Anger rising

[Elexo]

I've been a pretty passive guy most of my life.

Went through my teenage years without breaking anything.

Only now that I am nearly 21 I get angry more and more easily and have such an urge to express it.

Example 1: Listening to the radio, things are going pretty swell, commercial starts which is always a bit annoying, a certain specificly annoying commercial starts and I feel anger as if someone just spat in my face and insulted me.
My hands shake and I turn the sound off as fast as possible.

Example 2: New coffee table, have to build it myself, instructions are vague as hell, have to move it around, due to vague instructions I made an error which when I try to move it cracks the wood of the table causing permanent damage to it.
Swear like a sailor and try to fix the damage by whacking it with a hammer.

I have no clue where this newfound frustration is coming from, never been easy to anger but the older I get the angrier I become.

Is this normal? Do others feel the same way?

[devonwc1985]

You really get as angry at a commercial as if someone spat in your face and insulted you? That's not what I'd call normal you might want to... get some help.

[Flubby]

Must be a real late bloomer.

[Rampant Rabbit]

Sexual frustration? Did you lose someone close to you? Have you been bullied when you were younger?

The anger can come (not necessarily) at a later age.

Also, you should (if you don't already) go do sports. It's a great way to get rid of the tension in your body and mind.

[Weekender]

Don't know if you got a way to vent it except rage. For me if I can go jogging atleast twice a week I can vent my rage into that.
Try that or get drunk with friends to vent your rage, works for me

[Elexo]

Sounds tend to trigger it mostly.

30 seconds of a repatative annoying noise twice per hour that persists for weeks on end just makes me twitch.

Another example: Trying to go to bed and outside there's 2 dudes who are just having a good time, they're not -super- loud and most likely don't even realise that they're disturbing people.
But as I lie in my bed and I hear their annoying sounding laughs I can't lie still, I have to get up and vent my frustration somehow.

Middle of the day someone in the building has their sound on a tad too loud and I can hear them play Mario or something, I have to blast it out with my own music and it makes me feel so frustrated for some reason.

I just don't know where these feelings are coming from, it's like I've been exposed by the same radiation as the Hulk, only without the cool super powers.

[Deleted]

That sounds rather disturbing. You should seek help. Also as a temporary solution while waiting for appointment time could you e.g. try to buy yourself boxing gloves and the sack and whack at it every now and then? I have a few friends who find it terribly relieving and after whacking at it for a while they feel much more relaxed the whole rest of the day.

[Deleted]

I know how you feel. What I do to vent that anger, is confront the cause of it enraged. More often than not, people back the fuck down before I explode on em. Slow retard drivers are the worst instigator for me. In fact, just thinking about it making my face go red.

[ibnalail]

On any medications? Serious question. Some commonly prescribed medications can have some insane side effects. It took me over a year to figure out that it was my birth control pill that was turning me into a suicidal wreck.

[Maharishi]

When I get like that, I'm usually actually angry about something else and meaningful, which I refuse to acknowledge/deal with.

When I was a kid, I remember hearing a story about a guy killing his wife because she baked a blueberry pie, but then gave it to a neighbor. Lets be honest, it wasn't about the pie.

[Elexo]

Haven't been bullied when growing up, perhaps my father sometimes had a slightly cruel sense of humour but nothing really out of the ordinary.
Didn't lose anyone.

I thought it was sexual frustration a while ago when my girlfriend moved in with me (1.5 years ago) but I decided to (rather often) rub one out between the times we have sex so I've got that covered myself even when she doesn't (don't misunderstand, we frequently have sex but my needs are more active than hers)

As to venting, I have a physicly active job where I can rid of the negative energies but it doesn't seem to last very long at all, if it even helps that is.

It's mostly just short bursts of rage, like mini outlets and I'll feel totaly fine after, it's more my girlfriend who get's into a bad mood about it.
Like with the coffee table, I must express my hatred for the people who created it and for the table itself and she's nearby so she hears it and it ruins her mood for hours sometimes.

Which in turn sometimes annoys me, cause it might be weekend and I want to do something fun with her but she'll act moody and only snap at me which makes me snap at her which is then followed by a long silence.

[solari]

are you getting laid bro? girlfriend, friends etc?

[Elexo]

Also on no meds at all, last time were some painkillers a year ago because I got my wisdom teeth pulled.

I don't drink much either, only at special ocassions.

[devonwc1985]

I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like maybe you have mild insomnia? If people are keeping you awake or you're just not sleeping... this can be VERY bad for mood swings and agression. Your earlier post said people keeping you up hearing things through the walls etc... idk just a thought maybe it stems from there. Peace and quiet try that if you can get any. Maybe consider moving, go hang out at the Library or maybe see a doctor about getting some sleeping pills if you really need them.

---------- Post added 2011-08-31 at 04:17 AM ----------

could be a lot of things in retrospect, like too much caffeine idk if you drink a lot of that or maybe just not eating properly idk.

---------- Post added 2011-08-31 at 04:19 AM ----------

also keep in mind everybody gets angry SOMEtimes it's normal. The table thing sounds like a legit reason to be pissed off imo.

[muto]

I used to have anger problems, and these are some techniques that worked for me.

-Take a walk or ride a bike or something when you feel yourself getting angry, it helps you to cool down.
-Punch a pillow to release some of that anger, that way you don't end up instead punching the wall, and damaging it, and or hurting your hand and wrist.
-Talk to someone close to you about your anger, it helps to release it rather then letting it build up inside.
-Tell yourself your not going to get angry, and keep telling yourself that.
-If you have a conscious think of the pain that would put on someone if you ended up hurting them mentally or physically because of your anger.
-If you get frustrated while trying to do something just set it aside and come back to it later, frustration is a leading cause of anger.
-Seek professional help if these options didn't help resolve your anger.

[Deleted]

it's more my girlfriend who get's into a bad mood about it.
Like with the coffee table, I must express my hatred for the people who created it and for the table itself and she's nearby so she hears it and it ruins her mood for hours sometimes.

Which in turn sometimes annoys me, cause it might be weekend and I want to do something fun with her but she'll act moody and only snap at me which makes me snap at her which is then followed by a long silence.

I can totally relate with her to be honest. It's not something we women do on purpose, it just really ruins all the good humor we have to see our partner raging, and it does make us feel really uncomfortable. It's not as easy to overcome as you might think, and it definitely isn't fun for us either.

[Deleted]

It's called testosterone.

This is what makes us men, love it or hate it, this is what we are.

Testosterone might make a man, but it's good manners that separate the respectable men from the stupid men.

[KassieDS]

You really get as angry at a commercial as if someone spat in your face and insulted you? That's not what I'd call normal you might want to... get some help.

Depends if it was the GoCompare advert...

[Chirri]

It's called testosterone.

This is what makes us men, love it or hate it, this is what we are.

Wow, extreme oversimplification. Guys that express short, compressed bursts of rage aren't quite the same as guys that express short, compressed frustration [EDIT - or even properly directed anger; a repetitive sound on the radio inducing the shakes, just to control the rage? something else is going on]. There's a difference, and it seems like OP is concerned that his is the former.

I agree with others - something more physically taxing. I understand that work is physically demanding, but I think it's a different mindset. Even if you're not interested in "working out," perhaps just taking up a sport as a hobby might help.

With that offered, and while I'm of course NOT any sort of professional, for some reason the description and later clarifications make me think you're worrying or frustrated by something and either don't know how to "fix" the situation, or are avoiding the problem altogether. I dunno. I suppose it's the idea of rage, directed at innocuous targets. Something at work, something unexpected with the girlfriend, some change in the family or neighborhood, perhaps.

[themew2]

I had this exact issue. I was 25 when I would just get mad for no reason at all. I also start drinking (fluids, not alcohol) a lot then in turn, going to the bathroom a lot. I finally went to the doctor and was told I was a diabetic. If your sugar level is out of whack, it can affect a lot of different things. Temper being one of them.