You go to the store to preorder the game a week before release, the store person leans over and asks if you want one early. Of course, you can't deny the opportunity and you desperately say yes. He leads you to a back room where you see a stack of boxes each packed full of diablo 3. Then just as your heart pumps full of excitement, an arm reaches around your face and holds a cloth to your mouth. The next moment you wake up you're strapped to a bench in a rocky dungeon. But something is wrong, there's guts hanging off hooks on the roof and you're surrounded by bowls with organs in them. Then as you follow the tubes you notice they're from you're own body and still connected and pumping. The store person appears from the darkness in front and proceeds to place your organs back into your body and finally he puts diablo 3 in you and stitches you back up. Then you wake up in africa in a tribe and you were just one of the witch doctors and had the experience of another humans tortured soul. You were never that tortured teenager who longed for diablo 3. You always lived in some sand country in maximum poverty. And you have aids
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