OT My résumé!

[Vitorog]

Sorry for the OT here but i dont know where else to put it, move it if you can somewhere but i would really like a couple of comments on this!

Dream job?
By D************

There is a time in every man's life when he asks himself "Is this really my life? Is this all that it is?". Many people just shake their head in disbelief and carry on with their poor excuse for getting up every morning, but some go to M******** to get their hands on a juicy well paid fiesta of a job. I'm one of the latter. Im not going to write about myself a lot, i have arms, legs and some other extremities (which are more fun than arms and legs though), a brain and some other usefull stuff, and i'm trying to use all that stuff to get myself a dream job. You know the kind, something that involves sleeping a lot, using my brain for fun, something they do in the movies and crap. Those first head-shaking people will say "HEY YOU we all want that job!". Yes of course you do. But i want it more, and there's nothing you can do about it!
So, dear future employer, read not further if your place of employement will not bring me :
a) Truckloads of cash
b) Women
c) Double rainbows
d) Double unicorns and/or other mythical animals to fart those rainbows out

If at least 3/4 of my wishes can come true in your huge evil corporation or whatever you are from, you can proceed to read my info and jump on your cell phone to call me and tell me where to meet you for a couple of beers.
Maybe some vodka shots and karaoke later.

Best regards!
************ aka Starcaller Vitorog
**************@gmail.com
http://twitter.com/Vi*******


Whatdoya say?

[placeholdername]

...

say what?

[Cerebes]

that might get you a job at a bar.

[Colphus]

If i had an evil corporation i'd hire you....not sure what for though, you would need a follow-up interview to get to know your persona.

[Flaks]

If its all in funsies then lol and you win.

If this is serious then holy shit I'd hire you on the spot.

[placeholdername]

And if that bar happens to serve glasses of liquid gold in cups made of diamonds, then you may have your truckloads of cash yet!

[Brasko]

I'm unsure of a great many things in this universe -- particularly after reading this post -- but if I'm somewhat certain of anything, it's that this was intended to be hilarious.

Hm.

e/ I wouldn't mind some of those double unicorns, though.

[Vitorog]

Marketing, HR and evil corporation PR are my areas

[placeholdername]

Marketing, HR and evil corporation PR are my areas

I would have assumed you were a professor steeped in "Thrall's Balls"

...

I'm sorry, I'm tired.

[Herecius]

That's not a resume, that's a cover letter. If you're gonna make a dumb post, at least do dumb the right way!

[Mijen]

Sir, I would like to extend an invitation to you for employment at my evil corperation.

I can promise you all 4 of your desires for the remainder of your life. You job begins at it's end. Details will be disclosed at that point.

Just Sign here __________________

Initial here _____

Date ________

Drop of blood [ ]

[Vitorog]

Hell i would sign anything that requires blood to do it, cant serbian jew double bluff your way out of that contract.

[Mijen]

Welcome. Youve made the right choice.
Here is your payme...

/slit throat

Welcome to hell. Grab me a soda.

Be careful. That's the kind of thing evil corperations do. Just look at Wal-Mart.

[Zilar]

I meant to click on the thread below this one...

[Lysah]

I can't endorse this.