Problems with girl gamers.

[Litoru]

I basically just wanted to know if I'm alone about this or what other girls think in a more "neutral" environment, like on this forum.
I've had quite big problems with other girl gamers in the guilds I've been in, to the extent that I'm afraid, nervous and no longer telling anyone that I'm a girl.

The last couple of times, I've been "the new girl" in the guild, which means there's already another girl who's most likely got the entire guild wrapped around her finger. She's flirty, when she makes mistakes and wipes the raid, noone cares, because she's a girl, you know. So, I understand that it's her territory and I'm not interested in battling anyone but raid bosses.
So, in this particular case, I decided that I should keep a low profile, especially since the first raid, I got a whisper from the other girl "Rumour says you're a girl???". I started of being friendly to her in whispers, because then I'd love to be friends with her, so I didn't talk to others in neither raid nor guildchat (unless I was being talked to), I didn't speak on ventrilo and I didn't spam tons of emotes. I didn't want to steal anyone's thunder.

Then, a couple of weeks later, one of our officers needs to go away for quite awhile and the guildleader asks me if I could handle the officer's job instead, which was assorting healing targets and such things -and this is where hell breaks lose. Apparently, this was extremely offending to the other girl, who was also a healer. As I was assorting the healing targets in chat, she told me to stfu and posted her healing targets. When I argued against her that the paladin was better for tank healing, she told me once again to stfu and bitched at me infront of the entire raid. It was extremely embarrassing, so I decided to just stay quiet. I was then sat as single (not even tank) target healing, as a shaman, in wotlk. Her experience with the other healing classes than her own was horrible. The guildleader tried to settle it after the raid, but just managed to calm it down until the next raid. I then said that the guild leader should just leave the officer work up to her, and that I didn't want to do it anymore.

As shit kept on going, she turned the guild, except the guild leader, against me, me and my boyfriend decided to leave. He made a post of the forum, saying that we were leaving, thanks and so on, and at that time, the girl posts in that thread, that she'll miss my boyfriend, and then addresses me, with a link to youtube where she personally had dedicated a song to me how she wished that I would die. She was demoted, since the guild leader thought she went way too far, but some of the other guild members defended her.

This is one of several stories where girls have... I don't know, been amazingly freaky? that I've been through. I don't know if it's me who's just doing everything wrong or what it is :/

So what I was wondering about is how do you, as a girl gamer, react when either you join a new guild where you're "the new girl" or if you're in the other position, where you're the girl who's already in the guild, but have to accept that there's a new girl joining? Do you get along, do you get nervous, are you outgoing and drawing attention or do you keep a low profile? Do you talk to her instantly? Have you had problems with other girl gamers?

Do you think that I did something wrong or is there anything I could do better to succeed in the future? Personally I'd love to have girl gamers as friends, but during 5 years of playing, there's only one girl that I haven't had any problems with. IRL there's no problem though, just ingame ._.

[Frai]

Women are insane, boys are stupid, remember these two life lessons.

[Pozz]

These types exists, and they can indeed freeze people out if they (and their unquestioning crowd of "z0mg she haz boobs" people) don't live up to their expectations, which if you're a boy means don't join their fanclub.

It's a mixed result of some people needing attention, and some guys being way too easy to impress.

I don't think you did anything wrong if this story is 100% accurate. Some people just feel very territorial even regarding stupid things like a computer game >_>

[Deleted]

from what i have noticed while playing wow, the girls on there seem to over react to alot of things, just small things like yours and then they flip

not all obviously, just most I've come across in guilds.

[Malagan]

I'm not female, although I was officer in a guild for quite a while.
Long ago, years even, a girl established her position in the guild and act just as you've described.
Personally, I find her egoistic selfish way disgusting so I just treat the person as one should treat a superior
(as she is now the guild leader)

However, it seems every time a new girl joins, there is trouble.
Guild now having a significant amount of girls, it seems every day is a power struggle where they are trying
to determine who is where in a hierarchy of their social positions in guild.

You know what that does to a guild? Tears it apart. People barely dare meddle in it anymore.

I admire your decision to keep it to yourself.
´Whether one wants it or not, admitting gender does change the balance of power a little bit in your favor.

[Amunetia]

I'm pretty much the established female in my guild being the gm's girlfriend, but I would never take offense to another female in the guild, my guild has a decent female to male ratio and I love it. A running joke in the guild is we have so many females in the guild because we run things and keep the guys in check. I'm not flirty or anything outside of /hugging guildies. I've been in guilds in the past with ultra flirty females who i avoided because they made me sick. I have too much respect for my relationship to flirt with guys in a game. Anyway back to the topic, people like that female are just wackos and you don't need to be around them. If shes going to get offended because the guild master asked you to do healing assignments in light of her obvious lack of knowledge of other healing classes then she needs to step back and realize shes playing a game not trying to be homecoming queen. She doesn't have to be the center of attention, I prefer to share the female spotlight in my guild that way we all have more fun.

[Deleted]

right... that's just creepy ( not only the other girl ). It's damn game, who gives a shit what a crazy witch living in another part of the continent tells you? It's a damn game, if she tells you to stfu, then just 1. talk to some of the other higher ranked members 2. Tell her to keep her mouth shut as the gm asked you to assign these targets and also to get rid off her i would actually report her to blizzard for victimization. It's a virtual world for god sake, even tho you're in a guild with some serious ppl be honest, every1 tries to be cool on the net, and just learn that you have to fuck them and do your job.

[Deleted]

I have 5 girls in my guild. They are all 24+ years of age. I have never had any issues with officers being "wrapped" or not being able to "yell" at them for mistakes. I've had one female member though who was really flirty when she joined (chatting privately with many officers, posting pictures of her on the forum, etc). Her stay in the guild didn't last long, as she wasn't liked by anyone because of it.

I think that a lot of these issues boils down to the maturity of the guild and it's "leaders". I'd say, if a guild isn't what you want it to be - leave.

[Tuvok]

Worthless, insecure, manipulative bitch. It's a shame that their male subjects are usually just as insecure, otherwise they would be powerless. For as long as desparation exists in a large amount og young WoW playing males, these types of attention-whoring wretches will always be empowered. I can't see how there's much you can do about it when they set their minions against you. Your best bet is to make sure the next guild you join doesn't contain such a vast amount of fools, or a guild diva.

Clearly, if what you say is true and relatively unbiased, you did nothing wrong at all, and to be honest you shouldn't cater for people like that - I'd consider it worth the gkick if it meant not getting pushed around by a contemptible idiot like that. I didn't play this game to be some dumb bitch's subject or the victim of her will, neither should you.

Just like others here, I too had the best guild I ever joined ruined and burned to the ground thanks to a girl who couldn't keep her virtual pants on.

[Deleted]

Turf war between a newcomer and a self-proclaimed 'queen', classic. Because it's claimed (I say claimed, not proved) that this is a male dominant territory, they feel special and get over-inflated egos, mainly made of breasts... And I'd personally say, fuck them. If the guild is willing to put up with that, then they're in the same direction. Probably a bit harsh to say, but most of the time, those persons like the one you described is a control-freak, and they're not worth the time and frustration, and more often then not, they won't see the sense.

They just love the control they have, and they'd be damned to hell and back again if someone were to 'overtake' regardless of skill or status/reputation.

You did nothing wrong as far as I can tell, and the GM did the right thing as well, but not enough of it, as the entire guild it seems, turned on you because she was a bitch.

That said, there are a lot of guilds that have no problem with women, and those account for the other women in the guilds as well. I've been in a large guild before Cata, and there were several female players, nothing wrong there.

It can be extremely black and white with female players though, to my own experience, and it's the only thing I can judge from.
But don't give up just yet, I'm sure you can find a good guild with no assholes (there will always be a few, but none of this caliber), and then keep on raiding.

[Fuzzzie]

Keep the posting clean. This is the warning.

[deevicoos]

Girls are insane, boys are stupid, remember these two life lessons.

Some girls grow up enough to not constantly want to be the alpha female and abuse everyone's stupidity. Some boys grow up enough to just not give a damn about that. I play with women and men. Though don't cop that crap. We only have a few women but they don't make drama, or struggle for pecking order, they all have their own niche, style and identity in the guild that transcends gender. For example one of them is infact known for her smelly poohs.

I've never dealt with girl drama, though I've met one or two girls who I could tell would pull that shit given a fraction of a chance. They never ended up in my guild for a reason. Protip: Join a guild where the management is strong enough to not let that sort of thing happen and not pick people who are susceptable to that.

[Kokiron]

Where do you people keep finding these god awful girls at? I'm a girl and there's several other girls in my guild and there's none of that power struggle omg guild princess bullshit that goes on. These girls you guys keep talking about in posts like this make me all second hand embarrassed for my gender.

[Solfire]

Wow..Just wow, that's something out of Mean Girls if anything I've ever heard. o.O As a female gamer myself, when new girls joined my previous guild I was ECSTATIC. I'd heard them into a channel for all the girls in the guild, then proceed to teach them how it was our job to plot doom and control the evil men folk. THE MEN LAUGHED AT US, BUT WE WERE VICTORIOUS! It was a nonstop slumber party of happiness, and the men feared us. *happy sigh* On another note, I've never had an experience where one girl turned on another quite like that, and it makes me think she was 15 or something too young and self-centered to have any common sense. It's a game and a line needs to be drawn at doing anything that will hurt or offend another person over the internet. Don't let her affect you when interacting with other female players, I've met a ton of girls and really feel she was an oddity. o.O

[Heltoray]

I'm actually tired of these threads dunno. There are lots of women behaving like this or who just want to be in the middle of attention (in fact that was the majority I came across). Although I have seen some who behaved normally.

[teh_anarchist]

Im a guy but just thought Id comment anyway. The guild Im in has several leading ladies, all of which are really nice, know what they are doing, and they all are friendly with the entire guild. They dont take shit and give as much as they get when people become out of line as youd expect from officers and class leaders etc. I think in your case youve just been unlucky with the people you play with (the person youre referring too obviously not being nice). Just finding the right guild where you can feel comfortable and not have to worry about being hassled over gender is important to how much fun youre having during play. If youre not having fun, and talking to a higher ranking member about your issues hasnt helped, find a new guild might be an idea. Hope things work out for you.

[warhead0]

One thing that I have found to be quite annoying is seeing girls who have the entire community "under the thumb" (whipped)

[Tuvok]

Where do you people keep finding these god awful girls at? I'm a girl and there's several other girls in my guild and there's none of that power struggle omg guild princess bullshit that goes on. These girls you guys keep talking about in posts like this make me all second hand embarrassed for my gender.

At least the embarassing people of your gender are in positions of leadership, mine are the low-down minions of these so-called "guild princesses".

[Storno]

I've been in guilds with a lot of girls,...my first progress-raiding guild had several girls in it and instead of bitchfights, they had a lot of fun together,...
new girls never were a problem at all,...my last guild also had loads of girls in it - no problems at all!
So I think it's mostly bad luck for you :/

[Finalwish]

That girl your describing just sounds like a giant bitch, not ever have a seen another girl act like that in-game (though I am a man). Have around 4 girls in my guild at any given time and they are treated like one of the guys and are never bitchy at all.

I agree the men do take girls on a lighter tone but thats why those guys are raiders and any smart officer/leader will tell them off for messing up (as do i), it can be hard to find a guild that isnt drooling over 1 lady but if you find a mature older guild (old as in made 2-3 years ago) then it should be a little better.

Either way, that guild wont get far with a loony like that in the guild and she wouldnt last a raid in my guild.