: Woah kael since when have you been a GM?
Kael'thas [GM]: Don't look so smug, I know what youre thinkin-
Magni: Oh god please don't
Velen: So what happened to Bolvar exactly?
Kael'thas [GM]: He was perma banned because he used saronite bombs during the wrathgate encounter.
Varian: Yo, Kael, I'm really happy for you, but Bolvar is going to have one of the best setbacks of all time!

[Baranfac]

I am not amused.

[Lightfist]

Here you go, maybe these will ease the pain a little...

Gonna' be honest, forgot I did one.

I was just whining =P

[Kebab]

Haha, these are epic

[Izhara]

-leaves the thread in Lok's capable hands-

[klheart]

These deserve to go on WoWWiki or something :P

[Deleted]

These deserve to go on WoWWiki or something :P

Oh gods no! The sheer awesomeness of these and ALAMOS DURID GUIDE would break the internets or something. ;D

-leaves the thread in Lok's capable hands-

Right, chief! Ain't gonna let you down!

[Lightfist]

Oh gods no! The sheer awesomeness of these and ALAMOS DURID GUIDE would break the internets or something. ;D

Right, chief! Ain't gonna let you down!

I think you're the only Orc I'd trust with any form of written language.