Is there a legal way to remove a parent from a household?

[oplawlz]

If you can muster enough witnesses you could have her committed >.> http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Someone-C...ental-Hospital

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

So I don't normally like to mix my life with my lighthearted videogame forum friends. But I'm left with no other choice... this is gonna be a long one guys...

Background, I'm 19 and going into second year of college, for years I've lived in a household ruled through fear. My mother is a pathological liar incapable of empathy she must be in complete control of EVERYTHING. If a drop of water is found on the kitchen counter, I'll be ridiculed and called a faggot by my own mother (I'm not even gay, thats just an example of the kind of person she is), she is a person of pure hate, my grandmother says she's always been this way.

I've been sent to psychiatrists thanks to my mother who thinks I'm fucked up in the head. Yet all of them have said I seemed perfectly normal and that my she was the source of the problem. They asked to see her and she refused, my father, realizing the futility of sending me to a psych seeing that I'm not the one with issues stopped sending me.

He's trapped in all of this, no father wants to see their family fall apart. But he's passive and doesn't want to do anything to break up a marriage (that clearly isn't working).

I've had to step up and take care of my grandma who's losing her house (another long story, irrelevant)

Why? Because her own daughter (my mom) refuses to help. She holds a grudge against my grandmother for various reasons. My grandma broke into tears today thinking her own daughter hates her. No one at 90 years of age should have to be aggravated, by a child besides.

The last straw came when to really fuck with me, my mother told me my dad was sick, in the dying sense. I burst into tears and called him. He told me there was nothing wrong.

To make a long story short (as if I haven't been ranting already... thanks for listening), I see no other option but to search for a legal method of removing my mother from the house yet still keep my dad and sister. I love them more than anything, but it's not healthy for ANYONE in my house to have to deal with what my mother puts us through.

TLDR: I need to find a way to remove my mother from the household, yet still have my dad and sister who I love. To those who are in the real world... any thoughts on what to do in such a situation? I'm also open to any questions ya have... it's PRETTY fucked up.

Leave 6 drops of water on the counter, then call her a cow and tell her to shut her fucking face, in those words.

One way of the other it'll sort itself out.

[Sills]

I understand how you feel and it is one of the most painful things to experience in relation to family. You love your father and sister and dont want them (or yourself) to suffer at the hands of someone who is this terrible. I went through a similar thing myself. I dont know much about legal ways, but hopefully my story can give you an idea of how to move forward:

A couple years after my mom passed away, my dad got together with another woman. I was going through uni at the time and living at home to help save money. This woman was mentally and verbally abusive towards my dad and myself and physically abusive towards my dad at times. I never actually witnessed any of the physical side, I heard about it through others I trust. My dad is, like yours, more on the passive side and did not want to act. Furthermore, he needed the income she provided to help sustain the house my family grew up in. Too many memories there to let go of. This continued throughout my time in university. Once I graduated and at home looking for a job, she became even more emotionally and verbally abusive to me. Her drinking also ramped up to eleven. She would take vodka and orange juice in a travel mug to work with her and be hammered by the time she got home. She would stumble around, fall down, pass out and say my dad was beating her. He just took it, but I eventually I had had enough. With support and help from my girlfriend and my friends I left. I packed what I could quickly and left, leaving behind many of my possessions including my framed degree and certificates.

I havent seen or spoken with my dad or close family for a year and a half now (I left April 22nd 2012). I had gotten to the point where I have to do what is best for myself. I'm starting my own life and did not want that kind of environment in it. Leaving my family in the grasp of that horrible woman was extremely difficult (and still keeps me up sometimes) but they are all adults and decided they wanted to keep her around. My dad decided every day that he wanted to expose his family to her evil. I decided I didnt want to deal with it anymore. It was starting to change me as a person. I had become more bitter and resentful in my day to day interactions. I now have a full time job, my girlfriend of 7 years and I are talking marriage and buying a house and am very happy with my friends and extended family.

I see only two actions you can take:

1) Hope your dad realizes enough is enough and divorces her. This will be messy as hell since your mom will go down swinging and try to cause as much damage as possible. However in the long run, your family (yourself, your dad and your sister) will be happier to finally have her go. Short term pain vs long term gain, or

2) You do what I did and leave. Remove yourself from that kind of negativity. You dont want to leave other loved ones behind but you need to do what is best for you before it really takes its toll. This wont be as hard for you as it was for me, as you can still enjoy a nice relationship with your father and sister.

I wish you the best moving forward. I wouldnt wish this kind of situation on anyone. You and your family will be in my prayers tonight!

[The Ogdru Jahad]

Hey guys, thanks for all the help etc, here's a little update.

My uncle and I took my dad aside and we had a lengthy talk with him, at this point, with how destructive my mother is in relation to our family, he's pursuing divorce. Probably the best option if you ask me. I'm not sad about it, it has to be done. It's the best of all the bad options. Thanks again everyone! It really is appreciated!

[Oftenwrongsoong]

It sounds like your mother is an absolutely terrible person. That being said...

You are a legal adult living in someone else's house. Unless your mother is physically abusing you or your siblings it's on you to move out on your own.

[Katchii]

Talk to a lawyer, not MMO-C...unless someone on MMO-C is a lawyer.....I guess? Regardless there's nothing we can do from here. Talking to a person versed in legal rights and laws and such will be your best bet.

[Celista]

Hey guys, thanks for all the help etc, here's a little update.

My uncle and I took my dad aside and we had a lengthy talk with him, at this point, with how destructive my mother is in relation to our family, he's pursuing divorce. Probably the best option if you ask me. I'm not sad about it, it has to be done. It's the best of all the bad options. Thanks again everyone! It really is appreciated!

Awesome, sounds like it. Good luck to you guys.

[Hyve]

None of us here are really appropriate to answer your question fully, but I'll do my best to clear this little issue up.

The first problem you're going to have is legal grounds for her removal. Is she posing a threat to yourself, your family, your neighbors or the community as a whole? Is she is, then it may be possible to have her removed from the household, and taken elsewhere, even into custody and then onto the legal system.

The second problem you'll face is your family, because although you may want her gone, what about your father, and the rest of your family. Are you going to be able to convince your father / family, that she has got to leave the house, on your demand?

There are however other avenues for you to go down, and that is simply you could leave the situation yourself. You're 19 and while I don't know which country you're from, you're at, or soon approaching the age where you'll be legally recognised as an adult, and be given all the privileges that come with that, such as the right to ownership of your own property and the legal grounds to move out of your parents place.

If you have younger siblings, you may also be able to get them out by going through emancipation, or getting them into the Social Services network.

All in all, the property is likely to be hers on the legal grounds of things, and so you'll have an almost impossible task of having her removed. The easier, cheaper and more appropriate option for yourself, would be to move out. I know it won't be easy, but if you've got friends you can move in with, pay some rent, and have your own place then that might help.

Sadly though, your mother sounds like a total asshole, and is not going to make any move you make easy, so please, do so with caution. You give her one little sign you're considering something like this, and you'll have a real struggle on your hands.

Best of luck friend!

[Lyrax]

This seems pretty serious. Sounds like a pretty hellish life, and ur mum is a bit mental if you don't mind me saying. I take it she's completely unapproachable - and for anyone to live in this situation is obviously really difficult on you mentally. Tbh, if ur dad can't see the problem as well something is seriously wrong. If he can see her almost mentally manipulating you he should, as the "sane parent" stand up and prevent that. Your Granny is 90 and ur mum is giving her stress like that? Tbh, I would say ur mum has some serious mental health problem, and should have a LOT more respect for someone who brought her into the world. I'm sure there's some helplines or something that you can phone about this, or if she's physically abusing you, you could just phone the police and have her arrested, depending on the severity of the assault.

At 19 also I would agree with quite a lot of people on this forum, and perhaps try and move out. If you can't afford to move out, see if you can find a friend or a couple of friends who maybe want to rent a place out with you then you's can all just live there? You said you wanted to live with ur dad + sister however, so maybe moving out with friends can be a temporary situation until you can convince ur dad perhaps that ur mum is a bit crazy? :S

[Hyve]

Hey guys, thanks for all the help etc, here's a little update.

My uncle and I took my dad aside and we had a lengthy talk with him, at this point, with how destructive my mother is in relation to our family, he's pursuing divorce. Probably the best option if you ask me. I'm not sad about it, it has to be done. It's the best of all the bad options. Thanks again everyone! It really is appreciated!

I'm glad your father isn't being blind to the situation, and he is aware of the problems. By the sound of things though, she too may need mental assistance and support. Although right now your first and foremost desire is to just get the hell out of there, don't forget to look back and help her if you can as well.

The last thing you need, is to escape only to find she has completely lost it, and is coming for you guys.

[Lyrax]

Hey guys, thanks for all the help etc, here's a little update.

My uncle and I took my dad aside and we had a lengthy talk with him, at this point, with how destructive my mother is in relation to our family, he's pursuing divorce. Probably the best option if you ask me. I'm not sad about it, it has to be done. It's the best of all the bad options. Thanks again everyone! It really is appreciated!

Oh I just saw this! That's good news I guess in a way. Tbh It would be for the best. Good luck

[vindicatorx]

I heared from cases that Children can in fact force their parents into psychotherapy by law if there is abusive behaviour documented.
Id say get your father and siblings behind you and maybe even record that.
Your father may be passive but the "helping"-aspect behind this plan may trigger his support.
But that said I live in germany and dunno if this works where you come from

He is 19 that does not apply, he can't even take his grievances to a court because he is voluntarily staying in her house.

[dez1216]

Hey guys, thanks for all the help etc, here's a little update.

My uncle and I took my dad aside and we had a lengthy talk with him, at this point, with how destructive my mother is in relation to our family, he's pursuing divorce. Probably the best option if you ask me. I'm not sad about it, it has to be done. It's the best of all the bad options. Thanks again everyone! It really is appreciated!

From what I've read I'm glad to hear he's taking that option. Divorce is never something anyone wants, but sometimes it's the best thing to do. Good luck to you and your family