unexplained punishment from loved ones

[swineflu]

How do you deal with loved ones who punish you with coldness and a steady drip of venom but never explain why?

(Assuming you don't want to discard loved ones from your life)

[Lodreh]

Need more context... doesn't happen in with my loved ones so I need a frame of reference.

[Wilian]

I'll ask what is it they're upset about and if they don't tell I'll just tell them to fuck off if they want to behave like adolescent children.

[Garkanh]

if you are talking about your girlfriend/wife... better apologice, tell her she is right and that you will do whatever you can in the future to make it better.

even if you have no idea what you did. they get mad about the most random things. perhaps you forgot her birthday, or some grand-grand uncle of hers. or perhaps you forgot to buy something while at the store. the possibilitys are endless, so just apologice. you will probably never figure out what the real reason is.

[Deleted]

I ignore them until they stop being dicks.

[Deleted]

Wouldn't know, I don't date psychobitches

[Wilian]

if you are talking about your girlfriend/wife... better apologice, tell her she is right and that you will do whatever you can in the future to make it better.

even if you have no idea what you did. they get mad about the most random things. perhaps you forgot her birthday, or some grand-grand uncle of hers. or perhaps you forgot to buy something while at the store. the possibilitys are endless, so just apologice. you will probably never figure out what the real reason is.

He's speaking in plural so it's fair to assume the question was wider and encompasses others like your immediate family and friend and so on.

[tankbug]

It only happens with an ex of mine, which is still a good friend. She has these moments when she's pissed at me for something I said/did or should have said/done. We don't live together, so I can ignore it and pretend everything is fine. Her frustration of me not realizing my mistakes and apologizing, breaks her silent treatment, and I get a full report on the situation, which usually is a crazy interpretation of the story, which is either plain wrong or where she assumes my motives were pure evil. After I have corrected her, she returns to her normal state. She's a good friend, so I can take it, but this is the main reason we could never be together again.

[Maltah]

Why are you dating a snake?

[lolreally]

I simply cut them out of my life. Family/Friends whichever. They start acting like dicks, I just completely ignore them and don't speak to them anymore.

If they want to be assholes, they can be, I just don't care enough to be around it.

[Chirri]

I guess I'd wonder what the heck was wrong with me that I'm assuming people are giving me the cold treatment for no good reason, rather than assuming they've got their own lives, their own worries, their own stresses that might be causing them to withdraw so seriously. Why am I making this about me being a victim, rather than someone else having a hard time.

Because no one in my life does that to me.

[Eraclito]

It only happens with an ex of mine, which is still a good friend. She has these moments when she's pissed at me for something I said/did or should have said/done. We don't live together, so I can ignore it and pretend everything is fine. Her frustration of me not realizing my mistakes and apologizing, breaks her silent treatment, and I get a full report on the situation, which usually is a crazy interpretation of the story, which is either plain wrong or where she assumes my motives were pure evil. After I have corrected her, she returns to her normal state. She's a good friend, so I can take it, but this is the main reason we could never be together again.

I'm in the SAME EXACT situation. Ex-girlfriend of mine, still good friends, gets angry for weird reasons. Once she gave me back our engagement ring because a girl asked my Facebook friendship, and that girl happened to have the same name (just the name) of another girl she hated and was jealous about.
I also tried many times to explain her that "if something I say could be interpreted in more than one way, and one of these ways hurts you, I'm almost certain you got it wrong". She then got more and more angry, answering about how "that's a good excuse", so I just kept ignoring her until she cool down. It works. Oh, but not the relationship, it doesn't. Run away from girls like her as fast as you can.

[poser765]

I'm in the SAME EXACT situation. Ex-girlfriend of mine, still good friends, gets angry for weird reasons. Once she gave me back our engagement ring because a girl asked my Facebook friendship, and that girl happened to have the same name (just the name) of another girl she hated and was jealous about.
I also tried many times to explain her that "if something I say could be interpreted in more than one way, and one of these ways hurts you, I'm almost certain you got it wrong". She then got more and more angry, answering about how "that's a good excuse", so I just kept ignoring her until she cool down. It works. Oh, but not the relationship, it doesn't. Run away from girls like her as fast as you can.

Wait wait wait...your ex kept the engagement ring AND feels you need to find excuses for the women you dated AFTER you two broke up? My friend, I think you are doing "breaking up" wrong.

[poser765]

Yeah, sounds like she may still have feelings for you.

And/or the other way around.

[Raphtheone]

I've had two women like that in my life. One had serious insecurity issues, and the other was just batshit.

You deal with it by cutting ties and moving on. Unless that's the kind of thing you want in your life, then you deal with it by embracing it. You'll still have no clue what's wrong, but at least you can take comfort that it's now a part of your life.

The middleground is patience. Basically tire them out by taking everything they're dishing, and when they're out of energy you set them straight, at which point they'll be too tired to argue. This route requires very large (or many) cheeks, as you'll be turning them a lot. Don't expect the situation to improve though.

[Eraclito]

Wait wait wait...your ex kept the engagement ring AND feels you need to find excuses for the women you dated AFTER you two broke up? My friend, I think you are doing "breaking up" wrong.

Well, the "i'm mad about the girls you know" thing kinda stopped one year after we broke up. She kept the ring, but it wasn't a crazy-expensive one, just a symbol. And... It's been a weird relationship, we may still have some feelings for each other, but we know it's not going to work.
Oh, but she still gets angry about some stuff, like different opinions about silly things, so I sometimes still have to ignore her for a while.

[Forgettable]

You mean my brother? Well, my family tried to reach out to him, love him, spend time with him... And he decided he didn't want anything to do with us 6 months ago and cut off all communication. So I don't really know what's up with that.

[Tradewind]

My family has disowned me for supporting the GMO nightmare factory.

I am so sad now!

[Tradewind]

newfangled Canadian version of facebook.

Facenanook.

[Hraklea]

I ask them what the heck is wrong with them.