"Best Friend"

[Quirin]

Before she broke up with her BF, she said I was her best friend too so.. lol

[Deleted]

Its hard to understand a woman my friend.

Usually "we are best friends" means "i want to know you better."

[PizzaSHARK]

Before she broke up with her BF, she said I was her best friend too so.. lol

"Best friend" does not mean "boyfriend," or anything remotely similar to it.

Since you made this thread, you clearly want to fuck her. Okay, so tell her that - maybe not those exact words, but the same meaning.

Otherwise you're wasting your time and are setting yourself up to get hurt.

---------- Post added 2012-12-15 at 04:35 AM ----------

Its hard to understand a woman my friend.

Usually "we are best friends" means "i want to know you better."

Er, no. You can't just apply blanket logic to interactions with people like that.

And women aren't hard to understand, no harder than men are to understand.

[Mukki]

I doubt anybody here is qualified to give you any mind-blowing advice.
She'd be the one to know, make your intentions clear. If failure - Oh well! It happens.

I can't stress this enough. A lot of people who end up in the "friend zone" are in it because they veiled their intentions. Think about it, if you want to get with someone, do you think it helps your chances if they see you as asexual?

[Deleted]

Friendzoned my friend, it's tough to do a comeback from there.

[Hyve]

How recently? To jump in now is a stupid move, as she is likely to make bad decisions (for the both of you) on emotions. Let the time pass, and if she feels the same way about you, you'll pick up the vibe.

I see a lot of these threads, there really is no secret trick to getting women.

[Eroginous]

Roofies.

Works every time...

[Deleted]

It's possible, there's no automatic friend-zone thing and people get out of it all the time. I've never been with a girl I wasn't friends with first. I did go out with my best friend for a couple of months once, when it got boring we decided to end it, we're still best friends though, see eachother every day.

[Rotted]

IMO you have been friend zoned... But you can always try...

Sorry, but I have to agree with this guy, also been there done that, doesn't happen

[Itisamuh]

Don't listen to the friend zone crap. It's just an excuse people use to explain why a girl doesn't find them attractive. Just because the girl considers you her friend doesn't mean you don't have a shot. However, you better make it clear with your behavior that you're interested in more than a friendship. As long as you aren't pushy or desperate about it, and she finds you at least somewhat attractive, you'll have as good of a chance as anyone else.

[Eorayn]

I agree with this guy. But the problem is "past girlfriends". If she considers you a best friend and she gets out of a long term relationship to be with or sleep with you, then you'd be lucky to get more than a rebound relationship. You can go for it, and probably will, just hope that your friendship is strong enough to endure going back to the way things are now. That's assuming what you want from this girl is more than just sex.

The most important thing in a relationship is knowing each other well enough. Which is why some of best relationships comes out of two besties :P

[RoKPaNda]

Every time someone says "Friend Zoned" as if that's actually a real thing they look so juvenile. Life doesn't work that way. People aren't that simple. Referring to not being able to make a relationship happened as "being friend zoned" is just a convenient excuse. There is no little invisible timer somewhere that when it reaches 0 you're no longer able to start a relationship with someone. I've known people who were close friends for years before ending up together.

OP some people are giving you some advice that boils down to "Quick, act like a dipshit so that she doesn't consider you a friend and make your intentions clear." - That's advice from lack of experience and lack of confidence. If you just want to get in her pants, that might work for you. If you want something more than that, don't listen to those people, because that advice just makes you someone to be with for awhile and then move on to someone better and more stable for the long run.

Also contrary to some of the advice you're being given, not everyone wants to move into a new relationship the moment they end the previous ones. You know your friend, nobody else here does, use your best judgment, and be careful about accepting advice from random men on the internet who are clearly thinking with the wrong head.

[PizzaSHARK]

Don't listen to the friend zone crap. It's just an excuse people use to explain why a girl doesn't find them attractive. Just because the girl considers you her friend doesn't mean you don't have a shot. However, you better make it clear with your behavior that you're interested in more than a friendship. As long as you aren't pushy or desperate about it, and she finds you at least somewhat attractive, you'll have as good of a chance as anyone else.

Someone doesn't have much experience. Friendzoning is very real, and only idiots allow it to continue. You lay the cards on the table and if you lost, you thank the dealer for the game and go play slots or something.

You don't sit there and expect the dealer to deal you a winning hand if you pretend to be their friend. This fucking "maybe if I put enough 'friendship' in, I'll be rewarded with sex!" behavior is fucking ridiculous and is the province of virgins or guys who are unmanned by the possibility of rejection.



---------- Post added 2012-12-15 at 09:22 AM ----------

OP some people are giving you some advice that boils down to "Quick, act like a dipshit so that she doesn't consider you a friend and make your intentions clear." - That's advice from lack of experience and lack of confidence.

That's advice from people who know what a relationship is and understand that relationships are based off of trust. Trust requires honesty, and if you're acting like you don't want to fuck her... why in the fuck are you even making a thread like this? No, you're lying to her, and to yourself, about your actual intentions and that's a fantastic recipe for a failure of a relationship.

If you just want to get in her pants, that might work for you. If you want something more than that, don't listen to those people, because that advice just makes you someone to be with for awhile and then move on to someone better and more stable for the long run.

Newsflash: Wanting to fuck someone does not mean you are only interested in sex.

In fact, sex is a core component of what most people would define as "love," and it's why relationships where sex is infrequent, unpleasant, or some combination of the two are not healthy, successful relationships.

If you're "best friends," with a girl and then you are coming to an internet forum (of all fucking places... an internet forum?) to ask questions about what you should be doing... you want to fuck her and that's why you are here, you are asking random strangers on the best way of getting into her pants. Period!

Does that mean you aren't also interested in a lasting, fulfilling relationship with her? Of course not. But sex is a core component in any healthy relationship, so acting like you don't want to bend her backwards over a table is being dishonest to everyone involved.

Also contrary to some of the advice you're being given, not everyone wants to move into a new relationship the moment they end the previous ones. You know your friend, nobody else here does, use your best judgment, and be careful about accepting advice from random men on the internet who are clearly thinking with the wrong head.

In this case you're thinking with neither head, you're thinking with your heart, and that's a recipe for disaster.

[Deleted]

In fact, sex is a core component of what most people would define as "love," and it's why relationships where sex is infrequent, unpleasant, or some combination of the two are not healthy, successful relationships.

This I disagree with. There are plenty (even if they are a minor minority) of asexuals in loving, healthy and successful relationships with no sex involved.

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

Okay so, I've been hanging out with this girl a lot recently and she has told me a couple of times that she considers me her best friend. She also recently broke up with her boyfriend and feels better when we talk. Will I ever be able to have a relationship with her if I wanted too? Or am I screwed?

You could totally be her rebound guy, but that window of opportunity is closing.

Make your move today.

[Ebildays]

Men are fearsome creatures.

The only thing you can do is tell her. And to be honest she may already know because men, especially, young men tend not to be so good at hiding when they are really attracted to someone. If she has any type of female friends they have already given you the once and twice over. Looked/talked about your every action and discussed any possible hidden meaning behind it. Now if you have been friend zoned completely she is going to just ignore her friends jokes about you wanting to lay some pipe or wanting to drill in her Gulf of Mexico. But if you have not she has thought about it so you may have a chance.

The important thing is to tell her before she finds someone else or someone else finds her. Do it over the phone, text, or however you feel comfortable doing it but just do it.

[RoKPaNda]

Someone doesn't have much experience. Friendzoning is very real, and only idiots allow it to continue. You lay the cards on the table and if you lost, you thank the dealer for the game and go play slots or something.

You don't sit there and expect the dealer to deal you a winning hand if you pretend to be their friend. This fucking "maybe if I put enough 'friendship' in, I'll be rewarded with sex!" behavior is fucking ridiculous and is the province of virgins or guys who are unmanned by the possibility of rejection.



---------- Post added 2012-12-15 at 09:22 AM ----------



That's advice from people who know what a relationship is and understand that relationships are based off of trust. Trust requires honesty, and if you're acting like you don't want to fuck her... why in the fuck are you even making a thread like this? No, you're lying to her, and to yourself, about your actual intentions and that's a fantastic recipe for a failure of a relationship.



Newsflash: Wanting to fuck someone does not mean you are only interested in sex.

In fact, sex is a core component of what most people would define as "love," and it's why relationships where sex is infrequent, unpleasant, or some combination of the two are not healthy, successful relationships.

If you're "best friends," with a girl and then you are coming to an internet forum (of all fucking places... an internet forum?) to ask questions about what you should be doing... you want to fuck her and that's why you are here, you are asking random strangers on the best way of getting into her pants. Period!

Does that mean you aren't also interested in a lasting, fulfilling relationship with her? Of course not. But sex is a core component in any healthy relationship, so acting like you don't want to bend her backwards over a table is being dishonest to everyone involved.



In this case you're thinking with neither head, you're thinking with your heart, and that's a recipe for disaster.

I was going to say that you have to have had some horrible experiences to be that jaded, but then I realized based on your wording of your argument and your position itself that I'm probably talking to someone that's still in their teens. Most relationships don't work the way you describe. As time goes on in a relationship and it terms into a very long term relationship sex often becomes infrequent. There are many more important things in a relationship.

Friend-Zoning isn't real, or at least not the way you describe it. It's not about a magical timer that ticks down to 0 and suddenly you've got no chance at more than that. Not all people are compatible, and quite frequently someone will be friends with someone that they would never be in a relationship with. That's not a problem, that's not a bad thing, that's just how it works. It's not because one person made their move too slow or whatever, it's just because there isn't any attraction there and sometimes you can't do anything about that.

The only time limit that exists is the time between when the person in question in the OP wants to be in a new relationship and the time she finds it. That's his window. There is absolutely no such thing as being someone's friend for so long that any other kind of relationship is no longer possible. Or being too much of a friend to them will prevent a relationship of another kind from being formed with that person. I'm telling you this from 30 years of life experience. As other people have pointed out many many people have been friends for years and then ended up being more than that.

I'll agree that this really isn't the place to ask for such advice, and I'll even agree that OP should be honest but he should use his better judgement and think about if his friend is even ready for a new relationship so soon after the last one. I can only hope that he doesn't however listen to a lot of the other advice in this thread. Such as being THAT direct or that crude about it.

[Deleted]

This says it all my friend. Talking about it online wont get you anywhere. Talk to her. Tell her youd like to see if you two work as more then friends. let her know theres no pressure but you would like a chance. If she says yes then well done. If she says no then you say thats ok and change the subject. DONT MAKE IT WEIRD if you wanna keep her as a friend.

[TequilaFlavor]

This says it all my friend. Talking about it online wont get you anywhere. Talk to her. Tell her youd like to see if you two work as more then friends. let her know theres no pressure but you would like a chance. If she says yes then well done. If she says no then you say thats ok and change the subject. DONT MAKE IT WEIRD if you wanna keep her as a friend.

Bonus points for the picture !

And good advice to boot. But you don't have to say it directly and bluntly, it might be better to just strongly hint in that direction and take it step by step.

However, that COMPLETELY depends on the girl and your relationship to her.

Always be/seem as confident as you can without playing a role, always make it as little weird as possible - if you really go for the direct and blunt approach, make it a natural one, it's extremely weird and bad if it comes off as staged/learned by hard.

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

I always say the best way to test the waters is with a motorboat.

It'll let you know where you stand in no unclear terms.