After almost eleven years since The Sixth Sense and seven years since his last major motion picture, Haley Joel-Osment has returned to the spotlight to blame his absence on his growing addiction to the World of Warcraft. No, I'm not a drug addict. No I'm not a porn addict. I'm a level 77 guild master with innate healing abilities. I've almost gotten to the end of the Ice Crown Citadel and I'm just trying to remain focused.
Osment appeared at the press-conference with a fully developed beard, a pockmarked set of acne scares and a noticeably pale face. Joining Osment at the podium was a bottle of Mountain Dew and a half-opened package of beef jerky.
"I only have so much time to tell you people that I'm still famous. Ogrekiller64 is planning a massive dungeon raid, and I've gotta be back in time to sign up."
Osment reportedly fielded a series of questions by papparazzi and reporters alike, most of which revolved around his level of armor and his choice of spell-crafting. "I'm an engineer with a 250-level skill set. I know it's not much, but I've avoided mining for valuables."
Osment then presented the press gathered with a series of photographs showing irunthiscity6, Osment's Tauren Druid, competing in duels with other higher-leveled players. "We've gotten a strong guild going, and if anyone out there's listening, we're looking for new recruits. And tell Weinstein Films to stop calling my cell-phone." Osment then popped a large swig of Mountain Dew, threw a smoke bomb on the floor, and retreated to the back rooms of the Hilton-Raddison Hotel, where he preceded to frag a large number of Death Knights with his Maul spell.</quote>