My Little Pony - Friendship is Magic (part 2)

[Deleted]

Hai Ponies.

[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/dGajN.gif[IMG]

Miiiixxxyyyy!!! <3

[Mixxy]

Hello you.

Hello, sweetie!

Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiixy, good morning gorgeous
Hope Ypu slept well

Howdy Das. More like afternoon. It's 5pm. :P

Been out all day, yeah.

I did sleep well though. :3

Miiiixxxyyyy!!! <3
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/Xxjf5.png[IMG]

Happily!

* Hugs the hell out of Anna

[raveger]

Hey everypony guess what!
I'm go-----zzzzzssshhhhhhhhh

* due to powers beyond my control zzZZZZzzZZZZZZZ per zzzZZzZZzz

[Mixxy]

Reply from EqD Pre-readers about Soaring through Fire, for anypony interested in the story's progress:

Reading through it... it's totally competent, funny, and light hearted. As I expected.

One issue: there's a lot of ----- scene changes for a one-shot; what should have been a single paragraph of description for a race turned into a scene change, which is a slight cop out... though this is more of a criticism of a good piece of art, and not the musings of an amateur.

Okay, what, the actual date was a scene skip too? I'm sorry but I have to take back my previous sentence; there is just too much telling, not enough showing. Come on, it can't be that hard to describe eating with somepony you're interested in, can it?

I expected silly, awkward conversation that the reader wouldn't necessarily understand because it's the kind of stuff they would talk about. And I find a scene change in it's place! I was going to rate this a 4/5, but I may have to go down to 3/5 at this rate.

Okay, nice rise to the mountain but- Okay WHAT!? I'm sorry, that isn't how love works. Two ponies "liking" each other for what is probably a few years but never talking on more than a platonic leve have a first date and suddenly there's a love proclamation? I'm sorry, that's really jarring.

It's almost ready, but I don't really want it to be posted. There are two entire scenes that were skipped over that had literally no reason to be skipped (The race, and the ACTUAL DATE), and then that ending is so jarring that I simply don't believe it. Some show of appreciation, growing affection, and a small change form platonic to romantic interaction is what is needed, not HOLY COW WE'RE IN LOVE NOW. That isn't how love works.

I say, after you get this response, work on everything in the above paragraph. If you fix those two scene changes and make the ending a little less... you know, "exact," then it will be a gold star from me and postable.

So, still got some work to do on it before it's good to go.

*Mind ticks*

[Deleted]

Hello, sweetie!

Howdy Das. More like afternoon. It's 5pm. :P

Been out all day, yeah.

I did sleep well though. :3

Happily!

* Hugs the hell out of Anna

[Remilia]

So at school parking garage, I saw this.

[Fallen Angel]

Hey everypony guess what!
I'm go-----zzzzzssshhhhhhhhh

* due to powers beyond my control zzZZZZzzZZZZZZZ per zzzZZzZZzz

G'night rav =)

[DasHuntard]

Had a feeling you were out, when I didn't see you around near 11 pm my time

[Mixxy]

http://i.imgur.com/O3mmg.jpg

Not really.

Just... adequate.

[Mixxy]

Hey everypony guess what!
I'm go-----zzzzzssshhhhhhhhh

* due to powers beyond my control zzZZZZzzZZZZZZZ per zzzZZzZZzz

G'nighty Rave!

Sleep tight.

So at school parking garage, I saw this.
<snips>

Too awesome.

Had a feeling you were out, when I didn't see you around near 11 pm my time

[Dontrike]

Seems like I spent all day away from the thread and right after we got a new start too. How have you folks been for the last few hours as I was playing LoL continuously.

[Deleted]

Reply from EqD Pre-readers about Soaring through Fire, for anypony interested in the story's progress:

So, still got some work to do on it before it's good to go.

*Mind ticks*

Hmm, at least it's what I would call good feedback, instead of just a Eq;D guy who says "It's not good enough, do something to make it good!"

[DasHuntard]

@remi that's cool love seeing those

[Mixxy]

Hmm, at least it's what I would call good feedback, instead of just a Eq;D guy who says "It's not good enough, do something to make it good!"

Agreed. I like this pre-reader.

I shall fix these three thingies and try again!

[Remilia]

@remi that's cool love seeing those

Too awesome.

Was going to my car and was like... 'the fuck'. Then I was like... PICS! Amusingly there's also the police parking right next to it. And... was a police car with its engines running and someone in there. I was like... okay...

---------- Post added 2011-09-29 at 12:16 AM ----------

Sec, need to edit out the plate.

[DasHuntard]

Was going to my car and was like... 'the fuck'. Then I was like... PICS! Amusingly there's also the police parking right next to it. And... was a police car with its engines running and someone in there. I was like... okay...

---------- Post added 2011-09-29 at 12:16 AM ----------

Sec, need to edit out the plate.

too loud, thats my only guess

[Deleted]

Agreed. I like this pre-reader.

I shall fix these three thingies and try again!

That's the spirit! And you shall do that while pm'ing me, because I am soooo boooorreeeeed

[Remilia]

too loud, thats my only guess

/shrug not sure why it was there tbh, it's in a parking garage...

[DasHuntard]

Agreed. I like this pre-reader.

I shall fix these three thingies and try again!

sounds like an awesome plan big fella

[pickley]

Kaori finding images to poke me apparently.

http://i.imgur.com/dE2bZ.jpg