1. #8161
    Field Marshal Simme's Avatar
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    Granted, you become the best musician ever until one day when you loose your hand and ability to speak in a horrible accident. You have to live your life being helped by others and people slowly forgetting you. You die unremembered and sad.

    I wish that the dodo's didn't die out.
    Last edited by Simme; 2013-11-28 at 01:08 PM. Reason: Oops, forgot my wish

  2. #8162
    Legendary! Blueobelisk's Avatar
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    I wish Simme caught the common cold.

  3. #8163
    Quote Originally Posted by Simme View Post
    I wish that the dodo's didn't die out.
    Granted. The dodos didn't die out, but the females are dead. Therefore, the male dodos are running rampant, humping anything that moves.

    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    I wish Simme caught the common cold.
    Granted. Simme caught the cold. However, I'm interpreting 'catching' the cold as in discovering the cure for it. Because of this discovery, (s)he patents the cure, becoming rich and well-known. The price for the vaccine? Too much for the common person (including yourself) to afford.

    I wish to find a romantic interest (human, female, of age) that reciprocated my feelings.

  4. #8164
    Legendary! Blueobelisk's Avatar
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    How dare you call me a common person.

    Granted, Dodo's didn't die out. They're alive. But they get eaten on Thanksgiving instead of Turkey.

    Granted, you find a romantic interest. Girl same age as you, human of course, and she's hot. Oh and she loves you too. So you're with the girl for like...2-3 years? But they're close years, you find yourself inseparable from her and she from you. It's the happiest time of your life. But one day, she gets sick with the common cold, however you find out that she has a poor immune system and even something like the common cold is too much for her to bear. She's on her deathbed, and I, the Doctor, give you a few options: (Depending on the option you take, a different ending will ensue.)

    (Warning: Read over and pick the option you want before you unveil the spoilers for each, just for fun.)

    Option A: You give her your immune system, but you die. It works and she gets cured, but you're dead and for some reason she doesn't remember you. She meets some asshole guy and lives the rest of her life with him, you being forgotten.

    Option B: You let her die. You live and she dies. You're broken up about it, even later for classes, and you end up dropping out of college. For like 5-10 years you live as a bum, but one day you meet a nice woman, she's not pretty, she's not rich, but she's got an okay personality and you pull your life together and live below average. No kids btw.

    Option C: You plan a bank heist to get the money for the common cold medicine to see if it works. You die during the robbery, but your team pulls it off and honors your share by buying her the medicine. It works partially and she recovers, but she has to live in one of those bubbles isolated from other people for the rest of her life. She remembers you and misses you, even though the world thinks you're some idiot criminal.

    -----

    I wish I was unkillable and wasn't affected by pain.

  5. #8165
    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    How dare you call me a common person.
    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    and live below average
    Someone's bitter. I know what I'd do, but I won't reveal my choice. Mwahaha.

    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    I wish I was unkillable and wasn't affected by pain.
    Granted. You're unkillable, but...you develop a multitude of health issues, most notably dementia. Because you are unkillable, you live forever, but your mind is gone, you are frail and it is difficult for you to function due to your physical health, and you're alone -- no family, friends, or loved ones exist while you remain immortal, nor can you remember them because of said dementia.

    I don't get the whole fascination with immortality. It's quality of life, not the duration or anything else.

    ...

    I wish some people didn't get special treatment. Good thing arachnophobia is more important than any other phobia.

  6. #8166
    Legendary! Blueobelisk's Avatar
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    Oh shit son. You do realize that me you and nzall MAKE this thread. You made that wish, I'm sitting around. I wonder who will corrupt it. Interesting.

  7. #8167
    Dreadlord Wayne25uk's Avatar
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    I make this thread bitches!

    Granted nobody gets special treatment now,except me!

    I wish people would get in line and know that im the king around here!

  8. #8168
    Legendary! Blueobelisk's Avatar
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    Damnit I wanted nzall to corrupt that.

    Granted, we all get in line for more soup...er...I mean to recognize you as king, but just before my turn you get banned like usual and are unable to continue being king.

    Btw Iced immortality is great. Don't you know that in this world human life is short? We live every single day and we could die at any moment by getting hit by a bus or car accident or developing a disease or anything. Immortality is a dream everyone would wish for.

    I wish Iced could see the names and lifespans of anyone he saw above their heads, but his own lifespan got cut in half.

  9. #8169
    Dreadlord Wayne25uk's Avatar
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    Granted,but everytime he looks at your health and life bar it depletes by 1% upon every look.

    I wish women had 3/3 instead of 2/3 all the time,quiz me to find out what i mean if interested!

  10. #8170
    Legendary! Blueobelisk's Avatar
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    Wtf is a 2/3 or 3/3.

  11. #8171
    Quote Originally Posted by Wayne25uk View Post
    Granted,but everytime he looks at your health and life bar it depletes by 1% upon every look.

    I wish women had 3/3 instead of 2/3 all the time,quiz me to find out what i mean if interested!
    granted. Since you're not going to be specific I'm going to view 2/3 as your balls and 3/3 as your balls and your dick. hey, if you're not going to be anything accurate about it, I'll fill in the gaps, and it's usually not pretty.

    so they got your balls and your dick, and they decide to sacrifice them to the great BlueNzall in the sky, who gain your virility, and your first dibs on any Rockstar games, and all your money, each. meanwhile, you spend many unproductive years taking it up the butt in your local penitentiary.

    I wish that my issue with my telco is fixed soon. idiots claim I got 16.88 EUR outstanding, but they don't realize that's the money that was left over on my prepaid when I switched to subscription based, and which they deducted already from it. I even got the invoice to prove it.
    Because I want to say this every single day but don't want it to get a drag:
    1) The ingame store will only sell timesaver items. It won't affect balance.
    2) No, getting to 100 in half the time isn't pay2win. raids don't start until the second week, everyone has time to get there.
    4) getting charms faster is also not pay2win. getting those is easy, but not everyone has the time or want for dailies.

  12. #8172
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    Granted but now you have a recurring monthly charge for access and services from One Direction's "Win a Date With The Band" contest. Explain that one to the rest of the men!

    I wish my house would just fix itself rather than break down (in one year the dishwasher, washing machine and dryer have all gone out in addition to me having to now rip insulation out from underneath the house).

    And in the words of Randy Quaid in ID4...."I'mmmmmm baaaaaaaacccck."


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  13. #8173
    Quote Originally Posted by Akshak View Post
    Granted but now you have a recurring monthly charge for access and services from One Direction's "Win a Date With The Band" contest. Explain that one to the rest of the men!

    I wish my house would just fix itself rather than break down (in one year the dishwasher, washing machine and dryer have all gone out in addition to me having to now rip insulation out from underneath the house).

    And in the words of Randy Quaid in ID4...."I'mmmmmm baaaaaaaacccck."
    granted. Your house fixed itself to be a huge mansion. However, because of this, you need to hire 10 people to clean it, pay a fortune in housing tax and are burglarized every 3 days because people think you got piles of cash. In addition, the house fixed itself to the state of global heritage site, which means that you cannot change anything about it even if you wanted to. and this means that every day hundreds of people come to watch your house, blocking you from getting out, so you lose your job.

    I wish I was born in an era where humanity started exploring the galaxy, and I could be part of it as a captain or commander.
    Because I want to say this every single day but don't want it to get a drag:
    1) The ingame store will only sell timesaver items. It won't affect balance.
    2) No, getting to 100 in half the time isn't pay2win. raids don't start until the second week, everyone has time to get there.
    4) getting charms faster is also not pay2win. getting those is easy, but not everyone has the time or want for dailies.

  14. #8174
    Legendary! Blueobelisk's Avatar
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    Granted, you're commander and the age you're in is the great galaxy exploration.

    However, the reason for this exploration comes from the need to find more land, as Earth is overpopulated with tens of billions of people (like ~50 billion? (no I'm not gonna fucking over exaggerate and say trillions. This is a real fake corruption, damnit.)). So you're the commander of one of the four ships exploring the galaxy for land inhabitable by humans. But some crazy exciting stuff happens. Pick the ending you like best, I'm getting fucking tired:

    1. One of the three other ship captains decides to reduce the earth's population by crashing his ship onto earth and wiping out ~15 billion people. You stop him and die.

    2. There's one of the activists on your ship who also hates the huge population, and he murders you and commandeers the ship in an effort to kill the other captains (but not the ships) to force the United Republic to reduce the Earth's population by individually murdering the people with diseases, the elderly, people with low IQ, and criminals.

    I'm too tired to think of more.

    I wish I had a had some Nyquil.

  15. #8175
    Dreadlord Wayne25uk's Avatar
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    Granted,but because i have no idea what it is i just sent you a tub of lard instead.

    I also wish to be a space commander of my own star fleet.

    (Ok here is the 2/3 + 3/3 explanation. Have you ever noticed women are never perfect they always have at least one fault,look at any woman in the world they will have two of these 3 things. 1= Ass 2= Looks/Face 3= Boobs. For example you meet a really fit woman and she is gorgeous and has a great ass but no boobs thats 2/3,or a woman with a great ass and massive boobs but she then turns round and is hideous. I have never ever met a woman with 3/3 and sometimes there is a secret 4th,they can have most of these things but turn out to be a real bitch!)

  16. #8176
    Legendary! Blueobelisk's Avatar
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    Didn't take long for you to get banned, king. HehehehehAHAHAHAHAHHA lol. God I'm such a divine profit.

    Lol at your #/3 explanation, I sort of figured it had something to do with that...

    Granted, you're a space commander of a star fleet, but you run into an alien civilization and are ordered to capture the planet. You are successful in landing and you lead a great raid and conquer their planet, but the aliens decide to blow their planet up like Frieza does in DBZ and you blow up. But you sent their provisions back to earth so they can advance. But you're dead.

    I wish nzall got a haircut.

  17. #8177
    Granted. The Illusion gives nzall a bowl cut.

    I wish I had something interesting to say.

  18. #8178
    Quote Originally Posted by icedwarrior View Post
    Granted. The Illusion gives nzall a bowl cut.

    I wish I had something interesting to say.
    Granted. You have something so profoundly interesting to say that you have no way to express it using any modern human language, because none of the Human understandable words are adequate to express how interesting it is.

    I wish my Ubisoft ticket is solved soon. Bought 4 AC4 resource time saver packs on sunday evening. still haven't arrived. are they unique per account or something? then why only give 500 of each resource when you need a bunch more?

    Also, about the telco thingy. A few months ago, another client paid her bill, but she made an error when entering her customer number, which meant that she actually entered my number. So we received the bill, just paid what we were invoiced (which was substantially less) and meanwhile she started getting messages that she hadn't paid enough. She started to argue with the telco and eventually proved through a statement that she paid her invoice. They then deducted my account with the money but neglected to tell me. so in the end, I had 16.88 outstanding payment which they didn't tell me about... remind me again how this is legal?
    Because I want to say this every single day but don't want it to get a drag:
    1) The ingame store will only sell timesaver items. It won't affect balance.
    2) No, getting to 100 in half the time isn't pay2win. raids don't start until the second week, everyone has time to get there.
    4) getting charms faster is also not pay2win. getting those is easy, but not everyone has the time or want for dailies.

  19. #8179
    The Patient
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    Granted but the customer support tech responsible for your ticket also added in a feature that transforms every character you ever create in any past, present or future Ubisoft games looks like a pink My Little Pony and randomly stops mid-firefight and exclaims, "Bitches I'm faaaaabbbuuuuulousss!"

    I wish my Christmas present for the 2nd time in 5 years wasn't a colonoscopy.


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  20. #8180
    Granted. Your present for the fourth time in five years is a pap smear. The other year? A colonoscopy.

    I wish the games that were mainstream (mainly Call of Duty) weren't mainstream, but instead, high-quality indie games (such as Hotline Miami, Thomas Was Alone, etc) were vastly more popular and influential.

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