How to Prevent Cyber-Bulling and get help

[Crackleslap]

I never really thought about it that much, infact i didn't really care. But just as of now i got a messege on Xbox Live from some one on my friends list and it says (voice recorded) "This person ********* has been Cyber-bulling me for the past 6 months and i just cant take it any more (he starts to seriously cry) so i'm taking my own life tonight.

I seriously reacted to the message with n near seconds, trying to stop him from committing suicide and just get help. I've almost committed suicide but i found help at the last moment and my problems where sorted with in a few months.

So, how should cyber-Bulling be prevented and how can we stop it, Since this message, its given me a whole new idea on how bad Cyber-Bulling is.

EDIT: The person who is being Cyber-Bullied knows the persons name (I know the person too, we went to the same Primary School). Like i said hes a friend on my Xbox Live list. I went through his profile to his friends and i found some of his IRL friends, i messaged them and they said hes been going through severe depression, caused by the bully. They're unaware of where he actually is at the moment. They've been to his house, his parents don't know where he is, not even his Girlfriend. The family and friends have sent out a search party. With help from the police.

[Badpaladin]

How do you stop it? Tell said person to get over it and stop opening themselves up to that kind of crap. If they're emotionally unstable enough to the point of fucking committing suicide, they shouldn't be on the internet in the first place.

Cyber-Bullying is only as bad as the victim allows it to be.

[Zyzzyx]

How do you stop it? Tell said person to get over it and stop opening themselves up to that kind of crap. If they're emotionally unstable enough to the point of fucking committing suicide, they shouldn't be on the internet in the first place.

Cyber-Bullying is only as bad as the victim allows it to be.

I'm actually a bit surprised at this, based on what I've seen you post in the past. While I agree to an extent, and really do wish kids had more self confidence, just getting over it isn't always the answer.

The biggest problem I see with kids who open themselves up to this stuff is that they have horrible relationships with their parents. The parents are often ignorant of their kid's activities, and the kids who are being bullied won't go to them for help. The worst way to deal with bullying is to keep it inside. Unfortunately, help isn't always easy when the kids can't talk to their parents, or have low self-esteem.

He needs a way to increase that esteem, in any way possible. People with high self esteem don't give a crap what anyone says over the internet.

[terenasmenethil2]

How do you stop it? Tell said person to get over it and stop opening themselves up to that kind of crap. If they're emotionally unstable enough to the point of fucking committing suicide, they shouldn't be on the internet in the first place.

Cyber-Bullying is only as bad as the victim allows it to be.

I agree 100% completely with this post.

[Lobstarrr]

You need to grow a pair if you allow yourself to get butthurt over what people say to you over the internet. Anyone that disagrees should grow a pair too. Cwidt?

[Dubbyjenkins]

Soooo they were a victim to Trolling?
That happens all the time on the internet and you know what the best thing to do is?
Ignore that person and anything they say you should only delete it and move on, the worst thing you could do is to send something else back and "Feed the troll" tell him to ignore the person and just move on BUT to talk about the thought of killing themselves and how they shouldnt do it over a troll continuing to troll them.

[Zyzzyx]

Soooo they were a victim to Trolling?
That happens all the time on the internet and you know what the best thing to do is?
Ignore that person and anything they say you should only delete it and move on, the worst thing you could do is to send something else back and "Feed the troll" tell him to ignore the person and just move on BUT to talk about the thought of killing themselves and how they shouldnt do it over a troll continuing to troll them.

Problem is that for people who have confidence it's really easy to just ignore their ass. Some people are pretty sensitive, and need help to improve that. If it was an on/off switch that everyone was equipped with, everyone would be mountains of awesome and nobody would get hurt by anything.

It isn't always just about ignoring trolls, some people see it as a personal attack on them, and it gets to their head.

That being said, I eat trolls for breakfast.

[Badpaladin]

I'm actually a bit surprised at this, based on what I've seen you post in the past. While I agree to an extent, and really do wish kids had more self confidence, just getting over it isn't always the answer.

It's certianly the easiest. People always complicate the hell out of stuff that doesn't need to be. I know, it sound soversimplified, but it really is. Getting over something is really just as simple as ignoring whatever it was that attacked you and finding something else to do for a while. In a week it'll seem silly that you allowed yourself to be affected over something like that.

The biggest problem I see with kids who open themselves up to this stuff is that
they have horrible relationships with their parents. The parents are often
ignorant of their kid's activities, and the kids who are being bullied won't go
to them for help. The worst way to deal with bullying is to keep it inside.
Unfortunately, help isn't always easy when the kids can't talk to their parents,
or have low self-esteem.

I always recommend a punching bag, which I still have. Be it stress, personal problems, whatever, it's something you can physically take out anger and aggression on. Unfortunately there are cases of shitty parenting, and that's truly tragic. In cases such as that I'd make an effort to find some real friends that live nearby. The type of people that say, "sure!" when you ask if you can stay over a day or two are the kind to keep, and easily the same people to go do something with if you're feeling bullied, down, or whatever. People don't seem to realize that you don't even really need to talk about stuff to get over it this way, just the simple act of doing something fun with somebody else contributes massively to "getting over it".

He needs a way to increase that esteem, in any way possible. People with high self esteem don't give a crap what anyone says over the internet.

Of course they don't, because they realize they're better than that. I'll gladly tell people all day long that I am far better than somebody who bullies. I think too highly of myself to allow a low-life to try to bring me down. Honestly, that's the attitude people need to start adopting. You're better than the scum who try and insult you over a medium that allows them to avoid getting punched in the face.

It sounds ridiculous, but if you don't feel that way about yourself already you'd best get to being stubborn. People are perfectly capable of "stubborning" themselves into a mindset if they keep at it.

[taco avenger]

troll or no troll, internet is the last place sensitive people should come. like a wounded animal limping into a pit of tigers for help.

[Joi]

One thing to keep in mind with bullying (or anything else in life for that matter) is you are not that person. Your reactions may not be theirs. What is easy for you could be hard for them. What may not hurt you could be devastating for them. Shrugging it off could work for you, but not for them.

To the orig. poster:
If they only know them online there are things your friend can do to keep that person from contacting them, and they should use those options. Block them on their email account, facebook, etc. Change these accounts if necessary.
Any old copies of the bullying can be saved and used for protection orders and criminal cases. Harassment is a crime.

As for the depression and suicidal thoughts: recommend he get help from a counsellor, suicide hotlines (if you know his country and/or state/province google for a hotline and give him the number) and encourage him to talk to any family or friends in the real world he would be comfortable going to for help.
You could also suggest that when he catches himself having a negative thought he should physically and mentally counter act it. Sit up straighter, head high, shoulders back, shrug, stretch, or even get up and move about (this eases the physical tension from the negative thoughts). Mentally think something like "No, stop, I don't have to think this way." and find something else to focus on like a hobby, funny TV show, a good book, etc... Interrupting the negative thoughts stops the pattern and the obsessive replaying of the problem in ones mind.

Also, if you think he's at immediate risk, contact xbox live, give them his ID, and they can probably get local 911 response to go make sure he's ok.

[nixcookies]

You're all acting like he was being trolled? How do you not know it wasn't something more serious? This kid could've had an internet stalker and had absolutely no idea how to get rid of him... also.. we don't know his age.. It can be difficult for a child to "grow a pair" if they're totally confused and helpless..

I agree with this.

We do not know the context in which this person was being bullied so I think it's wrong for people here to judge the guy as we know very little.

OP I really do hope you're friend is ok and in good health, like some people have said I would recommend he doesn't use xbox live for a little while and focuses on getting over this event. Sadly I know what it's like to have a friend die through bullying so consider yourself lucky you got to him in time.

Cyber-Bullying is only as bad as the victim allows it to be.

I somewhat agree to this, although a person has some control of how much it affects their lives I think harassment can have different degree's of seriousness and can get the better of all of us. One way of getting is to talk to someone about it , I know a lot of people don't like doing this but it could help with your problems. Also they could try and relieve their stress and anxieties through exericse or a hobby outside of the internet. If the online harassment is serious enough in some parts of the world it's considered illegal, so they also might want to check their legal options.

Anyway, good luck, I hope your friend is able to overcome this.

[Lightfist]

As it's been said...if you're even considering killing yourself over something like that, you shouldn't be on the internet. Hell, you might not even want to interact with other people.

I guess "sticks and stones" isn't taught to some people.

[Deleted]

Grow thick skin.
Honestly, people are so depressive these days. Oh and the "I'm going to kill myself" thing is bollocks, people who actually do it don't tell people before hand, they rarely leave notes and are extremely good at it.

[cFortyfive]

Not sure if serious to be honest. Or let's say maybe I am too old to grasp what "cyber bullying" is even supposed to be.

[Doifer]

The ignorance in this thread is disturbing. We know nothing about the kid yet you're assuming that he is mentally mature enough to move on or 'take it like a man'. I feel sorry for your kids or future kids(Though, who am I kidding? Most of you won't have any.). They come to you with an emotional problem and you tell them to 'grow a pair'. None of you know nearly enough about the human psyche to give any advice on a topic like this. It's a serious thing to be chronically depressed and this person needs more than to 'man up' as some of you so eloquently stated. Apathy is a horrible thing and this thread runs rampant with it.

@Badpaladin
Its been proven that people that use violence toward inanimate objects as a stress relief are prone to develop not only anger issues but abusive tendencies.

OT:
Yes, he should get away from the cause of his current emotional distress but anyone that is able to be bullied into a suicidal state has a clear underlying problem that should be addressed immediately. Not only should you tell your friend to see a therapist immediately, you should make sure his family and close friends are there for support.

[Deleted]

/ignore them if you don't know them irl and they will hopefully disappear from you're life forever.
If you do know them irl ask a parent / guidance teacher of some form. I know this is what everyone says, but seriously it is the best way to counter bullying.

[Kruul]

I dont understand it with kids today.. im still young as hell (19) yet teens as old as 16-17 seem to all have suicide cyber bully sob stories I really dont understand it. Back when i was in highschool i was a pretty fat kid and got bullied (not physically cause i was easily stronger) but not once did i ever think hay maybe KILLING MYSELF is easier then just ignoring them or losing the weight (which i eventually did). And that was real life.. online u can just not talk to them or block them or a myriad of other ways to cut off communication. I CANNOT feel bad for someone who is weak enough to allow themselves to be bullied online. just cant.

[Badpaladin]

@Badpaladin
Its been proven that people that use violence toward inanimate objects as a stress relief are prone to develop not only anger issues but abusive tendencies.

Just like it's been proven that video games lead to violence and smoking pot leads to meth addiction, right? Stress relief is healthy. Personally, I'd suggest climbing a mountain more than anything else, but sadly it seems barely anybody here is interested in a such a thing, hence the punching bag is suggested.

You are correct about the suicideal tendancy being an issue, though. But then again, how can you know it's sincere? People do shit like that for attention all the time, not because they're seriously mentally disturbed.

[cFortyfive]

I feel sorry for your kids or future kids(Though, who am I kidding? Most of you won't have any.)

People already stated here that professional help is probably advised. And seriously it's just hilarious how you try to take the moral high ground there.

[Deleted]

People already stated here that professional help is probably advised. And seriously it's just hilarious how you try to take the moral high ground there.

High ground? She's(I assume a she, sue me) left the freaking atmosphere.