The Adventures of Sylvanas and Tim, installment 2: Naked Trolls are 4 Party

[Lightfist]

If you haven't read the first part, go here first.

Next one is out!

As night sets on peaceful Quel'Thalas, Tim works by the light of enchanted candles to finish his latest strategy...unfortunately, Sylvanas is unable to sleep.

Sylvanas: Tim?

Tim: Sylvanas?! What are you doing here? And why are you STILL not wearing pants.

Sylvanas: Because I'm the general now, silly! We're not supposed to wear pants.

Tim: ...right.

Sylvanas: Anyway, I couldn't sleep.

Tim: ...right.

Sylvanas: And I'm bored.

Tim: So, go look for pirates or whatever stupid crap you've been doing.

Sylvanas: Pirates? Tim, don't be an idiot. Pirates are nocturnal.

Tim: ...Sylvanas, it's nighttime right now.

Sylvanas: What does that have to do with anything?

Tim: You just said they were nocturnal.

Sylvanas: Right, they're afraid of nachos.

Tim: I...uhh...Sylvanas...fine, you're right. How stupid of me.

Sylvanas: Anyway...let's go exploring!

Tim: Exploring? You mean scouting? That's actually pretty mature of you to suggest -

Sylvanas: What? No! Let's look for treasure and stuff!

Tim: ...

Sylvanas: Yeah, I thought you'd be speechless. Thank me later! Grab your stuff.

Tim: Okay, Sylvanas, where would be exploring? Where were you wanting to head to?

Sylvanas: How would I know that? It's not exploring if you know where you're going!

Tim: So, by exploring, you mean amble around in the forest until you get bored?

Sylvanas: No! I mean exploring!

Tim: You know what? Fine. Just...fine.

After much walking, and even more complaining, Sylvanas and Tim reached arrived at the heart of Eversong forest.

Tim: Okay, Sylvanas. We're exploring. How long until we go home?

Sylvanas: We haven't even found any treasure!

Tim: ...oh, of course. The treasure lost in the woods that we've lived next to our entire lives.

Sylvanas: Right inside our noses!

Tim: *Groan*

Unknown: Who be der, mon?

Sylvanas: Tim! Pirates! Get the nachos!

Tim: I DON'T HAVE ANY NACHOS. THERE ARE NO NACHOS IN THE MIDDLE OF A FOREST.

Troll: STOP RIGHT DER, MON! You be trespassin' in da Amani forest! We gonna put you in da voodoo, mon!

Sylvanas: See, Tim! Pirates!

Tim: That's a troll, Sylvanas. A very angry troll.

Several more trolls appear, all carrying spears and ropes.

Tim: Correction. Very angry Trolls

Sylvanas: Why are they naked? Are we going to a party?

Troll: *Laughs* Ya' mon, you going to a party! The last you gonna eva be attendin'!

Sylvanas: *Claps* See, Tim? A party!

Tim: We're not going to a party. I can assure you of that.

The trolls surround Sylvanas and Tim, and start bounding them in ropes

Sylvanas: Ooooh! This is definitely a party, Tim!

Tim: Great. Just great. The last night of my life is going to be spent getting violated by trolls and voodoo.

Troll: Ah! Jus' be shuttin' dem up, mon! Please!

After being knocked out, Sylvanas and Tim wake up in a large troll village. Bound back to back, all they can see is dancing trolls and the large pot of boiling water they are suspended over.

Tim: Sylvanas...if we get out of here -

Sylvanas: You don't have to say it, Tim. I regret not learning the pan-flute, too.

Tim: Sure. That's what I was going to say.

Troll: Quiet! Both of ya'!

Sylvanas: Why aren't you wearing pants, Mr. Troll?

Troll: Yer roastin' above a pot, and all ya' ken be thinkin' about is why I not be wearin' any clothes?

Sylvanas: Well, I think it's because we're at a party. Tim, though, doesn't think so. So I'm trying to prove I'm right, because Tim always acts like he's SOOOO smart, even though he doesn't even know about pants pirates!

The trolls quit dancing and stare at Sylvanas incredulously

Troll: You...you be knowin' 'bout da pants pirates?

Tim: You have GOT to be kidding me!

Sylvanas: Yeah, but Tim didn't believe me about them.

Troll: Girl, da pirates done stole every bita clothes we had!

Tim: ...

Sylvanas: See, Tim? I told you we needed to take them seriously!

Tim: ...

Troll: Well, den...you be knowin' why we gotta be sacrificin' you!

Tim: No, I don't. You know why? BECAUSE THERE ARE NO PIRATES THAT STEAL PANTS.

Troll: Den why don't we be havin' pants on, mon?

Sylvanas: Yeah, Tim. Answer that with your fancy hat.

Tim: I'm not WEARING A HAT!

Sylvanas: *gasp* The pirates took it!

Tim: ...yes, you know what. The pirates DID take it! That must mean they're close.

The trolls gasp, many of them trembling.

Troll: To arms, my bruddahs! Da pirates be close at hand!

Sylvanas: Ooh, ooh! Mr. Troll! If you cut us down, we can help! I know a lot about the pirates!

Troll: Well...fine. But I be watchin' you, mon! You bettah be here after da' battle!

The trolls cut down Sylvanas and Tim, handing each of them a bow.

Troll: Alright, muh sons of da voodoo! Get to da circle 'round da village! We be killin' dem damned pirates tonight!

Tim: *whispering to Sylvanas* Alright, let's get out of here while they're not looking.

Sylvanas: But Tim! The pirates! We have to help!

Tim: ...Yeah, of course. We're going to Silvermoon for...reinforcements!

Sylvanas: OOOOH! Smart thinking!

After several hours of fumbling around, Sylvanas and Tim finally arrive at Silvermoon City.

Sylvanas: Tim?

Tim: Yes?

Sylvanas: I'm really sorry about your hat.

Tim: ...me too. Me too.

[GennGreymane]

i love u man

[Kelger]

Ahahahahaha.

[Kelakar]

HAHAHAHAH!!!! Great stuff! I think WoW really needs someone like Sylvanas

[mebeblood]

rofl this was awesome, seriously man

[Lolretadin]

I'm sorry, I have to say I dislike these. I enjoy things which are meant to be "stupid" humor but, even to me, I don't find it funny. I probably would find this alot funnier drunk, but I don't sober. Sorry if it sounds like I'm being rude, but I just wanted to give feedback. The reasons I dislike it are really stupid as well. The RPer in me doesn't like Sylvanas sounds even more stupid there than how she actually sounds, Tim is a very generic name, and the text is a bit too over the top for me to get into it. I applaud that you were able to make something many people enjoy, even though I dont personally like it.

[Frumpy Frumpy Frak]

Does she get burned at the stake at the end of the story? Please tell me she does.

[Mijen]

Why is this in the Cataclysm section?

[superbattler]

replace sylvanas with any gnome. it'll make more sense.

[Grinco]

Why is this in the Cataclysm section?

Didnt you know that this story is a base for the Cataclysm story?

On a serious note: Nice work :P

[GennGreymane]

replace sylvanas with any gnome. it'll make more sense.

hell no it would be boring

[Lightfist]

I'm sorry, I have to say I dislike these. I enjoy things which are meant to be "stupid" humor but, even to me, I don't find it funny. I probably would find this alot funnier drunk, but I don't sober. Sorry if it sounds like I'm being rude, but I just wanted to give feedback. The reasons I dislike it are really stupid as well. The RPer in me doesn't like Sylvanas sounds even more stupid there than how she actually sounds, Tim is a very generic name, and the text is a bit too over the top for me to get into it. I applaud that you were able to make something many people enjoy, even though I dont personally like it.

Thanks for the feedback =)

I understand your points, but at the same time, they are intentional. I wanted to make Sylvanas a less serious character. The basis of the stories got started when I was describing her failings at defending Quel'Thalas, and I made it a bit more humorous. Her second in command, who was questioning her about her actions, was named "Tim" due to how un-elflike it is.

As you can probably tell, I don't care for Sylvanas much. I was trying to put a different spin on why the way she is.

---------- Post added 2010-07-17 at 04:10 AM ----------

Why is this in the Cataclysm section?

It's actually a good question, but one I have an answer for. I intend on taking this series up into current time (the events of Cataclysm) and I thought it would be confusing if they were all in different sections. It was moved to RP for a bit, but then the original was moved back here.

---------- Post added 2010-07-17 at 04:11 AM ----------

Does she get burned at the stake at the end of the story? Please tell me she does.

Probably not. I kinda like her as a happy moron.

In actual game? Let's hope so =P

[Cathaenia]

I must admit when I first came to this thread, I expected to do a lot of facepalming. However, that was not the case as I laughed through most of it. Good work man, great read. I love what you've done with Sylvanas. Can't wait for part three.

Thar be pants pirates near. O.o

[Icarris]

This is great

[Tomaros]

so thats why sylvanas doesn't wear pants! it all makes sense now!

[Jaitee]

good job but im still waiting to see some ERP between sylvanas and her pants...when she finally gets them back
also do u have pics of sylvanas without her pants...just to help me get into the mind frame of the story and not cause im a weirdo that likes to touch his naughty zone to thoughts of sylvanas's bare nether regions....

[Cathaenia]

good job but im still waiting to see some ERP between sylvanas and her pants...when she finally gets them back
also do u have pics of sylvanas without her pants...just to help me get into the mind frame of the story and not cause im a weirdo that likes to touch his naughty zone to thoughts of sylvanas's bare nether regions....

LOL. Sig'd.

[sersouce]

Tim: Sylvanas...if we get out of here -

Sylvanas: You don't have to say it, Tim. I regret not learning the pan-flute, too.

Tim: Sure. That's what I was going to say.

Favourite part right thar xD

[Lightfist]

Thanks for all the input, guys =)

[Zicus]

The pirate pants are in my pants!